Most women have to deal with their MIL. I'm lucky I don't have that but I do have that in a future SIL. FH is 2 years younger than I am and his older sister is 1 year older than him. I'm older than both of them but I don't believe in flexing this kind of authoritarian attitude bc I'm older - she seems to do that.
Future SIL and I never had a good relationship. Through the years, she was always domineering, excluding me, passive-aggressive bullying me and it wasn't until I got the ring was when she was "decent" towards me. She gets jealous easily (in general) and always wants to be the center of attention (she's not an attention w----; she's is entitled to being the center of attention, if that makes sense). She has the "me, me, me" attitude; it’s not attention-seeking, it’s attention-entitled. She told me that i looked desperate because I was with her brother for years and I was not yet engaged. She also told me, "don't tell my brother I told you all this." SMH (of course I told him).
She just had a baby earlier this year and we're doing our best to spend time with her but plan for our wedding at the same time but with her entitled ways, she is so demanding. She expects us to see her multiple times a week. She looked down on Catholicism (even though she grew up a Catholic). Now that we're having a Catholic wedding, she wants her baby baptized, even though she's not longer part of the church. FH and I are very low key - we don't need attention but she tends to be fueled when she hears our wedding stuff and fights back with, "oh yeah, my baby's church plans...". When she hears reception stuff, she gets back with, "my baby's 1st birthday!"
She texted everyone in the family trying to get us schedule pictures with her baby in NOVEMBER for Christmas pictures. It is July. Last time she had us take pictures "for fun" in a studio with the whole family. We literally waited there for 2 hours and it took 5 minutes to shoot. All. For. Her. Baby.
I finally get FH to start planning with me. We're at a cafe and she facetimes him using the baby as bait, speaking in the baby's voice saying, "you didn't visit me at all last weekend!". She does this all the time. We'll be at an event altogether - she needs to leave with the baby. We're at the restaurant with other people and she facetimes him with the baby there, knowing full well that we'll be socializing with other people. She wants him over at her house all the time but there's so much we have to do. Also - we're both very independent people (with our own lives, responsibilities) and I am NOT someone who is attached to his hip. Yuck. I just find it annoying how possessive she is of him. She already has a husband to boss around and control. Here's the thing - I would tolerate her attention-entitled ways if she wasn't such a mean and possessive b. When she factimes my Fh (with her baby), he always shows me on there and she's surprised that I'm with him and then gets into an attitude after.
HELP. FH has talked to her in the past but like he said, "she's never going to change". She's not going to get a self-esteem overnight. I made a mistake years ago to be on her side but she threw me under the bus (put me down to raise herself up in front of her cousins). This is going to be one of our ongoing fights throughout our marriage.
