How to ask people to attend both ceremony and reception??

View Quoted Comment

I second this. I did an online RSVP and had people RSVP for both the ceremony and reception. I'm sure this can also be done if you're doing physical RSVP cards too.

Although I suppose some people might have the balls to RSVP for just one... but at least you'll know who these people are. I can't imagine people only showing up for the reception though! How rude!

It may be rude to add that to your invitations but it's also rude of people to show up to the reception without coming to the wedding. Especially 90% of them. I say go for it, say it. But also idc about being rude so maybe don't take my advice lol.

On my invitations I just listed the ceremony start time and then put at the end “reception to follow” so I guess if people wanted to skip the ceremony, they wouldn’t know what time to arrive for dinner? (Our ceremony is only 30 minutes) but still.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! That’s a great idea!!

View Quoted Comment ILife this idea thank you!!

View Quoted Comment I love* this idea!

View Quoted Comment I kind of don’t mind being rude because I feel like it is rude to just show up for food and drinks and not the whole reason we’re celebrating!

View Quoted Comment Thank you that’s an awesome idea!!

"Reception to follow" seems like a great way to word the invites.

We have a wedding to attend next month. Wedding starts at 2pm, location is 30 minutes from our home. Reception starts at 5pm and is another 30 minutes farther. It is a Catholic ceremony, so it will probably be 1 hour long, but still, what are we supposed to do for the next 2 hours? We will have no time to go back home. If we drive straight to the reception, we will have 1.5 hours to kill. I HATE THIS!! So in this instance, we are probably skipping the ceremony. If you don't keep your guests entertained from beginning to end, what do you expect them to do?? I don't care if you want 3 hours for pictures, go you. Just give the guests a place with food, drink, a chair and air conditioner and take your sweet time. But to be like "You're on your own for 2 hours. Good luck." is just so rude to me. That is when ceremonies are skipped and I don't think you could be mad about it.

I agree with what you’re saying, but unfortunately it’s one of those catch 22 situations where then it reflects poorly on you to put that on the invite (eyeroll). On the flip side I’ve known people who couldn’t get out of work to attend an afternoon ceremony on a Friday but still attended the wedding. To minimize the number of people who may attend just the reception (Ex: people who just wanna skip the ceremony OR have other commitments in the afternoon) maybe try minimizing the amount of time between the ceremony and reception. Or have both in the same location. My ceremony is at 4:30 and the reception begins immediately afterwards in the next room over. So I’m hoping people will see 4:30 and stick to showing up then. Good luck!

View Quoted Comment Are you having a gap or is the reception right after at the same venue? If it's the latter, this totally works. If it's the former, you need to give more information about the reception than "reception to follow".

View Quoted Comment

Agreed.

Our ceremony, cocktail hour and reception were all at the same place, one after the other. MIL asked what time the cocktail hour and reception started b/c some of her family might skip the ceremony and wanted to know when to be there. So I said "ceremony starts at 5pm and cocktail hour and reception are immediately following the ceremony" I wasn't about to give a time so people could purposefully miss the ceremony. The reception is to HOST those that attended the ceremony and thank them for coming.

Now, while I say that, I have missed a ceremony that was at 11am and the reception was at 6pm. I lived two hours away and had moved 1,000 miles the week before and didn't even have furniture (I packed my dress I was wearing just so I could attend). The bride actually went out of her way to tell me it's okay if I skipped their ceremony. I'm normally a stickler about skipping ceremonies and attending receptions, but only if there isn't a big gap. If there's a big gap, you just run that risk.

Yeah.. I'm with everyone else. I don't see a way around this. There's no need to RSVP to the ceremony because you aren't paying per person. Things come up and people might be late. Instead of walking in mid-vow, they might just meet you at the reception. It is what it is. If they show up regardless, they are there to celebrate you. My FH was 45 mins late to a wedding once and took a seat like it was nothing... don't make your guests be THAT person lol

I agree with everyone above. Unfortunately you can't control how other people behave. It's sad and super disrespectful but there's no way of wording it without sounding rude.

If this is happening that often at both friends' and family members' weddings there is clearly something else at play - a 10% attendance rate at the ceremony is shockingly low and not remotely in the realm of normal. Was there a huge gap between the ceremony and reception? Are you sure everyone was actually invited to the ceremony in these instances? Was the ceremony on a different day than the reception? Was the ceremony badly hosted in some way, e.g. no seating, outdoor in 100 degree weather, 2 hours long, etc? Was it on a weekday during the daytime? Was it at crack of dawn?

Bride wanting the same thing here! My mom had 2 good ideas that I love-
1. State on the invitation the bride and groom encourage everyone to attend the ceremony and will have a cocktail hour at the reception location while pictures are being taken. If you cannot make the ceremony or if a conflict comes up, please call or text the Bride or Maid of Honor. We appreciate everyones excitement to celebrate the Sacrament of Marriage and Holy Union under God (we are Eastern Orthodox)
2. At the ceremony, give the people who show up a small card with their table number on it. It will have their table number and it will say “Please return to [name] at the reception.” That’s their in essence Golden ticket to the reception. My cousin will have a list of approved people who couldn’t make the ceremony for legitimate reasons (flight delayed, kids sick, ext) and anyone else who shows up without a card will be asked to contact the bride or maid of honor but will not be given a seating assignment until they get approval from me or my soon to be husband. We will send people home.
My fiancé and I though aren’t big into family politics and we agreed we are choosing violence for our wedding lol. Not inviting people we don’t want. We’re getting shirts made that say “I wore white to someones wedding” or “I did not follow the dress code” (wedding is semi formal if you show up in jeans your getting a shirt) with “I’m an a**hole” on the back. This is our wedding, our rules and our boundaries and if people don’t like or can’t respect that they can leave.
But that’s just us. I hope that helps 😊

I don't think there is a polite way to say that. Sometimes people skip the ceremony if its on work day ie 5pm on a Friday, if there's a big gap between to the 2, or a large distance between the ceremony location and reception location. I went to a wedding a pre-covid in the summer the church was in LI and the reception was in Brooklyn went to both but sat in hours of traffic. Honestly the only person I really care comes to the ceremony is my groom hahaha I only have eyes for him in that moment (shhh don't tell my guests )

Looking at it from the perspective of both a bride and a guest, this would boggle my mind. It’s really only been post-Covid that the trend of inviting people to the reception only has been a thing. Even then it catches people off guard. Some say that “it’s ok because everyone is doing it” at the same time that other people don’t share that belief and are expected to “get modern”. In our social circles and families, being invited to the reception only or the guest choosing to attend only half of the day would never fly. Attending (and rsvp’ing to) both seems like a given so you really should not have to ask anyone to do so.


The best way to prevent guests from only showing up to half of the day is have the ceremony and reception at the same venue with no gap between. If you must have them at separate venues for religious reasons, get a blank slate venue that has no time restrictions of when you can start (which all-inclusive venues do have the restrictions) and that eliminates any gap between them beyond driving time.

There are ppl who also may have to work and can only attend 1 or neither. And no there isn't a kinder way of saying that but as long as they are with guys is what really matter.