How to include my best friend

Couldn’t he just be a bridesman?

I asked him that and he said thats not something he would want to do, he said since he is a "straight male" people would judge him lol

View Quoted Comment Then it doesn’t sound like he wants to be included.

View Quoted Comment Nobody would judge him. It's actually become quite common for wedding parties to include both genders on both sides of the groom and bride. With that being said, you could ask him to be an usher?

View Quoted Comment That's what i suggested, but my mom said that the groomsmen are typically the ushers. I have no idea about traditional wedding etiquette but i didnt think it was a bad idea.

View Quoted Comment I asked him if he wants to be a part of my wedding in some way and he said yes. He is very opinionated with no filter so he would have told me if he didnt want to. He just doesn't want to stand up there with all of the bridesmaids and feel out of place, which i understand.

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My brother is a bridesman. He is straight and will be married by the time we have our wedding. I don't see why people would judge him. My fiance's best friend is a groomswoman and she is also straight. I think your friend is overthinking this. If he doesn't want to be a bridesman than I would make him an usher. Groomsmen can be ushers so other people can be. At my friend's wedding, she had her three bothers as ushers and they were not groomsmen.

If he doesn't want to be a bridesman, then you can make him an usher. Your mom is not correct, because YES sometimes groomsmen are ushers but not always. Sometimes weddings have separate ushers than the groomsmen.

Readings don't have to be religious. They could just be poetry or a passage that mean something. Do you have an officiant? Would he be interested in speaking in front of others since you're not looking for a religious figure anyway? You can definitely have ushers that aren't groomsmen. Toast at the reception?

My brother is going to be on my side at the wedding!! He will wear a lighter suits to match the girls slate blue dresses. My FH has to girls on his side in navy jumpsuits to match the groomsmen! it’s totally fine!!

My best friend since high school (12 years) is a guy, but I know he doesn't have any particular interest in weddings, so I'm just inviting him as one of my must-have VIP guests. There's just no way he would enjoy taking on any sort of role in the wedding lol, so I won't do that to him.

Your buddy might be different, though!

He could be the ring bearer or a bridemen (or whatever its called) haha!!

View Quoted Comment What are some "special" things that come with making them a VIP guest? What makes them different than the other guests?

Put him in your side. He can be a bridesmaid. I have one,

View Quoted Comment For me, VIP guests are mandatory guests because I can't imagine getting married without them! Parents, two best friends, and my sister.

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He thinks only gay males can be bridesmen? That is really weird! (And let's leave aside whether people would "judge him" if he really were gay.)

He could do a reading (which need not be religious), or be an usher. But he's missing out, for a very silly reason.

Are you doing a unity ceremony? Could he assist with that in any way?

I made mine a Bridesman!

I have a friend who I want included but I didn't want mismatched numbers in the bridal party so I asked if she would want to get ordained and be our officiant (since we are also not having a religious ceremony). She has been great!

At my male cousin's wedding, who has no brothers, had his sister be his Best Woman. His wife's best friend is a man, and he was her Man of Honor. Everybody was straight. It was all in a church. The couple is super religious. I think you can do whatever you want!