How to back out of a bachelorette party?

My best friend and maid of honor told me after i booked my flight that she couldn't go after 5 months of talking about and no indication she wouldn't be able to go. Time & Honesty will be in your favor.

I think what's really bothering me the most about this is, she has judged me for my parenting decision. My other friend, the only local one with a baby, Ferberized her baby at 9 months and she also doesn't understand my desire to avoid overnights until my baby is weaned. It's pretty lonely being the only one in this situation, where I need to be with baby for bedtime at 9 pm every night. We could steps to train baby to enjoy daddy's presence at that hour but it is just so much work and at the end of the day I jsut want to chill and not "train" the baby on anything (ie, listen to him scream).

I think you should still provide your portion financially

Yeah, this is the type of parenting that really makes me not want to have kids. But anyways... to your actual problem. You are not the first or last to skip on a bachelorette/night out for motherhood. Your friends should understand, just say it like it is, own it. I've had many friends give me this excuse through out adulthood and while I can't imagine doing so myself I do respect their parenting style. Plus it is a lot of money to go for 1 night.

Op, your guess on why she doesn't like you is probably a poor one. Not all singles are jealous of us marrieds and not everyone wants kids. Sometimes people just don't like you. Growing up, our parents told us if a kid didn't like us or was mean to us then it was because he/she was jealous. That was just to make you feel better. Sometimes people are just assholes who like you for no reason, or maybe they have a reason and that reason is that they just don't like you.

I would totally understand the issue with leaving the baby. That really is hard, and I totally get it. Buuuut it kinda sounds like you would've been relatively ok with things had this party planner not been a bitch to you. Do you have reason to believe the bride is feeling that way too?

I'd say you have every right not to go, but if it truly is more of being mad at the party planner, I'd kinda just make it work.

Exactly -- I WAS *genuinely* excited for this party (for the day trip I was going to make) -- I was joining in the jokes on the group email, suggesting we all buy matching beach wear, planning to have a drink on my first baby-free flight (!), yadda yadda, and then I hear about this shit talking that's been going on behind my back and hell no I am no longer interested in going. The bride has expressed concerns that the bitch planner (her good friend) has been dictatorial in planning (such is her very aggressive personality), so she has an idea of what's up. I've decided to tell the bride I'll take her out to the nicest restaurant in town. And anyway, she's spent so much time caring for her (now dependent) mom that she understands what its like not to want to leave behind someone for whom you're a caregiver -- so the issue of me not staying overnight has never seemed to bother her. I probably won't mention the bitch's comments about me to the bride -- I'll just tell her the logistics of a delayed flight are worrying me and I'd rather have quality one on one time with her in an extravagant setting.

Op, also the amount of times you refer to this woman as "bitch" is off putting and hostile. If you're coming across like that to an anonymous internet stranger (who is, to be honest, not put off by much) than I guarantee you that some of that is coming across to the woman you feel is being a "bitch party planner" Which might be a reason she's being hostile back

I would just talk to the bride. One of my bridesmaids had to back out of my bach weekend and was completely honest. There were no hard feelings.

It kiiiiiinda sounds like you are not going so you can stick it to this woman that you don't like but either way, you haven't put anyone else in a bad situation financially and you are going to treat the bride. I would politely back out but try to put aside your feelings towards the party planner for the bride's sake going forward.

Well that is part of it -- but mostly I don't want to spend a $500 day getting digs from her. She can really be a bitch! And I'm not confrontational and would just laugh it all off while silently feeling hurt. So, yeah, that's a no.