How to deal with a pushy person?

Annnd of course- I say "Fine, I will have 2 FGs" Then a few weeks ago she asks me if I'm going to invite her mother so she will have a BABYSITTER for the night of the wedding??? OMG, what is wrong with this girl?? I said "Umm, no sorry" And NO this girl is NOT in the wedding- not a bridesmaid, nothing. But she HATES the fact that she's not part of the wedding party.

Fast forward yesterday was my bridal shower- of course she's all up in there trying to TAKE CONTROL and be the LEADER!!! Asking me a thousand questions, like "okay so this day I'm gonna do this and what are you gonna do for this or that.."etc. I get it, she wants to help but it's all coming out the wrong way. She even told me when she left " So the night before the wedding I'M going to share a room with you and your bridemaids and I'm going to send my kids off with my husband" WWWHHHATTTT??? How can I tell her to take a step back without being TOO mean?? I feel bad because I know she's just trying to help

But this is WAY too much and gone way to far. It's stressing me out ... I can just picture my rehearsal- she will be trying to dictate and run the show AND the day of the wedding!! Please help, I think I've gotten myself in a bad spot by not saying anything sooner ...

Even my MOH and BMs feel like their toes are being stepped on! :/

I'm sorry but you just have to be blunt and straight forward. She is waaaay overstepping and needs to be told so. I dont think there is anyway to do this without hurting her feelings but it needs to be done. And I'm sorry, you really should NOT have included her daughter if you didnt want her there. It's just letting her be more involved. =\

Good luck! I know this is a hard thing to do (I'm SO not confrontational so I could only imagine), but I think it really needs to be done so you won't have that added stress during an already stressful time. =]

This is a horrible idea but I figured I'd put it out there... Are your BM's friends with this lady? You could always kind of bring it up like "well so and so feels like they're getting their toes stepped on and I think it would be best if you could back up a bit to keep the peace" or something like that. =\ Just a thought that jumped in my head.

Anyway you tell her, it needs to be done, and most likely feelings will get hurt.

Actually, Sarah, I was thinking just the same thing--let the bridesmaids' chagrin do the confronting for you. It probably was good to include both daughters, but now it's time to draw some lines. Thank her for her help and give her a gentle shove.

How come no one has spoken to her husband? Are you even inviting them to the rehearsal dinner? I wouldn't... And when it comes to staying in the hotel room- Sorry, that's not an option. There are only so many beds, and she needs to be with her daughter.

It's time to tell her you appreciate the help, but you've got things under control. Everyone knows what they are doing and what their roles are. She can just relax and enjoy the event!

Sarah- It's funny you say that because I was talking to my MOH (which is my cousin and her SIL) and I was thinking of telling her that she is feels uncomfortable and feels like her toes are being stepped on. My MOH said she feels like she's not doing enough or feels like what she's doing isn't good enough because the cousins wife is CONSTANTLY asking her ," Oh did you do this yet? How about that? Do you know what shes doing for this, that the other thing" etc. Like being overbearing. And I feel for my MOH, so I really do need to say something. This is totally out of control

Meghan- No can can talk to the husband. Let's just say basically SHE runs HIM, she's controlling. So talking to him would be pointless, it would start an argument between them indefinitely. And with the whole hotel thing- I will say to her that I want that night to be with my girls (aka bridal party).

I guess I'm just horrible at saying no to peoples faces when I'm put on the spot like that :/

I would just say no and then refuse to engage. Pushy people will try and drag you into an argument, knowing that most people hate confrontation and will give in just to end the conversation.

So, memorize this phrase: "I'm sorry, but that won't be possible." Over and done. Also, "I appreciate the offer, but my bridesmaids have been very excited about helping me with (x) and I'd hate to take that away from them."

Whatever you do, don't argue, and don't give in.

I agree with Shannon. People need to accept No without an explanation that is not owed. I wouldnt have let it get that far but then again, i dont handle pushy people too well