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Nicoler030
Devoted October 2018

How to request monetary gifts only??

Nicoler030, on July 24, 2009 at 7:43 AM Posted in Planning 0 17

I was wondering if anyone will be asking for monetary gifts for their wedding? I have had my own since forever and I do not need a new blender, toaster, ect.... and I wasn't sure as to how to put that on the invite, anu ideas!?!?

17 Comments

Latest activity by DEBBIE, on October 26, 2021 at 11:31 PM
  • R
    Devoted November 2009
    RachieL7 ·
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    I was told I couldn't. I went ahead and registered for some items. Then asked those close to me that when people asked them for my registry to let them know where to find the registry but recommend a monitary gift.

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  • Jessy
    Master May 2010
    Jessy ·
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    We aren't having a registry for that very reason... we have just about everything we need. We decided to leave registry info off of the invite. When people ask where we are registered, we will tell our local friends that their presence and potluck dish is enough... or for those local friends pitching in to make cakes and gather flowers, etc... that they have done enough already. Our out of town friends and family will be told that their travel plans to be with us is enough. If anyone insists on buying a gift, we will have a few small ticket suggestions for them.

    I don't know... the money would be great, but I'm not comfortable asking for it. So we're just encouraging participation and discouraging the purchase of unneeded stuff.

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  • A
    Savvy August 2009
    AJ ·
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    Maybe you could do it in a round about way...like register your honeymoon. We registered our honeymoon and the company just transfers the money directly into our bank account. You can break the transfers into three payments (I've already gotten one) and use the money for whatever we want. We are seriously using ours for our honeymoon, but you don't have to. The site that we're using is thebigday.com. They charge a fee and I've since found out from other sites that you can use cheaper honeymoon registry sites or build one yourself and link it to paypal, then you can avoid the fees. I'm okay with the fees though because it's too late to change and either way, it saves me from taking gifts back to the store from a registry that I didn't want in the first place b/c like u, I don't need the stuff and would've been doing it just to do it. I did do a tiny registry at Target in addition to the honeymoon one for the old schoolers. Good luck!

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  • Jessica
    Super October 2009
    Jessica ·
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    Honestly, I think it would be seen as tacky to specifically request a monetary gift. I know I'd be very uncomfortable doing so. I would say word of mouth would be the best way for you to get the word out. Tell you parents, attendants and siblings your preference and they can pass it on. It's considered poor etiquette to include ANY registry information on your invites. That said, people who want to get you a gift, will get you a gift, no matter your preference. I would suggest at least making a small registry so that those who are not comfortable giving cash or a check will at least have options of what you may like.

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  • Lyn
    Dedicated August 2009
    Lyn ·
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    Agreed, Jessica C. If there is a non-tacky way to ask for money only, I haven't heard it. Good advice from previous posters is to make a small registry (kitchen stuff?) and then hope that when that stuff is gone, most people will know to give you money.

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  • Dyan
    Devoted October 2009
    Dyan ·
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    I have been told it is not proper etiquette to ask for money, however there are registries that are designed so the couple will get money. Check out http://www.ourwishingwell.com and http://www.thehoneymoon.com. I have registries at both since I already have a house and don't need the traditional items. You can access my wedding website through my profile to see how I worded everything. In addition I created smaller registries at Target and Bed Bath and Beyond for my guests who are more comfortable getting something from a traditional registry. Good luck!

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  • FMS, the barefoot wife!
    Master August 2010
    FMS, the barefoot wife! ·
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    You can't put it on invites, or invite inserts, the only way you can really let guests know is by word of mouth, make sure your bridal party and both sets of parents know that you really only need money, so if a guest asks, they can tell them. And if a guest ask you or your FH, Just say "Well, our home is already furnished, so we don't really need anything for the house" and if they ask if money is ok just thell them that money is just fine..I have a hard time telling guests that they have to buy me a gift and this is what I want..all with a registry, but I basically got over that with some help of my MOH who said I would be getting a lot of stuff I don't want/need if I didn't at least register for a few household items..so go ahead and register for some basic house stuff, like and extra bed set for your bed, some towels, a few entertaining pieces like a punch bowl and cups...

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  • FMS, the barefoot wife!
    Master August 2010
    FMS, the barefoot wife! ·
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    I forgot to add that you can put your registry info on your website and/or bridal shower invites..

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  • Laura
    Master May 2009
    Laura ·
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    NO gift or registry info goes on the invites. Put it on your website and have some family members spread it through word of mouth, people will ASK where you are registered. Then register for a honeymoon fund or a wishing well. There are a ton online. I used www.thehoneymoon.com and there is www.thehoneyfund.com. This way people still feel like they're giving you an actual gift but really the site just cuts you a check. You still have to register for a few traditional things for the stubborn people (usually grandma) that don't want to give anything but towels or something. Out of our 75 guests, only 2 gave us "gifts" everyone else gave us money in some form. A lot of them loved the honeymoon registry, commenting on how different it was and how cool to get to see what our honeymoon will be like and be able to contribute to it.

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  • Nicoler030
    Devoted October 2018
    Nicoler030 ·
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    Thanks for helping!!

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  • Gershelda
    VIP October 2009
    Gershelda ·
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    Well, we registered at honeymoonwishes.com. We have everything we need for our home, not a honeymoon. My MOH and BM are giving us a couples/honeymoon shower with a camping theme, because we're going camping for our honeymoon. My daughter, BM, came up with a great idea. She got back packs and we are asking guest to fill up the back packs with camping items...also, she is making a money tree to have at the shower. She came up with a cute poem to put on the invites about where we are registered, and what to do. Anyway, it all ties in and it should be fun. I don't think it's tacky the way she is doing it because it give the guest options, they can go to the website and make a donation, or bring a gift, or put money on the money tree.

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  • Stefanie Fario
    Stefanie Fario ·
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    You can't really outright ask for monetary gifts only without appearing tacky or rude. The best way to handle it is leave the information off the invite and when people inquire (to either yourself, family or bridal party) tell them that since you're already set up in a home you really don't need things but if they want to purchase a gift card or cards (which will usually include money) that is more than welcome. You could also set up a fund for your honeymoon or downpayment on a house, etc. and have guests contribute to that. There are many sites now that perform this service.

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  • lashanda
    Just Said Yes July 2010
    lashanda ·
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    Im haveing the same problem me and my husband is celebrateing our 10 year wedding anniversary ,and we most definetly do not need any household items!!! but every one says it is not nice to add inserts to our renewal invites ,so what do we do ? haveing a registry is a set up for ungreatfulness when you only want cash gifts...is there any one who have or is wanting cash gifts only? and wasnt afraid to ask

    regardless of the ridacule ....and besides the famouse sentence is ,its your wedding, whatever you decide it will be fine.

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  • Sarah
    Savvy May 2011
    Sarah ·
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    My Fiance and I recently signed up for a Wish registry at UponOurStar.com. Instead of asking for cash, we were able to ask for our most meaningful wishes to be granted — we asked for things we need in our dream home (this fixer upper won't fix itself!!) and even a few fun things like fancy restaurants and a couple fun honeymoon excursions! We received rave reviews from friends who say they love the idea of giving meaningful gifts instead of just *stuff* they know we probably don’t need …. and we really love the fact and we really love the fact that we get cash in our bank account without being blatant about it!

    I highly recommend looking into the "other" registry and making a way to make your wishes come true!

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  • M
    Just Said Yes June 2013
    Manuel ·
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    I have seen some couples use poems to ask for monetary gifts. I'm not sure if this still tacky, but it's a cute way to do it. You could put the poem on an insert in your invitations.

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  • V
    Just Said Yes March 2013
    Veronica ·
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    I put it on my response cards... I put:

    With all that we have,

    we have been truly blessed.

    Your presence and prayers are all we request.

    But if you decide to give, nonetheless,

    Monetary gifts are ones we suggest.

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  • DEBBIE
    Just Said Yes August 2016
    DEBBIE ·
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    Great idea.
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