How to survive a marriage with an Angry husband

My husband and I should be in our honeymoon phase post-wedding, but we’re not. We’re in a little over 3 months, and our marriage is already on the rocks. I honestly don’t know how this happened. One moment, we’re in love and enjoying being newlyweds for a good 3 weeks, and then bam! The fights have become increasingly hurtful, moreso emotionally than physically. We’ve gotten into 3 HUGE fights since then, not to mention the little petty arguments and outbursts that I try so hard to dismiss. Each fight, he has thrown the “D” word — divorce. It has me questioning everything and our vows we made to each other. I’ve heard some women describe how their husband changed after marriage and how their true selves came out. I don’t want to accept that this is what may have happened to my husband. But I also knew months into dating, he had an anger problem. We somehow navigated it through it and came out understanding each other. Now, there’s none of that. I feel like he has no respect for me and the line was crossed months ago. In the moment, I can only see this spiraling into the worst possible scenarios. But when things are at peace between us, I really believe we can make it through this like those 45+ year marriages you hear of.

He is the love love of my life and we really do get along well when there’s no anger in the equation. We have the same moral beliefs and have similar upbringings. Our personalities, when in a fight, clash and it’s an uphill battle I think we’re losing. We’ve talked about counseling many times and have seen 1 psychologist who he didn’t like. He’s had a history of going to an anger management group/session, but stated it doesn’t work. He’s also claimed that he thinks an eastern-based psychologist would be more helpful, but he’s yet to find a therapist. I have also been contemplating on revising my therapist just for my sanity, but my current insurance situation doesn’t allow me to do so. His mother had a glimpse of our fight and how he treats me, was completely ashamed of his actions towards me, but ultimately advised me to leave the room and allow him to stew in his own anger until he apologizes. I tried a few times, but I’m inconsistent with handling my own emotions at the time and haven’t been perfect about leaving him to think to himself.

Any advice on living with a husband who has anger issues would be appreciated. How do you live with him? How do you make it work? Is it better to just throw in the towel now than to later end up in divorce anyway?