How to invite partners or plus ones?

Significant others are not plus ones. Couples who are considered a social unit or are living together must be invited from the start. Obviously there are some gray areas, for example very young couples or those who are in a casual or new relationship. TBH, this is something that should have been planned from the outset. Guest list and budget should come before selecting a venue. If any of these people are VIPs or related in the same way as others invited then cuts might have been made elsewhere.

What you're describing is a B list, which is considered rude. No one wants to be treated that way. Addressing any of this on the website would make it clear to everyone on your list what you're doing and be an even more public faux pas.

When you use marriage as the gatekeeper for your event, you're going to offend loved ones who don't plan on ever being married. Just because you're getting married, doesn't mean their relationship isn't valid-- it may not be your intent, but that's how it will come off. Instead, just make the hard decisions and cut your guest list to your closest loved ones with their SOs (by name). It's actually easier than getting into each couple's business and deciphering if their partner makes the wait list/ B list or not. Also, I think any party is awkward when you have ~100 half partners. This will just lead people into leaving early. Good luck.

Well if you've already addressed the serious partnerships, then I would not mention anything further on the website. There's still some time to go, and you may want to use extra money from declines for something else. If you do offer, just quietly text or call singles who did accept. Declines should not be recontacted as that would be awkward, their reasons are private.

I know some disagree but as I said, I think a brand new or casual relationship can be a gray area. In that case, I would just reach out individually and send an invitation to that person by name when it's become clear that it's a committed relationship or when you decide to accommodate. I'm sure strict etiquette would disagree, but I personally don't see anything too offensive about a later invitation under these specific circumstances. Absolutely nothing on the website, though.

We also had limited space for guests and did a similar situation with plus ones. Unless married, engaged or had been together long enough to be considered a part of the family/friend group got plus ones, anyone else did not. I had a few people reach out asking if they could, ask "no's" rolled in we either said yes or no. I wouldn't add it to your website but if you have enough no's reach out to those that you know are in relationships that would want to bring their S/O or we reached out to individuals. who wouldn't know many people at the wedding and said if they wanted to bring a date they could.

Don't B list people, it makes them feel like second choice, because they are. It's a faux pas, etiquette-wise.

Anyone that identifies as being in the relationship when the invitations go out should be invited with their SO by name. Plus 1's are completely different and are optional for sure. That's for truly single people that might like to bring a guest.

I was coming across the same issue, basically we created a back up list, so for anyone who can't attend the place can now go to a plus one who asked to be put on the back up list

hope this makes sense and helps

Nicola

That's actually B-listing and is an etiquette no-no. Guests shouldn't be distinguished between first and second tier, or A and B list. Hopefully your group was OK with that.

See comments above in the thread.

It's no longer just your day when you involve other people. It's wrong because you're telling people they aren't good enough to be on the "prime" list. Ultimately that makes some people feel like second choice, because they are. The only way A and B lists work is if it's a working list only and everyone gets invited at the same time. Inviting people late only after others have declined is rude and can lead to hurt feelings.

Our situation is very similar - down to having 125 people and an RSVP portal with linked guests. I would say just leave it as is, and then if you have some room on your guestlist, reach out to selected people and offer the plus-one. Otherwise, by putting it on your website, you set the expectation that people can lobby for or request a plus-one, and then they might wonder why somebody else got one, but they didn't. It's better to give an unexpected gift, than to set an expectation and take it away.
Also - as my wedding is 7 weeks away, I can tell you that you probably won't want to be dealing with any extra communications from guests beyond what you absolutely have to. There are SO many details to handle, it's not worth it to invite extra conversations!

Good luck!