How to Separate Invitations

Sorry I just want to clarify. What you’re saying is people will come to the ceremony, stay for a cocktail hour, leave for dinner and then come back for dancing?

There is no right way to do this. The reception is meant to be a thank you to your guests for coming to your ceremony so it is rude and poor etiquette to not invite people to the reception and just the dancing portion. You should thank all of your guests with a meal and dancing. If you can’t do this, cut your guest list.

What do you expect guests to do when you kick them out for dinner? Not only is this rude, it seems like a logistical nightmare.

If you are set on doing it this way I would do separate invites. But I agree with other posters- how are you going to stop people from going to reception? Won’t people be upset they are being asked to leave while others get to go into reception? Having it at the same place right after cocktail hour sounds like a nightmare.

Hmm im in Minnesota and I haven't seen this particular thing done, but I have seen people just get invited for the dance (after dinner). I have also personally been invited to just the ceremony. I think it would be tricky to invite them to the ceremony and dance just cause I dont know how you would say that. Is it possible to only have them at the dance? I think this is okay depending on what group it is. Family would be hard but for example, my sister let all my friends come after the dinner to let them come have fun/party with me. Pr maybe college friends who just want to party with you?

I have seen it where people are only invited for dancing (in which case it was a separate invitation) but I'm also confused about how they'd go to the ceremony, not dinner, and then be there for dancing?

I've personally never heard of this and think it will be a logistical nightmare. Since it is apparently common where you live why don't you ask other local friends how they worded their invites?

You really think people would want to come to your ceremony and cocktail hour, get kicked out for dinner, then want to come back after for dancing? I wouldn’t. Besides the ridiculously yucky breach of etiquette, I don’t see this as even being logistically possible. I agree with the previous poster who suggested asking people in your own circle who’ve allegedly done this before, doubtful you’ll find the information you want here.

So how does this work? Do you have bouncers with pictures that track down the people that have to leave after cocktail hour? Or do you have someone announce those of you that aren’t allowed to eat need to leave and come back? I just don’t understand how you would work that. The only time I’ve seen people do a ceremony and just dancing is when there’s a huge gap and they’re given a different time to come for just dancing

OK, I'm going to try to be helpful here.

Assuming this is something that's normal in your circle, like you said, I would have two separate invitations. For those who aren't invited to dinner, I wouldn't have them at cocktail hour either. This way they have two hours to find their own dinner, then can come back for the dancing. I also think this would be less awkward.

Just because you've seen it done before doesn't make it right. Host the wedding you can where everyone can be invited to everything.

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Agree...and if they were invited for dancing, it was normally by word of mouth. Not actual invitations. I think it would be really hard to ask someone who attended your ceremony to leave for a couple hours and come back after dinner. No way to word that in a written invite. Awkward....

Sorry for all the judge mental messages UGH. Some people don’t get that everybody’s etiquette is NOT the same. I think you have to know your crowd. If this is something that’s common in your circle then do what you want. I or others may not do that but you asked for advice, you didn’t ask to be scolded (rolls eyes

So I do agree that logistical it may be hard but as far as invites maybe you can word it and say ceremony (insert info including time, open to all) cocktail hour, open to all), the invitations for the dinner put small private reception for family members, special invite only and send those on a different card or something to the people invited. Maybe space it out so others who aren’t invited to dinner have time to leave. Don’t know how this will turn out but I tried lol. Good luck!

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Yes that is what I was referring to! Thank you! I guess I was just wondering if there's a better way to do it than just informally telling casual friends that they can come to dancing. You get it! haha

View Quoted Comment We just did informal by mouth. If the are groups of people that know each other you could maybe do a Facebook group explaining. Or else smaller group messages

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Thank you SO much for trying to be helpful

I think I've mostly just seen cases where people just understood that they weren't invited to the dinner and only came for dancing later on. (Plus these were also all church weddings where basically anybody could show up and it wouldn't be an issue).

Thanks for your suggestions! They are actually very clever! I'll need to reevaluate who we're all inviting. It's just difficult when you know people who would love to be there whether you feed them or not and you have to say no due to "etiquette".

Thanks for being a ray of positivity and helpfulness on this site!

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Yeah it seems like that must be the best/most common way. Thank you for your help and for being kind!

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Agreed, thank you for your suggestions!