How long should you be together before marriage?

FMS, The barefoot wife! and Mr.S can not comment on threads so this is what she has to say:

"I am one of the unluckies that can't post comments, but I wanted to PM you my comment. I agree that it's different for every couple. People have different standards and feelings on how a relationship is, what you share, what you do in front of them, etc. Some people don't feel the need to be able to 'embrass' themselves in front of their partner (IE: some feel that burping, farting, etc infront of their partner is rude) So I don't think it's fair to say that just because you can't do embarassing things (ANYTHING) infront of your partner, you shouldn't get married because you don't truly know that person. I also think that you never know a person 100%, you will ALWAYS learn something,new, fun, exciting, hilarous, etc, about your partner. You can't just share everything you have ever done & felt in your entire life, because frankly, that is impossible! You cannot remember every single thing that

"that's happened in your life, that's how you learn new things about your partener, wether you have been together for 2 months or 100 years. When you know, you know. It's like sex, finding the right vendor, what have you. There is no magic, universal number for everyone/couple. "

It will be 7 1/2 years when we get married and we were engaged for 14 months. Of course we met when we were 18 so we had some growing up to do first.

Like everyone else says, I think it depends on the couple. With my FH and I, we just knew. After a month we moved in together and when he proposed after three and a half years no one was surprised. I do however think it is very important no matter how long a couple is together to sit down and talk about their expectations and if they feel like things will/should change after marriage. Then again, if you know you are meant for each other and know marriage is what you both want, at that point, the date doesn't matter and the wait isn't a big deal.

We were engaged after seven months and married in less than two years. No one rule fits all.

I would not marry someone I hadn't been dating for at least two years. For somewhere between 6 months and 2 years, people are typically in a state of infatuation. Their brains are flooded with feel good chemicals. They act better than normal, and also are less able to see the flaws in a partner than normal. To my mind, that is a very dangerous time to get married. And the more "sure" people are before the end of that time, the more I suspect that they are not really ready to get married.

Well, I am one of "those" women.... met June 20th, engaged August 2nd, married September 10th of last year. I do learn more about my husband every day, and he learns about me every day. But that is any relationship. I know more about him than his own mother does (trust me, it's true). And he knows me better than my own father. I had some pretty shi##y experiences with exes and so I think experience plays a HUGE role in how our relationship works or doesn't work. How do I know we were meant to be together:

when he walks into a room my heart gets lighter, no matter the mood I am in.

I can't STAY mad at him- I can get mad, I can be angry even furious, but I don't get the urge to slit his throat in his sleep. I dreamt of him, quite literally. I knew what kind of work he did, how tall he was, what his body type was, just never saw his face. When we met, I KNEW!

He literally completes me. I know it sounds cliche but he really does. My heart and soul feel whole with him in my life. (cont)

That is enough for me, so judge me if you must, the great thing about my relationship is that it doesn't matter what others think, only what DH and I think/feel. I don't mean to sound harsh, but I know that we are judged, and I it doesn't matter to me. every one is different.

We will be together for just over 4 years when we get married. Also we have been living together for 2 and a half. I'm glad we started living together before hand because now we know how we work together around the house and not a whole lot will change besides a piece of paper saying we are married.

We will have been together a little over 4 years...but we have been living together about 3.5 years!

I have a close friend who knew her husband 13 days when they got married! And then I have my daughter who dated her husband for 5 years before they got engaged. Everyone moves at their own pace and no one answer works for all. Its always fun to discuss and see the range of things though! :-)

I think Sharon makes a great point about age and experience and to me that's the only exception.

To me, people in their late teens to mid-twenties dating <1yr before getting married is rushing it. True, I may be biased; FH and I have been together almost 6 years which is the same amount of time my parents dated before getting married as well as his parents. Both sets are still together and very happy . We met randomly, became friends over a couple months, and a few months after that we were dating. After almost 2 years we discussed marriage and decided we wanted to wait to get out of college and be living together with a double income before we took it to that level. We got engaged at a little over 4 years of dating and through that time period we experienced a lot of ups and downs (more ups than downs, of course) involving family, pets, money and had time to discuss lifestyle for the future (such as careers, living situations, children, etc) which is important.

By the time we get married in sept it will be 7yrs on the day of. so we're together for 3yrs before he asked me. so i'd say two or more years i think that cause most people are just getting to really know someone by the first year, but then it's one of those things that time doesn't change anything too, so it's one of those things

I definitely don't think there is a specific number that you can place on it. FS and I had been together for just over 6 years when he proposed to me. Now we also met in high school and dated in high school then went to two totally different colleges that were a few hours away from each other and then when he graduated he moved even farther away for his job. During this whole process we talked about getting married but we wanted to wait to get engaged until I was out of college because of our big distance. We knew for a long time we wanted to get married and it has truly worked for us

But everyone is different and however they want to play it out I think is totally up to them!

Wow I got cut-off. I was going to say that younger individuals who move quickly, in my opinion, could potentially be asking for trouble. FH and I dated for 4 years before we got enganged and will be together for 6 by the time of the wedding (coincidentally this is the same amount of time my parents dated before marrying and same for FH's parents. Both sets are still very happily married). The time allowed us to get to know one another and experience plenty of ups and downs involving our pets, money, school, family and even friends. We learned how each copes with loss, how each deals with frustration, how we celebrate and how we pray/believe/think/etc. We know our hopes for the future involving children, careers, living conditions, and all the other things I feel should be discussed and understood before getting married. I love John and I have no doubt in my mind we'll be toghether for eternity, but I am glad we waited to get to know one another so well.

I agree with others, everyone is dfferent.....there is definitely a "honeymoon phase" loaded with feel-good chemicals that 2nd bride mentioned.

FH and I have been living together 2 years and will be living together 3 years when the wedding rolls around.

I have known him for 9 years and have been dating for 5.

However, with FH's first marriage, he dated his ex-wife 9 years before marrying at age 30- and was divorced at 37.

My fiance and i got engaged after dating for 6 months, but we both knew immediately that we were meant to be together. when u find the one u want to spend your life with, u want that part of your life to start now. thats how i feel at least

I think at least 1 year and a half or 2 years(If they are both adults). I am just looking back my at past relationships and friend's past relationships and 1 year doesn't seem long enough to really get to know the good and the bad ,but it really does depend on the couple. We took almost 7 years but thats because we met when we were 19. I guess it depends.

I'm glad I'm not the only one on here who got engaged after 2 months. I think that for each couple it is different. FH and I are both pretty young but we have both been through abusive relationships as well as many other things as far as relationships, family, and other things go. Within 24 hours we know literally every detail of each others lives. We instantly had that chemistry and knew we were right for each other. I do agree with 2dbride about the "honeymoon phase" but FH and I have been through so much already we knew what we wanted and that we were right for each other. I think when you know, you know, I know that in the "old days" people would get married after a week or two so I think that it's still possible to know who the right person for you is in a short amount of time. However, before I met FH, I was one of those people who thought you'd be crazy for marrying each other after only dating a year or so but FH and I will be together 16 months by the wedding and I can

Honestly say that we are both making the right decision and have talked about all the big and little things in life that go into a relationship.