How to ask in laws if they’re contributing

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Yup, if she’s mentioned it that does change things a bit - I think this is a really good way to phrase it.

This is a completely different thing. If she brought up that she is interested in doing it, herself, then it is fine.
I know if I offer to give a shower or party, then shortly after the engagement (if under a year) or at the 9-12 months out when things are being discussed, I will make the offer. So the bride knows, someone really us doing it, estimated numbers, and approximate month of party, then what month I or co-hostess and I , expect to start planning. Often, for RD, only 3 months before the wedding, or even closer for 20-30 people. If your mom wants a restaurant or catered thing, except for Thanksgiving to New Year's, small rooms and places usually will not reserve a day for a group under 40 before 4 months out. Sept or after, for your January wedding. So knowing that, she may plan to do it next fall. This would be way too soon for her to even think about specific plans. Likely why she has not mentioned it since. You might want to let guest list and Covid things settle a bit . But July or August, bring it up . By then, you will mostly likely know if you are having a rehearsal, or not. And when, roughly. Most churches do them when the sanctuary and clergy are available, not the day before the wedding, but often a weekday up to 2 weeks earlier. Non religious Venues set special times, as they cannot do it while rooms are in use. It is only when using a hotel, or from out of town, that most people do the RD the night before the wedding. If the actual rehearsal is wed 9am or Monday 7:30 pm, or other time where the dinner would be inconvenient to follow, and many will not be there, then usually ( long history, not just recent) a thank you dinner for WP/ RD may be held in one of the two weeks before. It only has to follow the usually half hour rehearsal if people have to travel an hour or so, or are coming from work and will miss dinner. Local weddings with only local people at the rehearsal, it may be only 5-6 of you can make it, and it would be inconvenient for their SO or spouse.** So people run out for an hour, have their own dinner that night. ........... Come July or August, you may have some idea, and say to MIL, we are beginning to set dates for things near the wedding. Are you still interested in doing, or helping with, the rehearsal dinner? And see what she says. That gives you months before Oct, the earliest you need to even think about it, if you end up planning it.
** The only essential, must have people at a rehearsal, are the officiant and the couple, and any musician. Others, the couple can fill in. So often, people will not take off work, or travel more than a half hour, to attend. But they may come to an RD scheduled over one of the weekends before. Why you never plan too early . And while most people have parents, and wedding party and SO/spouse, it is your choice beyond that, siblings, grandparents, a few people who traveled a long distance. So how can anyone budget this far out, or plan, til you have word on when or if you get a rehearsal time, and who could likely attend RD?

Don't ask. As an adult, when you get married, it's your responsibility to finance your wedding. Yes, there's 'tradition' of the bride's parents paying for the wedding and the groom's parents are to take care of the rehearsal dinner but the reality is, neither set of parents arranged your marriage so they shouldn't be financially responsible for your adult decisions. Our parents have their own set of financial obligations and it's not okay to push additional obligations their way, assuming they can handle it. If they don't volunteer, never ask. My brother is engaged to a woman who is the only child and grew up very well off. The place they've chosen for the rehearsal dinner is around $80/person, excluding bottles of champagne for the toast. Her mother had the nerve to call my mom and ask my mother and father if they planned to pay for the dinner. Well, my parents planned on paying but they didn't expect such an expensive rehearsal dinner with nearly 30 people, assuming a total of $2,800 (including gratuity). I told my mom to tell her they'll give a set dollar amount and nothing more. I'm so passionate about this subject b/c I feel my parents shouldn't be obligated. My fiance' and I are not asking our parents to pay for anything. We're financing everything on our own. My parents have volunteered to pay for the food at our reception and that's it; I declined b/c I know my fiance' and I can afford it on our own. I never asked anyone for help.