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Reghan
Just Said Yes October 2021

How to have my Brother involved in the wedding

Reghan, on September 22, 2020 at 11:10 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 10

My fiance and I picked our wedding parties already. He has included all four of his brothers as groomsmen, and I have my sisters as my bridesmaids. I also have a brother, who I am not very close with. I feel like he should be involved, but I don't know what title to give him?? We have a somewhat strained relationship due to his wife, but I don't want to cause more drama when I can ask him to be host or something? We already have ushers picked out, so adding a third might be weird? I don't know but advice would be MUCH appreciated.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Mcskipper, on September 22, 2020 at 1:34 PM
  • Kia
    Devoted September 2021
    Kia ·
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    Have him “host” the rehearsal dinner
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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    My brother wasn’t a groomsmen or in my bridal party and I didn’t give him a title but I recognized him by also having him walk down the aisle during professional before my parents
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  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    Is your dad planning to walk you down the aisle? If so, you could ask your brother to escort your mom down the aisle? That way, he's still included in the ceremony, and has a task to do. Otherwise, you could ask him to do a reading during the ceremony?
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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    What does being a host mean to you? Does it involve paying for things or working during the wedding? I definitely wouldn't put him to work as a way for him to be involved. Only those closest to you would (possibly) want to work at your wedding. It's fine that you aren't close to him and it's fine for him to just be a guest. Trying to force some title could just be more awkward, especially if it meant he had to pay for a special outfit or perform tasks/duties.

    I say all of this as someone who has 6 siblings of varying levels of closeness. I've been in some of their wedding parties and have attended other weddings just as a guest. One wedding I skipped because it was too far to travel (US to Japan). It's all fine and our relationships are the same as they ever were.

    Also, my husband had to be in both his brother's weddings (both destinations, less than 2 years apart), which meant paying for tux rental, travel, etc. And they are NOT close in the slightest. It was an imposition and awkward.

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  • Reghan
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Reghan ·
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    My inlaw's already offered to host the rehearsal dinner, but that's a great idea.

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  • Reghan
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Reghan ·
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    That is a super great idea. I think he and my mom would love that. I was considering that or maybe having him hold a candle for lost loved ones and walk in the processional?

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  • Reghan
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Reghan ·
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    Love this idea. I was thinking a reading or something, I just didn't know if it was enough. Thank you for the advice!

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  • Reghan
    Just Said Yes October 2021
    Reghan ·
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    Yeah I don't think he would want to be a host, because that's a lot of busy work and design work that he wouldn't really want to do/I wouldn't trust him as much to know my "vision" lol. Yeah I don't want it to be awkward either. Thank you SO much for the advice!

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  • Katie
    Dedicated October 2021
    Katie ·
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    My brother will be a groomsman for my FH. If you don’t feel close enough to him for that, he could do a reading or walk your mom or grandparents down the aisle
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  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
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    He doesn’t need a formal role. My brother wasn’t in the wedding party but I also wanted to do something so he knew he was important to me— so, I had him walk down the aisle as part of the processional. No job or fanfare, but this way he was still part of the event. Nice and minor — aside from walking no one had to do anything— but still managed to be a little part of the spotlight Smiley smile
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