How much did it cost to write your prenup?

If FH and I were younger, there is no question I would have a prenup. Since we both hover around 50 years old, forever is not such a long time. I own the house, I pay all the bills, but I would never leave him homeless and helpless, like my XH did to me. That being said, you had best make sure it covers everything. My cousin, who is a successful lawyer, had a prenup, and she just got totally screwed in her divorce. Basically all the prenup covered was her law license and her 401K.

I have complete faith and trust in my husband and don't appreciate the implication that I and others with prenups do not. There was no doubt, distrust, or hurt involved.

But as long as you are happy with your decision, that's really all that matters.

A prenup, again I said "for me," is a bit of an oxymoron. With a marriage, you are pledging to love and care for your future spouse for life, for better or for worse. When a prenup enters the equation, you are basically throwing in a contingency plan. This can and did create mixed emotions to say the least, at least for me. I didn't judge the trust and faith you have in your husband, I judged my FH's trust and faith in me. If he doesn't know my character enough to know that I wouldn't wage WWIII in a divorce then he didn't know me well enough to marry me. Prenups don't always hold up in court either, especially if they are lopsided. Anyhoo, there will be varying opinions on this and sorry for high jacking your post OP.

We did one using a legal website. We didn't have it reviewed by lawyers even though we know we should. It was kind of like, hey if nothing else, this document at least is written proof that at one time we agreed on these particular things should sh** totally hit the fan. It is a little strange but I decided it didn't really hurt anything to do, in our case at least. I wouldn't have been willing to spend thousands to do a proper one though.

I totally don't mind the discussions pro/con prenup, so no worries there. This is totally a different strokes for different folks sort of thing! The important thing is to go in with eyes wide open about what the legal implications are for marriage, and I appreciate the discussion. Planning for marriage is not all rainbows and marshmallow clouds -- for example, there are tax implications (hello, marriage penalty!) and other financial/familial/lifestyle issues that we all need to at least discuss with our future spouses before the vows.

We had FHs family attorney draw it up (who we also use) so didn't cost us anything as he is on retainer. A friend of mine looked it over for me to make sure my bit was covered not that we really needed it looked over but just to say it was.

Okay..

I think many people rush to arrange a prenup because we hear so much about it in the media but in reality, most people DO NOT need one unless you a) have family money or b) launched you're super amazing, super successful company prior to meeting your partner. For the most part, during your negotiations for the prenup, your (or their!) lawyer can argue anything you obtained during the relationship (...especially if you live together) qualifies as mutual property ALREADY... even before you say I do! Ultimately, the only truly smart thing to do since a prenup just doesn't apply to you (seriously, 9 out of 10 of you do not need one) is to - if you reaaaaally want to - legally stipulate where you want for the divorce to be filed and proceedings to occur (ex: Would you rather not have your divorce take place in CA because it is a pain in the butt, 50/50, blah blah, but in NH you can get a quickie divorce with little to no problem? Then legally stipulate that!)

@Mmhmm, you might be right.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/100816656

"How to Know If You Need a Prenup" Kelley Holland, CNBC, Tuesday, 18 Jun 2013 | 12:49 PM ET

"[Alton] Abramowitz [a divorce lawyer and president of the matrimonial lawyers' association] says prenups aren't really necessary for most middle class couples. If the point of an agreement is to keep the division of assets simple when a couple splits, he says the courts are already moving to make that the norm. Judges in New York already have a formula to use when setting some alimony awards, he says.

For his part, [Randall] Kessler [a divorce lawyer in Atlanta and the past chairman of the American Bar Association's family law section] says that 'if you don't have much assets, less than $100,000 or $200,000, it's probably not worth the lawyers' fees to draft' a prenup.'"

Here are some more interesting articles and snippets for those who are interested:

http://www.dailyfinance.com/2013/02/15/prenuptial-argreement-finance-love-money/

"With or without a prenup, certain assumptions hold true in most cases: '[The idea that] what I acquired up to the date of marriage is mine and what you've acquired is yours is pretty common in most states,' says Kessler."

Start the Prenup Process -- Even If You Don't Finish It

The conversation about whether or not to have a prenup can be a good entry into a conversation about finances that every couple should have before tying the knot: Who will pay for what? Who will stay home with children? What if someone wants to go back to school? How much of our paychecks will we save for retirement? But too often, says Lisa Bahar, a family and marriage therapist from Dana Point, Calif., those conversations stop before they really get started.

"Money is emotional," she says. How we make it, how much we have, whether we're spenders or savers, how much debt we've taken on -- all of these subjects can be sensitive, which can easily lead people to avoid talking about them at all. So bringing in other people to help facilitate the conversation, whether clergy or financial professionals, can be helpful, she says.

'Marriage is a contract, like a business arrangement,' Bahar says. "There's a reason there's paperwork involved with marriage. It's a contract between two people, and that includes finances. The irony of it is how people hold that emotionally.'"

http://www.forbes.com/sites/jefflanders/2013/07/17/skittish-about-a-prenup-like-it-or-not-you-already-have-one/

"If you divorce without a prenup your assets will be divided according to the laws of your state, not according to what you believe to be right or fair."

"I’d also like to make the case that prenups are good for marriages, as well as divorces. Creating a prenup can initiate conversations with your fiancé that will set the stage for open communication about finances through all your years together. Considering how often money is cited as a cause of marital strife, this puts you way ahead of the game! In fact, thinking about what you’d do in case of divorce might help prevent your ever getting one –and perhaps that makes the 'Honey, in case we break up. . . ' conversation the most important part of your wedding plans."

Try http://www.legalzoom.com, they are reasonable.

Huh? ^^^

FH is an attorney and I am a paralegal, so we were both well aware it would be expensive. our attorneys alone (they drafted our pre-nuptial agreements, will and living trust) cost $8,000 each. However, ours are more complicated as we are older and both have multiple properties, 401(k)'s, IRA accounts, substantial savings and pension plans.

If you do decided to draft one and do it online, make sure you have an attorney review it and have it notarized.

We were thinking about doing one, got a quote through LegalZoom and it would have been at least $1000. Neither of us has much to protect in the way of assets (like, maybe 10K between us), so we thought it wasn't worth it. We were also worried about making sure it was even valid in multiple states (i.e. we were living in PA when we got married but were married in MA and now live there).

I think it might be worth going through and making a list of your and your partners' assets and having a conversation about what you want to go to who before you hire someone to do a prenup.

It's a good idea to get one. lawdept and legalzoom type sites are the easiest way

In NY, the last time i looked for a client of mine, it came to about 5000, which is peanuts when you think about what you could possibly be protecting. In their case, there was a family business at stake and the partner who wasn't part of that gained a lot of trust and goodwill from the other family by offering to do it. There was no 'contingency' plan mentality, just a clear headed thought process.

We had considered it, but in PA the law states that whatever assets are acquired before the marriage are ours to keep in the event of divorce. Whatever assets are acquired after the marriage are 50/50. That's pretty cut and dry in my opinion do we didn't peruse it.

I just have a question about getting a pre-nup not to inherit any of your spouse debt, would that be costly or should we just write a statement an get it notarized?

We are finalising ours with a lawyer today at $900 cost but with two previous houses one each that we rent out, and pensions and 401K in Texas if you divorce after 10 years and we are both 50 I have hopefully protected him for ever taking half of it. He is good with it and so am I, we also protect our current house which is in my name as i got the loan and paid the downpayment, list cars and bank accounts that cannot be touched by each other, once we are married in about 10 days time we will start up a joint accounts to pay for bills etc and once he has paid me his deposit on the house we will get the house put in both our names. Its just protects what we have both worked so hard for it things go down that road later on, in this day and age you have to protect yourself, it i die he gets everything but not if we divorce. his property is also protected for his kids at some point in time. Given the new texas laws you could face paying your spouse (spousal support for 3 years or more) he earns a lot less on paper than I do as he has his own business. if a judge looked at it they would think I had more than him and we are about the same. I dont see the harm in them if I was 20 and we both had nothing it wouldnt matter.

My husband is a Family lawyer. My advice is: if you want to do your prenuptial agreement do it with the attorney and an attorney who knows how to do it, or do not do it at all. All the online and notarized, do it your self prenap or written by the attorney who is not specializing in that particular law could be easy invalidated or argued by a good divorce attorney (if the time will come for a divorce, well the statistic is 50/50).

Good attorneys don`t necessary cost you a lot. The hardest part is to find one.

I'm sorry but this is not a legal document. I sit next to 3 loyers everyday at work and understand very well that a notary can be digitally forged. additionally, it is illegal for a single practice to offer service to both you and your wife... one of you would need to see another firm.