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Just Said Yes July 2020

How Is Married Life Without arguing

Helen, on November 17, 2019 at 11:16 PM Posted in Married Life 1 11

Me and my fiancée wanted to Know How is married life without Arguing Because we've Had some problems because of our past and history

11 Comments

Latest activity by Laura, on November 18, 2019 at 8:32 PM
  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
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    I'm not sure I entirely understand your question? Do you perhaps mean "how to live married life without arguing?"
    If so- it sounds like couples counseling could be in order if you argue a lot.
    Also, set rules and boundaries and stick to them. Sometimes I know people make rules like "if we start yelling we need to stop, take a break, and return to the discussion later" to prevent things from getting out of hand.
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  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Helen ·
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    yes that's what I meant

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  • L
    Beginner December 2020
    Lana ·
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    Oh honey, I've been married for 25 years (my daughter is getting married next year so we're here together to plan). You will never have a marriage without arguing. It just simply doesn't happen. What does happen is that you learn how to handle your arguments. You learn what is worth arguing about and what isn't. You learn how to fight fairly without insults and hurtful statements. You learn that you can fight, but you still love each other. You learn that arguing can help you both figure out what you are feeling, but you just didn't know how to express it. You learn how to talk things out before it reaches an argument. You learn to argue in a way that it can build you up ultimately.


    You're going to argue. Embrace it. Learn from it. Never let your arguments be hurtful, insulting or foul. (Easier said than done) If your relationship has any abuse (physical/ mental or emotional) report it and seek help immediately. You should never fear for your physical, mental or emotional safety in any relationship.

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  • H
    Just Said Yes July 2020
    Helen ·
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    Thanks Lana You always know what to say

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  • thisismrsb
    Expert June 2019
    thisismrsb ·
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    Oh, my husband and I argue all the time! 😉 Even while I'm mad at him, I still tell him that I love him. In fact, today I was mad at him for something all day and he still dropped what he was doing just because I wanted a hug from him. Every night we say we love each other when we go to bed, even after every argument. My Nana used to say, "Never go to bed angry." I like to live by that.
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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
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    There is no way to have any kind of relationship without some disagreements. Are you saying you feel the arguments are mean-spirited or harmful emotionally? Do one or both of you say things in anger that hurts the other? Do you find you're arguing over petty things that become huge issues? If you feel the arguing is excessive or non-constructive, I would recommend therapy.

    Last night my wife said a couple of things to me with frustration in her voice. It made me feel hurt and I shut down to think it through which hurt her thinking I didn't want to participate in what we were in the middle of. We took some time to clam ourselves and I learned she was frustrated with herself because she wasn't communicating what she wanted effectively, and I shut her out instead of letting her know I needed to think through what just happened. We went to bed happy and healthy in our relationship. It really helps to have tools of communication ready for moments like that. Without those tools we may have been yelling at each other over nothing. Therapy is a great way to get those tools and learn how to use them.

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  • B
    Super July 2018
    Brittany ·
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    Honestly, I think it's healthier to argue than to keep everything inside. My husband and I argue fairly often, but we always calm down and have a REAL conversation about exactly what's bothering us and what we can work on.

    So as long as you two aren't yelling at each other, then avoiding each other then not talking about the issue afterwards. It's totally fine to argue!

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  • Catherine
    VIP November 2019
    Catherine ·
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    Arguments mean that you are being honest and do not agree. I guess depending on what the underlying issues are could be reason for different types of fighting. I would suggest some premarital counseling. Openly discuss your feelings and issues with each other. Set some boundaries and hopefully you guys can work through them. best of luck!

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  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    This! This is everything!
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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
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    I don't think I can say we argue but we have a conversation about certain things when they arise. My husband has such a mellow attitude that he does not get to that point of raising his voice easily. I am a fire cracker but his calm brings me down many levels. We have had disagreements but we always talk them out. Be open and honest, try and stop a problem if you see one forming.

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  • L
    Dedicated May 2022
    Laura ·
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    My fiancé and I are doing pre marital counseling and it’s been great! We are going once a week for however long we choose to go or feel we need. There will be hurdles in your future and there will be disagreements, that’s normal. Figuring out how to work through those is the key. Consider ore marital counseling with a good counselor that specializes in that. Good luck!
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