How to handle guests who didn’t gift?

View Quoted Comment It’s so funny you say that, I read that some where too and thought to myself “wait really? I thought if you showed up you get a card regardless!”. But seeing it from the other point of view in case it gets taken the not so nice way was really eye opening. The things we learn!

View Quoted Comment Yes. Do I still send one?

View Quoted Comment Neither of the couples attended my shower, lol.

I am not sure if I am reading the comments correctly. It is common practice that if you attend a wedding you gift. If the bride and groom are registered then you purchase something off the list if you can afford to buy anything then a card would be great $5-$10 is not much to ask for. A wedding is not expensive to attend unless you are traveling or paying for lodging. No, you do not invite people only for a gift but it is an expectation.

View Quoted Comment I was under the same assumption. We didn’t even get a card from the one couple, which boggled our brains. It’s not that they couldn’t afford it, either. They bought us a bottle of wine for our house warming parting, so it was confusing to not see anything from them.

Maybe you will get a gift from them in the near future when they have money or maybe they just don't give gifts

I feel some way about people no gifting. You depend money to have a celebration an think enough of them to invite th ed m. The least they could do is buy a 25 dollar gift card or something

Wedding gifts are NOT mandatory! They are optional.

View Quoted Comment We have a large guest list I am not expecting a gift from. I am fine with that. Just send a thank you card for them coming.

Wow I guess my FH and I r different. We have no need for gifts nor do we want them. Its not at all what we r having this wedding for. We r making a small registry of some inexpensive gadgets with pampered chef so if someone insists on gift giving we can tell them something. We r not volunteering the registry or putting it on our website. This is our wedding not a birthday party. We have no problem hosting our friends and family for as little expense to them as possible. We dont want anything in return from our guests, they owe us nothing but their love and support on our day.

As others said time, presence and money is your gift.

View Quoted Comment Very well put

Be appreciative that they took time out of their life to come to your wedding. Weddings aren’t about presents and they aren’t required.

There’s no rule that says you have to bring a gift. It’s just custom. And it’s a custom that has gotten quite out of hand. I’ve seen people roll up to weddings with an envelope full of cash. Then once they see the dinner, they take cash out as they didn’t feel like their dinner cost as much as they brought. I typically gift the same amount to every wedding I go to, it’s generous and it’s decided before I see what their wedding is like. Too many people are so strict on that “it should cover your dinner” rule.

We actually don’t want gifts at our wedding, we just want the people. I know a few people will still insist on bringing a gift and that’s lovely of them. But we’ve tried to spread the word as politely as possible.

I think the best thing to do is to send everyone a thank you card. If they didn’t bring a gift, then you thank them for coming and let them know how much it mean to you that they shared your special day with you.

View Quoted Comment Buying an outfit, getting a babysitter, paying for an Uber, getting a hotel room, buying a plane ticket, and renting a car are all common things for guests of weddings and add up quickly. Not to mention showers and bachelor/bachelorette parties. I usually spend thousands on each wedding I go to between all of those things. So I disagree with weddings are not expensive to attend.

This must be a demographic’s thing. I have been to loads of weddings and not brought gifts. I have seen tons of people go to weddings and not bring gifts and I have never thought anything about it! However, I also never went to a wedding shower empty handed. I don’t think you should ever invite people with intentions of just getting gifts? It’s about the union of two people who love one another and they are inviting others to come help celebrate. Them coming is a gift in itself! I would never think “well so and so didn’t get us a gift??” I think that’s absurd.

View Quoted Comment I agree 100% with this !

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*shrug* All of my friends wrote me thank-you cards and they seemed very genuine.

I still have them. They are lovely letters.

I would do nothing and just let it go but I would think it was really weird. I have never not brought a gift - even when travelling, getting hotels, in the bridal party, gone to the shower - if you attend a wedding, you bring a gift. If I'm in the bridal party my gift is probably only like $50 instead of the normal $100-150 I would give, but I would still give something. (I live in a high COL area where this is the typical amount given)

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Well I can speak to my wedding no one has to travel they are all local, kids may attend, I did not have any bridal parties or showers to buy gifts for. So I am not asking for much over here. A card would not break the bank for any of my guests. I also did not register anywhere for this reason. We already have a home and everything we need. If you are spending THOUSANDS to attend a wedding this should be a close relative or a very very close friend. It is a good thing you have thousands to spend most do not!!!