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Steph N.
Super October 2018

How many people did you have at your bachelorette party?

Steph N., on March 10, 2018 at 1:56 PM Posted in Parties and Events 1 18
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My MOH has told me that she’s planning a bachelorette party, and she’s been asking me for a guest list since she doesn’t know everyone. Note - I’m not planning it! She asked me what I wanted to do for it and I told her I’m down with anything, just nothing too wild. No strippers or clubs! Her and I have similar interests, so whatever she plans will be perfect. It will likely be something low key like wine tasting and dinner. Ok, back to my question. I’ve been dragging my feet on providing a guest list because I feel like it’s too big. I know my aunts, cousins, and my mom all want to go and I would love for them to! I’m close with my family, so I really can’t imagihe going out to celebrate without them. I’m close in age to most of my cousins, and I was invited to their bachelorette parties. But family alone, plus me and MOH, is 11 people. I have friends I’d also like to include, plus FMIL and FH’s SIL (I just went to hers in Jan) but now I feel like the list is huge.

Am I overthinking? How many did you have at yours? Or if it hasn’t happened yet, how many will you have?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Adriana, on March 10, 2018 at 8:41 PM
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias ·
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    We did a spa day and dinner after and it was me and my bridesmaids. I've been to larger bachelorette parties where there were close to 20 people so I think 11 is fine.
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  • AC
    Devoted September 2021
    AC ·
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    It was 12 of us. Give your MOH the list of whoever you would like there and she’ll decide. But IMHO your list sounds more for a bridal shower fhan a Bachelorette party.
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  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·
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    I’ve invited 15 but think a few won’t be able to make it. I invited only friends.

    My mother, aunts and cousins will be invited to the shower but not the bachelorette party.
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  • Steph N.
    Super October 2018
    Steph N. ·
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    I know inviting family probably isn’t the norm. I struggle with not inviting them though because I truly think there would be hurt feelings. If I was 21 and going out to the club or something, then I wouldn’t think of it, but I’m in my mid 30s and it’ll likely be wine tasting and dinner or something.
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  • Daria
    VIP January 2019
    Daria ·
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    This sounds like more of a shower list than bachelorette. Maybe keep the list just to the family of your generation (friends, siblings, and cousins, but not parents and aunts.) FMIL would be a hard no for me, even if we had a great relationship. To me this is more a night for you and your girlfriends, but I'm sure everybody celebrates differently. See what the actual plan is, and that may sort of determine the list and how many can be accommodated.

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  • Steph N.
    Super October 2018
    Steph N. ·
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    FMIL was at FH’s SIL’s bachelorette party in Jan, which is why I’ve been mentally counting her on my list. I just don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings if I don’t invite them. 🙁
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  • Noel
    Savvy October 2019
    Noel ·
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    Give her the whole list, and if she can't afford it I'm sure she'll ask the guests to help. The only person it would be tacky to pay for themselves is you. You have enough stress worrying about the rest of your wedding leave this up to her.
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  • FutureMrsN
    Super October 2018
    FutureMrsN ·
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    I'm not planning mine either, but I gave a list to my MOH. It was the 7 bridal party members (2 can't make it, turns out..another wedding and giving birth, legit reasons!) plus 1 friend and 3 of FH's cousins we're close to. We're all going to my hometown and getting a beach house, and staying to do the bridal shower. My family is obviously invited to that but not the actual bachelorette part. So there will be 10 of us total.

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  • kelly
    Super June 2017
    kelly ·
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    There were 7 of us for mine but I only invited family to the wedding so it made the bachelorette smaller but I love smaller gatherings. So 7 was perfect for me.
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  • Gipperkm
    Super September 2018
    Gipperkm ·
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    I've never heard of mother, aunts and cousins (who aren't in the wedding) going to a bachlorette party. Sounds more like a shower. But hey, do want you want to do. If the list is large and the party isn't something your MOH can afford maybe she'll feel comfortable asking the other guests for help. My MOH (sister) is planning mine and there will be 5 total, including me. I was hoping our two officiants could come (also good friends), but they can't. They plan on taking me out for dinner and drinks in the city one evening to make for not being able to make the bachlorette party.
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  • Melanie
    Dedicated June 2018
    Melanie ·
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    I think the more the people know each other the easier it is for the group to be larger. I went to one with 27 women and it was kind of an awkward weekend because there were 4 distinct groups from the bride's different phases of life and each group had never met the other groups. One group was super catty and brought down the whole vibe.

    I think if it's going to be 20 people but everyone knows everyone then that'll be fine.


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  • V
    Beginner July 2018
    Valarie ·
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    You should have whoever is most important to you. If you’re really close with your cousins you should have them. Just don’t feel obligated to have people just because you were invited to their bachelorette party.
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  • W
    Savvy March 2018
    Wendy ·
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    I only had 20
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  • J
    Savvy February 2018
    Jennifer ·
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    I just had 7 girls total. 3 were bridal party. I didn't invite our moms, aunts etc for the bachelorette party just my close friends friends and 2 SIL.
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  • Stephanie
    Super March 2018
    Stephanie ·
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    I invited my bridesmaids and then a handful of friends so we ended up having a dozen people in and out throughout the day. Additional family members were invited to the shower.
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  • V
    Beginner May 2018
    Victoria ·
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    My bachelorette party is about 15-20 girls. I know it’s a lot but the more people, the more fun. We a rent a party bus and get dropped off at a club or two, nothing major!
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  • The Nuptials
    VIP July 2018
    The Nuptials ·
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    I’m having 6 it looks like plus me. I wouldn’t invite family but that’s me, I wouldn’t be comfortable and we aren’t doing anything wild. Just a sleepover and a day at two wineries. But my mom would want to have words with me if she saw me drunk soooo...

    give her her the list and she want she says? My crew we all chip in and pay our way so it’s not like the MOH is taking on a ton more. Maybe $100 if there was something special she had planned for the group.
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  • Adriana
    Expert October 2017
    Adriana ·
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    I did a wine tasting bachelorette party. My bridesmaids also threw my shower and were going to keep it small, so they included all my friends in my bachelorette. I think we invited closed to 25 people, including family, friends and bridal party. We ended up with about 10. I was just invited to a bachelorette party, and it looks like a group of about 20 as well.
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