How to deal with finace’s family who doesn’t approve of our decision to get married?

You don't have to justify your decision to anyone, family or not. Everyone likes to give their opinions on marriage, especially young marriage. I've come to find that those who have been divorced once or twice usually have the most to say and it generally isn't the nicest. DH and I are both 22 and we had our fair share of negative comments, some due to our age and some not. All you can do and should do is ignore it. If the date on your profile is right, you have a while until you'll have to send invitations. If these people are still being negative when it's time to mail out invitations, I wouldn't invite them. Family or not, toxic is toxic and that negativity shouldn't be anywhere near the two of you on your wedding. I'm hoping that these are just bitter divorced people who are running their mouths and will eventually get over themselves and be happy for the two of you if they actually care about you and your fiancé. Otherwise, you're both better off without them. Please don't ever feel like you have to defend your decision to get married, it is no one else's business besides you and your fiancé. Best of luck to you both, keep your heads up!

Just tell them, "I understand your concerns, but this is what we both want. We would like it if you are able to love and support us at our wedding and as a new family going forward, but if you can't accept this then so be it." Then try your very hardest to ignore the negative family members and plan the wedding of your dreams!!

You shouldn’t and don’t have to justify your decision to anyone. My husband and I met at 19/21, engaged at 21/23, married at 22/24. People said we were “too young” though honestly that’s BS to me because from what I’ve seen, my grandparents got married at 19/24 and have been happily married for 60+ years, and my parents got married at 30/31 and are divorced.


Now, if you were both 18 or 19 and had been together 6 months or something, I’d probably say you’re too young and you’re rushing things. But you’ve been together 5 years and are in your 20s..... that seems like a totally reasonable time to get married?

People will always judge and have opinions no matter what. If you waited another 5 years until you were 26 then they’d probably give you crap for waiting too long to get married (“you’ve been together 10 years why aren’t you married yet?!”) there’s no way to win. You just have to learn to shrug it off and not care what they think.

Some families are just this way. I think it depends on how you two feel. It sounds like you were raised to “stick it out “ when things get tough. And his family sounds like they have relied on divorce as an out.
I think the conversation between you and your fiancé needs to confront these thoughts that family keeps imposing. And if at the end of that both of you are on the same side, who cares what anyone thinks.

You don't need their approval. I know it hurts because it was the same on my husbands side of the family. They didn't like me for a while and said I pulled him away from them. As long as you and you FH are happy and are on the same page about marriage and your future together that's all that matters. Try not to let them bring you down.