How to politely ask the guest if they are coming.

The rule of thumb is 80% acceptace (based on the # of invites you sent out), although that number is likely to be different depending on people's ages and where they live in relation to the wedding. I know it's frustrating, but for now you're just going to have to wait until your 'RSVP by' date to get here.

Thanks Melanie!

After my RSVP date came and went...I sent emails/texts to people just saying. "Hey so-and-so! Just checking in to see if you are going to be able to make it to the wedding. And if so, which meal you preferred. Thanks!"

I've gotten most of them to reply..altho there are a couple who I have emailed, texted AND messaged on Facebook...and have gotten bupkiss....so I guess they aren't coming? lol =)

@Jen H.: That couple will probably be the first ones in line for the meal! Lol.

Thanks Jen, I just didn't want people to feel obligated but I have a fear of rejection as well lol

I didnt get almost any rsvps, Was sooo frustrating, and then when i asked some ppl i got a yes and then they never showed! So based on my wedding i would just use the 80% rule as stated above

Hey date twin! I am in the same boat - so far only 24 people out of 69 have RSVP'd. Whenever I talk to one of those have not I ask if they received the invitation (which has been great because a couple did not). Other than that, I am just going to wait until the week prior and give them a call.

You could also say, "Hi so-and-so! We heard a few of our wedding invitations got lost in the mail. I wanted to make sure you that you received yours and find out if you'll be able to make it. Please let me know as soon as possible as our RSVP date has passed and we have to get our head count to the caterer very soon! Love, Courtney & FH"

@Linda, it's frustrating for sure! we have around 37 out of 120...I'm sue I'll wait till the last week as well.

Thanks Kristen thats a really good idea!! I just needed some way to ask but be nice about it =)

Well the only people who didn't respond were my mom's invites. All my & DH's invitees replied in the first week. So I had her call around and see what was up. Pretty sure she just asked "are you coming, yes? then mail in your card because you're being rude"… granted I wasn't there for the conversations so she may not have been that blunt, but whatever she said worked because they call came streaming in after that.

My deadline was yesterday.

I txt'd 3 friends. and said "hey, just wanted to check if you got our wedding invite and if so see if a. you can come and b.if you eat red meat, thanks"

One didn't recieve the invite (so I said f snail mail and emailed it to her and she promptly responded)

One said he put it in the post Monday so it shoud be here soon

and one said "a crap Ive been meaning to mail it".

Then my aunt called me for something else, and I asked if she was coming, she said "of course I'm coming I just thought since Im seeing you at your shower I'd give you the RSVP there"

I'm actually doing that now. This is what I send in texts, emails, and inboxes.

Hey I was wondering are you coming to my wedding, I'm doing the final count and I noticed that you were not marked for accepted or declined. I also didn't know if you got the invitation in the mail. Please let me know asap.

Thank you all for your ideas everyone! I had the hardest time writing this not to my guests! But we'll see if the following warrants any responses:

"Hi Invitee! Hope all is well! Just wanted to reach out to you and see if you received the wedding invitation and if are planning on coming to the wedding (we never got your RSVP). Please let us know as soon as you can, as the boat needs our final head count next week. Hope you can make it! Talk to you soon! - Kim"

My Son's Graduation Party is in Two weeks. The invitation said pls RSVP by July 3rd. I sent out 145 invitations for 100 Guest to attend. I've only received a Total of 55 Guest who replied Yes. The deadline to RSVP and give the Caterer a Final Head Count is July 5th. HOW DO I WORD A TEXT OR EMAIL TO THOSE WHO HAVE NOT RESPONDED Yet or by the deadline. Please Help!!! Frustrated Parent??

Old post, but helped a lot!

"Hi _________! I hope you're doing well. Just wanted to check in and see if we'll have the pleasure of seeing you at the wedding? "

In my save the date, I told them I will harass you 4 different ways if you dont RSVP. I started off with nice messages...So, if I have to call afterwards I will be annoyed. I know its normal, however my family and friends know I shoot straight from the hip. Hey, I sent you the invitations, and several messages, and I did not get a response, are you coming, Yes or No? lol My husband can be the nice one and sugar coat it for me. I thank God most folks in my circle do not wear their heart on their sleeves.

I haven't sent mine out yet (so excited to get them from the printer!), but if/when we have this issue, I'm going to straight-up call people and say that if they don't mail in their RSVP by such and such a date that there will not be a meal or seat for them at the wedding. I mean, we stamp and address these things. There's not an excuse.

My deadline was Monday and I still had 50 people who did not RSVP. In a text message I sent a picture of the invite and asked them if they were coming. That got me to 30 who hadn't RSVP'd. I will now be calling the last 30. If they don't respond by next Monday they won't have a seat or a plate at the wedding. Nobody is going to stress me out in the last few weeks before my big day.

View Quoted Comment Same, we might even put it on the invite. Something like "If you don't RSVP by the due date we will not count you in the final headcount for chairs and meals. Which will be given to vendors promptly after date mentioned above." My FH family has a tendency of not confirming if they are coming until day of, which doesn't work for planning food and seating charts. We are also recruiting his mother to call before the due date to remind them that if they don't respond we are marking them as a no. Should get them to check the box and put it back in thier mail box really quick 😉