How to decline bachelorette party invite after confirmation ?

I would just say "Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it since the party is no longer within my budget." I definitely wouldn't take it out on the bride though. It's not her responsibility to plan or invite you to the bachelorette party.

"Because of the changes you made to the plans for the evening, I won't be able to attend anymore. Have a great time."

I'm a big believer in not giving reasons why something can't be done for social situations. Others try to problems solve, and then things can get needlessly dramatic.

I would just be truthful that it's no longer within your budget. A $500 swing is a big deal and I am guessing you might not be the only person feeling this way.

View Quoted Comment Exactly this.

Say something along the lines of: "I was on board with the original plan of going to the night club, but these added expenses are not in my budget and I will not longer be able to attend."

Say exactly what PPs are saying . "Those changes to the plans sound really fun but now the party is unfortunately out of my budget :/ I'm sorry I can't go anymore. You guys have fun!"

Thank you ladies ! If it was $100 +, - than fine .. but this is not the case... and I don't feel like discussing all these things with other girls. I mean, isn't the whole point of bachelorette party is to get ALL friends together and have fun ?! And I think the bride and the girl who is in charge of organization should be mindful with expenses and understand that everyone has a different budget, and not just put people on spot like this .. yes, I get it that people want to celebrate it nicely, but if it was my party I would care more of the idea that everyone could attend and not about the fancy restaurants . Right now, it would be way too obvious that I am canceling it because of the money but " oh , well .. "

View Quoted Comment

It's really not the bride's responsibility, it's whoever is hosting it. You should have definitely been consulted about your budget and the person is 100% in the wrong. But It's not the bride's responsibility to be mindful because she might not even know what's in store.

View Quoted Comment Oh got it .. it’s just basically we were all added to the group chat by the person who organizes it and from the beginning she said nightclub so we all agreed and I thought that we’re all set but later she wrote down an idea with restaurant and hotel .. and since some girls didn’t mind I didn’t feel like speaking up and saying something “ oh I won’t go to the restaurant or do this “ so they have added the dinner ( which was already a little bit out of my budget cause it is really upscale place ) later there was an idea to get an expensive gift from all of us but for that I’ve offered that everyone buy their own gift for the bride , so other girls agreed but now the hotel part came up , I thought that we will all stay at bride”s house or that she invites everyone to her hotel room that she already booked but it turned out not to be the case , I assume that now I need either to get my own hotel or share the expenses for the bride”s hotel or even end up booking the suite with others .. so yeah, I’m basically screwed in this situation but I don’t feel like speaking up again and say that let”s not spend more money .. because it will make me look cheap , since other girls don’t mind paying more and two girls that were on a same boat as me had declined the invitation from the beginning so it least it didn’t t look so obvious that they can’t afford as in my case now

View Quoted Comment

You honestly won't look cheap. Well - I can't speak for other people, but they definitely increased the cost astronomically. It's okay that you can't afford it - I wouldn't be able to either.

I would message the organizer privately and let her know that when you accepted the invite, it was for a $200 fun night out. A $700 bach weekend is not was you RSVP'd for. If you want to be petty you could also say something along the lines of "If you organize events like these in the future, it's really best practice to ask each attendee privately about their budget and work from there." You being afraid to speak up because you seem like the only one happens all the time - no one wants to seem cheap or like a buzz kill, but it's important to be honest about your budget and it's important for MOHs or whoever is organizing the event to be honoring and respectful to those invited.

Be honest and understanding and state as everyone says unfortunately I will not be able to attend as financially it is not within my budget. If they do not care and get upset then I am sorry that is selfish on their part as people do NOT have the same situations. If they are real friends they would understand. I was a bridesmaid to my best friends wedding her and her family have a family who is very well off and I on the other hand take care of my parents mostly and have a kid with my fiance. I declined what they wanted to do and stated the same I actually was 1 of 3 who declined due to budgeting so they understood and changed it up for all of us to enjoy. My cousin got married as well and had a bachlorette party in Vegas. I was down for the count until all the luxury spas shopping and luxury restaurants were thrown in. I stated the same and she understood she was sad but understood my financial situation and that was that. I regret missing it as she is my little sister but they have to understood financially people are not the same and it is not fair to you. Be honest with her and the bride, like I said personally if they do not agree or get upset. Why are they even your friend?

I would just call/text the planner and let her know you can't afford it. I'd just say you are totally up for the original plan (or just going to dinner or something) but you won't be able to participate in the full night.

View Quoted Comment

The bride doesn't plan her own bachelorette party, the MOH and bridesmaids do. Also, it can get tricky trying to make plans that cater to every person going to the event. Maybe you could just go for a portion of the evening? Typically, bachelorette parties are only for the bride and the bridesmaids, but recent trends have been to include people beyond the bridal party. It sucks that whoever was planning the party didn't give you a heads up in regard to the changes, but it's a bit unfair for you to ask that the party be planned towards you and other people vs towards what the bride would want. It's not your bachelorette party. if you are unable to go due to budget constraints, I'm sure the bride will be understanding.

View Quoted Comment The funny thing is that we’re all good friends but she didn’t ask me to be her bridesmaid, but I did get an invite for the bachelorette party from my other friend. So far, I’m not sure if she has any official bridesmaids but what bothers me is that the bride discusses all those plans with the main friend who organizes the party , but dont talk to me .. so I’m starting to question even if I should go there, I feel like “ whatever friend “ lol .

View Quoted Comment

I wouldn't take it that way!... My MOH asked me for a list of girls to attend the B party, I gave it to her. Nothing else has been in my control. Including the fact that there won't be one. Like PP's have said, the MOH or BM plans it. Sounds like you now know who the MOH is!

View Quoted Comment I see .. it’s just from my last b party (that I’ve attended) the bride herself was very proactive and she personally made sure that all girls get together as for the GNO but with this friend I guess it’s different

"I'm sorry, this is out of my budget. I will not be able to go"

That's all you need to say.

View Quoted Comment Thank you ladies for all your comments and advice

I agree with what has already been suggested here. That is a huge increase in cost from what you said you could do to what it is now. The funny thing is I bet if you had spoken up in the group chat and protested the additional increase in cost, others would have followed your lead. Often times people give in to peer pressure and don't want to seem "cheap" so are hesitant to say anything.

View Quoted Comment Yes but I don’t want to look like the only one who always protests lol cause when we were choosing the club I was the one who suggested for mid price but it was a good package , etc. also , I was the one who supported the other girl and offered to not to buy an additional big gift for the bride and now I don’t want to be the one again who suggests a different restaurant lol if people don’t get the hint than fine but it just they could of think about themselves not all girls are really close friends or know the bride forever , so even them why they have to go up and beyond and spend so much money for the party , in my case I’m fine to choose something fancy and luxury but it has to be one thing , not like 3+ .. plus this hotel part is still unclear yes the bride got it covered and we’re all invited but what if by the end of the night someone would say the bride is not supposed to pay let’s split the cost ?!