How many extra "safety guests" did you invite?

Honestly? I never considered inviting more than what I wanted. Yes I know people will decline, but it's not like I need 105 people exactly at my wedding, if I get less it's not the end of the world, that's more than enough for me.

FYI, my FSIL just had 185 guests at her wedding, and she was saying today how many people she didn't even get to see, and how frustrating it was that she didn't get to talk to everyone.

We invited 61 guests for our desired head count of 60. The venue holds 120 or so.

We invited 61 guests for our desired head count of 60. The venue holds 120 or so.

We got all our RSVPs in (On TIME..... whaaaaattttt?!?!?!) And we had about 92% acceptance rate and most of the declines were plus ones soooo be careful.

I don't think a B-list is rude. After posting this and reading some of the responses my dad told me he was on a b-list for his friends wedding when some of the brides family couldn't make it and was super happy that his invite got sent out because they had a blast. My parents are paying for the venue and we guaranteed them 115, so that would be the main reason for even considering a b-list. I wouldn't want their money to go towards food not eaten and an empty seat.

I'm inviting 110 people. No B list and no safety. If they want to come they will and often people forget to RSVP. Invite the number you agreed on and stick with that.

My ex and I had 15% decline. This time I'm expecting closer to 100% attendance. We invited only close friends and relatives - the people who we know will make an effort to attend.

No no no. No b lists, no "safety guests", none of that. Plan for 100% attendance. Invite how many people you can properly host. If you get less guests than you wanted/ expected pocket the money saved or use it to upgrade food or bar or decor.

Plan on 100% acceptance. B lists are fine. Did you already pay for that set number of guests? I mean...most caterers don't need final numbers until a few weeks before...so if you hadn't already paid for them...why be so set on having a specific number? I'd rather be under where we should be and get a little break on the price and I'm sure your parents would feel the same.

My invites are being out in the mail today...so not sure on my decline rate yet. Probably won't be much though...of the 175 people we've personally talked to almost all have said "you can count on us being there!".

B lists are rude because you're telling your friends that they're second best. They will find out. Your guest list should be the first thing you plan then figure out how to properly host everyone you want to include. If you want other people invited cut back somewhere else. Only do beer and wine instead of a full open bar, scale down the decor and flowers, choose cheaper entrees, etc. or make tough cuts. But no b lists

You are not telling them they are second best. you are telling them that even though they are not family, you are trying your best to invite them because you want them there. don't call it a b-list then. call it a list of hopefuls. it's better to say i will invite you if i can than 'even if a space opens up, i wont invite you.' i feel VERY STRONGLY about this given that both my mother and FMIL have 8 siblings. the vast majority of our guest list is family. the friends that are invited are mostly mutual friends. we have VERY few plus ones, and they are only people who we know by name to put on the invite. so ya, my friends that are mine and not mutual would be thrilled if i was able to invite them

So thn what happens when the 5 people who responded no show up anyway and because you b listed now you have too many guests and don't have a place to seat them and/or you can't afford the extras? B listing is a bad idea all around. If you want certain people at your wedding badly enough figure out how I do it. Have a cake and punch reception instead of a meal for example. It comes down to priorities

Those 5 people who said no and then showed up anyway better bring their $5 footlong and chair.

It has nothing to do with cutting what we have already planned. The issue is whether 125 people or 20 people show up we are promising our venue to pay for 115 people. It's in our contract so we're locked into that number. So if only 110 show up we are paying for 5 empty spots. I'd rather have 5 extra guests show up because I invited extra people last minute then pay for 5 empty seats. Anyone we would invite would be friends who aren't super close to use. They would understand and not get offended.

I'm looking at a 9% decline rate. Absolutely do not invite more guests than your budget AND venue size can accomodate.

If your venue has a minimum ****% of the time is a monetary amount. So if you're short you can upgrade to top shelf liquor, or more apps, or better chairs, etc etc so you then meet that minimum. It's highly unlikely any venue would require you to actually have a certain number of people, it comes down to money. So if you're get a few people you get nicer stuff. Don't use people as fillers. People would ne'er tell you that they're hurt about being b listed as that would be rude of them. But most of them would be

Amy, learn to spell or get rid of the attitude.

The problem with a B list is calling it a B list. Unfortunately there are times when you have a large group and you can't invite everyone due to monetary or space issues. FH' s mother has 13 brothers & sisters. FH's father has 5 brothers and sisters. Would it be nice to invite all of them so his mom can feel like her entire family is there to see her son get married? Yes but unfortunately we don't have space for all of them. If people tell us they will be unable to make it, of course we will extend an invitation. Its not rude. Its fair but make sure you invite your VIP's first. VIP's meaning the people that your day would not be the same without. Ultimately it is your special day, you can add people up to the last minute if you want.

Adding people at the last minute is not the same as b listing. Making a new close friend or someone starting to date someone is a last minute invite and happens regardless of declines. You need to either make tough cuts or decide that having everyone you want invited is more important and budget accordingly. A b list is basically saying "I like you but you're not good enough to make the cut. If one o my more important guests decline the. You're good enough to come" even if that's not what you mean that's exactly how it comes across

Yikes. Yeah I had a b-list (granted, only 2 people) I told them that I had to invite family first and they we're super excited anyway once we were able to officially invite them. MOST people in the world actually understand these things.