How much is too much for a wedding

@LB I think discussing budgets is wrong altogether. But to say "only $20k" and things of the sort sounds very pretentious. Even the title sounds bad. How much is too much? If you're not comfortable spending $60k then don't fucking spend it. There's no point in asking if it's too much.

Can I just jump in and say I really, really don't get when people say what their budget is but for some reason don't include some stuff. I mean, honeymoon I can understand because you don't HAVE to go on one. But when people are like

"My budget is X, but that doesn't include alcohol, the dress, FH's clothes or BP gifts", I am like WTF? That's all apart of the wedding. Include everything in your budget if you need it for your wedding.

How is this not always a thing?

If you can afford it without putting yourselves (or anyone else) into financial dire straights, what is there to feel guilty about?

True 60k (for some) is a down payment on a house, a new car, whatever. But if you want a 60k grandiose, kick ass party and have the means to do so, who's to stop you? Far be it from anyone to tell you how you should spend your money.

Though I will say this: why do you need validation on your budget? Sure for some 60k isn't enough, for others it's perfect or too much. There should be nothing to feel guilty about if it is completely within your means. Nor should you need validation to confirm that fact.

I really have to disagree. I have no issue with someone spending a lot of money on their wedding. If that's what someone wants to do and can comfortably afford it then go for it but here's no real question being asked here. Like, what does OP want help with? All this is is a list of people saying "this is how much I'M spending". That's why I say it's a humblebrag.

Our budget has nearly doubled since we started planning but to be honest, we kind of just picked a number randomly and had no clue what things would cost. We've decided to pass on things that seemed frivolous but are happy to spend the money on vendors that we love. We can afford it, are paying for it ourselves and have substituted other luxuries that we work hard for to be able to afford it. We love to travel and usually take a few big trips a year but this year it will be the honeymoon and the wedding. I think too much is when you start dipping into to other parts of your finances to pay for the wedding. FH and I have set amounts that we save for different goals and we're not compromising those for "a one day party".

We were going to spend too much (for us) on a venue which included nothing but the actual place. Everything else was add on, I started to feel guilty that my mom was going to pay that much anyways. I found a WAY Cheaper options so i'm holding it there now.

I wanted to spend no more than 15.. so far I'm at about 20 and it will prevent go up from there, ugh.

I think it friends on what you're comfortable with. Have the wedding you can afford so you don't get it later.

Were at 19,000 for 100 people. Its up to you about how much you want to spend.

I think we are at $50K for 225 people in downtown Minneapolis. It's just expensive to properly host that many people in a city so we had to accept that reality early on if we were going to have the wedding in the area we wanted and invite our large families.

It becomes "too much" when it's more than you can afford comfortably.

I was semi with you up until the "mind you this doesn't include x, y and z" part.

We get it- it's a lot.

Ultimately no one can decide this but you. To me that's an outrageous amount of money. But if I had the kind of money the people my husband works with in NYC- I would fucking blow 50K on a wedding to if I *could*

but I can't.

No one can make this decision but you- and honestly I have no idea what you were looking to get out of this post.

It's like asking someone what toilet paper to buy. We can all give you suggestions but ultimately you're the one stuck wiping your own ass with it- so our opinions in the long run don't matter.

I don't see her question as HUMBLEBRAG! some people honestly want to know whether or not they are doing the right thing.

That being said - 225 people is a LOT OF PEOPLE, so when you look at it, it, 28k on a venue is nothing for 225 guests.. I am having 150 and spending more than OP on my venue (that includes booze, cocktail hour,food & cake) sure, I wish I could spend less, but that is because I just really do not like spending money on something I don't use multiple times (haha!!) and neither does my man, so we're pretty much on the same level. But honestly, to me what made a huge difference was my man telling me " we will be ok". if you have both have decent/good jobs and not struggling, I'd say GO FOR IT AND ENJOY YOUR DAY! Go out there and flaunt your beautiful wedding dress, dance your ass off and love every moment of it!

good luck with whatever you deiced and keep in mind that for the amount of people you are inviting, 28K on a venue is NOTHING. Hope this makes you feel better.

My parents gave us $42k, his parents are giving up to $7k for the rehearsal dinner, and FH and I are paying the rest. We'll likely be in the $65-70k range excluding our honeymoon. Sometimes I do wish we had been more selective with our guest list (we invited 226) because we're paying $190/person, so when invitations go out I won't be too upset with some declines.

Every one of my married friends has gone well over their budget just because costs can get out of control and things come up. For instance, my friend had an outdoor wedding in April in Charleston, SC. The weather was freakishly cold for that time of year and she and her fiancé shelled out $4k in outdoor heaters for the rehearsal dinner at the very last minute.

FH and I are so thankful our parents have been very generous and that we can afford to pay for what we want on top of that. I agree with others, it only becomes "too much" when you can't afford what you're doing.

We are spending about the same. So dont feel guilty if you can you can.

First and foremost ill like to thank everyone for their comments, much appreciated. Secondly for those who think this discussion is "HUMBLEBRAG" im sorry u feel that way. My intention was not to brag about how much money im spending on my wedding. I thought this was a forum where brides could share ideas and experiences. My intent was to see if it was a normal feeling for brides to feel a certain amount of guilt on the budget for their wedding or if im the only one experiencing that. I don't mean to be bougie. We can comfortably afford it and im not here for validation. I definitely won't be sharing in the future tho

Girl, please!! do whatever you want. don't let anyone here make you feel bad for what you share what you feel like sharing. what matters is YOU, not anyone telling you you're humblebragging!!

also, I am doing something that MAY help save just a little bit of money : instead of putting extravagant center pieces on every single table, I am doing tree branches ( I love them) with some delicate flowers on them (now, they are NOT cheap!, but they're much cheaper than some extravagant centerpieces which imo are not worth it) some tables will just have lanterns and candles with some flower accents on them. my venue is gorgeous, so a little goes a long way there. If your venue is classy, id do very minimal flowers/ tree branches and use candles and lanterns instead. hope this helps.

OP, you are totally allowed to feel however you want about your budget. I felt a certain amount of guilt when DH and I were planning a big wedding. My mom was paying for everything (except the rehearsal dinner) and I didn't want to feel like I was incredibly demanding or asking too much, etc. I hope that you have a fabulous wedding!

I do feel a bit of guilt about spending so much on my wedding. But I keep trying to put it in the perspective of this being a big 'thank you' to all of our friends and family for supporting us over the years vs us spending all this money on ourselves. I know this idea is a bit of a rationalization, but it makes me feel a bit better.

Ours is going to be around $30k for 175 people. This really depends on location. We live on Long Island, NY

So when someone posts about wanting a "cheap" wedding because thats all they can afford they get their heads chopped off and you don't support them. Then we have brides who post about their high budgets and they are seen as bragging so you aren't supporting it either. There is no winning with some of you. If someone wants to share their budget on a WEDDING forum then so be it. Because this indeed is a WEDDING FORUM where brides/grooms post about their WEDDINGS.

@OP - if you can afford a high budget wedding then absolutely do it and don't feel guilty. It is normal to feel guilty for spending a lot of money on something but if it is not going to financially hurt you -- then go for it. I wish my budget was higher but I will make do with what I have. Don't let others make you feel bad.

I think everyone feels a certain amount of guilt over the amount of money they spent if they throw anything resembling a traditional wedding.

no matter what your budget is- it winds up being a significant chunk of change in relation to your income/means.

And if it ISN'T- (meaning they make a significant amount more or live well below their means and consciously chose to spend a smaller amount) - odds are they are extremely frugal and conservative and the thought of spending that much on a party is still a bit to swallow.

You're throwing money at a party- one of the reasons this is such a big deal is most people don't throw parties of this magnitude regularly. So- yes- feeling some type of way about it is very normal I'd say.