How to ask for guests to contribute to Bachelor & Bachelorette party

I would personally stay away from the donation board. If people offer to pay their share, such as the 1 person, great. I don't think you should bring it up to others though, especially if they will only find out the day of. A "donation" usually feels like a requirement and some people may not attend if they knew they had to pay because they do not have the finances.

I think people may contribute out of the kindness of their own hearts. However, I don't think I would be happy if I thought this was paid for by the couple and when I got to the spa I had to pay myself. I mean, they might not necessarily think its going to be free for them, so they may be prepared to pay but without being explicit from the beginning they may think that this is their thank you for the aforementioned costs of being in the wedding. Maybe you could look at this like their thank you gift and not give them physical gifts for being in the wedding party. It's a little late now, but you could ask each person to bring a dish, snack, alcohol, cutlery, plates, etc to contribute. My mom goes away with her friends a lot and they all bring stuff. Good luck! Enjoy yourself no matter what.

I think it's WAAAY too late to ask people to chip in. This sounds like a pretty extravagant weekend that you and FH planned and invited people to. From the way you've described it, when invited, I would definitely have been under the assumption that you were hosting/paying for it. Especially with the expenses of participating in your DW, unless your friends are in a very high income bracket with lots of disposable income they don't mind spending on things like a friend's international wedding, you've already asked a lot of them in terms of wedding-related expenses. The fact that you've planned another, completely optional, party for yourselves and it's put you over budget is not the guests' responsibility. I would not in any way "suggest" guests contribute, and, honestly, at this point, if a couple people offer to pay, I'd probably decline because that might make others feel pressured to do so. It sounds like an awesome weekend, but I think the cost is on you and FH.

No. You don't get to plan an elaborate, expensive, bachelorette party for yourself then ask your bridal party (who is already taking on a huge expense to participate in your wedding) to pay for the plans that you made. You're going to have to take the loss here.

So if you planned it and they were okay with it under the original assumption that you both were paying for it I would probably say that they would feel put off to be paying when they get there. They might choose to pay for food since you both paid for everything else but you never know. I picked my own group bridal party trip to Vegas. But we never told our bridal party it was a free trip to them. We are paying a portion of their trip. We would really like everyone to attend, but if they cannot because it is pricier than the average bachelor/bachelorette trip then that is okay too. We would do something else back home with anyone who can't go. But for the most part it was a discussion with everyone and asking if it was something they wanted to do, and majority said yes. I wouldn't ask for donations cuz that seems odd. Hopefully you have kind friends that will chip in!

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I so second this!

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Same thought here.

I think that asking people the day of to pay for something is going to cause a problem. That is something you should have stated from the beginning. I mean we know everyone is smart enough to travel with money, but what if they don't have it. I don't think putting a random board up in the house is a great idea either... If anything I would find a cute way to ask does anyone want to contribute to the party, but no requirements. Its too late for that. Plus like you said they paid for the normal wedding stuff, and international flight tickets, taking off of work. I think you should have just left the party alone. But since you are here now what is wrong with a weekend getaway at the AirBNB... Pool party, barbeque just friend time. Take out the wine tasting and the spa. The thought is amazing but if you don't have it why stretch yourself. Lay back and relax at the house with your friends and make memories that don't cost money. Good luck

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I am sorry but I agree with this also. The bachelor, bachelorette parties is something normally the MOH and Best Man plan because they speak with everyone first to see how everyone feels and are they able to afford it. But you cant plan something this amazing and leave everyone think that it is a gift for them, and the DAY OF ( that's the big thing its no prewarning) let them know they have to pay.... You give ppl that option in advance in case they say you know what I don't have the funds and if I cant participate in everything I don't want to go. Cause I feel that way if we have an itinerary of things I want to participate in everything, and you not saying anything until they get to the interest we would have a problem....

I would be so pissed If I was told that everything was paid for and then that day I randomly needed to pay for it myself. The fact the your bridal party was kind enough to drop a good amount of money just to celebrate you're big day is HUGE. You and your FH being ill prepared should not be there problem to solve. You said you're nervous about seeing your friends with sad faces, but if you screw them over like that you're more than likely going to see pissed faces.

Tacky! Have a wedding you can afford!

Thank you all for the replies! Last night it was middle of night I probably wasn’t thinking straight, or under the impression that we should ask for help since most of the bachelor party was split by guests, or because we don’t have registry so it’s okay to ask... But some of you pointed right, every wedding is different and in our case we were thinking to throw a mini wedding with friends and it’s more important to just celebrate together. Financially we are good like I said probably got a little greedy thinking what if we can get away paying less. Which at this point it’s cleared that we should just go ahead enjoy ourselves. I did got messages today from more guests that offered to help out with money but overall I think it’s not a big deal and “on the day of” situation is really something nobody wants to be surprised of. Thx