How to tell a not so close friend that you cant be a groomsman anymore?

1. What does your husband think? If it's SUPER important for him to be in the wedding still, I'd just explain to him it probably has to be on a CC and he probably has to skip the bachelor party or work overtime to make ends meet.

2. I think the only way to let the groom know is to tell him you are dealing with some major health issues at home. You don't have to disclose cancer specifically, but I think being honest about being sick & all the bills is reasonable.

I'm so sorry for your diagnosis, I'll pray for you and our husband.

Thank you for your kind and quick response. I havent talked to him at all about it yet - we just found out about a week or so ago so it is still new news. I am stressing out about it. I have to tell him tonight that he needs to drop out of the wedding and im not sure how to do that (although i am sure he will understand - i am his wife and all). We have things to think about like our mortgage, cars, etc. (all of our other bills) and on top of it these medical bills and me being out of work for my surgeries etc. This may be a stupid question but what is a CC? We cant afford to buy the tux they are requesting or contribute any other way right now. He is not close with this guy at all and i think its odd that he was even asked to be in the wedding. I just do not want the added stress because my husband has the hardest time saying no!

In this situation, I think your best bet is to be honest with the groomsman. If you and FH were planning on paying for his tux/suit or gift, let him know you're not able to do so anymore. A true friend would be understanding and sympathetic. I'm so sorry you're having to go through all of this! Stay strong!

Thank you so much girl! I guess i am just more nervous about how to approach my husband about it and tell him he needs to back out.

It will be a difficult conversation to have, but it needs to happen sooner rather than later. I truly hope he will be open and listen to you

In most cases I think it's easier to make tough decisions when armed with the facts. In this case, I'd do a quick run-down of your current financial situation, and the likelihood that you need to cut back/save as much as possible for the upcoming financial uncertainties (e.g., you being off work, copayments for your treatment, etc.). Once that's clear, the conversation can pretty easily turn to things that can be cut -- like the expenses related to being a GM. In addition, given your very recent diagnosis, I definitely think it's fair that there's an emotional argument for his dropping out as well -- obviously you're both pretty overwhelmed by this news and it's hard to predict what physical & emotional condition you'll be in two months from now. I'd let him know the anticipated cost and the disruption of him traveling are just too much for you to cope with right now and ask that he drop out. I think it's totally valid to let the groom know that due to "an unexpected emergency" he need to drop out. He doesn't need to disclose anything about the specifics if you'd rather not share them. (Also, if someone he's not close to asked him to be in a wedding with only 10 weeks notice, personally, I'd suspect that he's a "replacement" for someone else who dropped out.... So, I wouldn't feel too bad about changing plans on them.) Good luck to you with your treatment! You and H are going to need to lean on each other more than ever, so working on having honest conversation is probably more critical than ever before.

I'm sorry to hear of your recent health issues.

talk to your husband - see if he wants to still be that man's groomsman and if he does, perhaps he can speak to the groom about alternatives to the expensive tux and not attending or pitching in for the bachelor party.

i told my wedding party a while ago that if they ever needed help paying for their items, we had no problem helping them. so i'd like to think that hopefully that couple would be ok with helping their wedding party out too.

also, echoing what some of the comments said already - it is valid to drop out due to emergency and this one is good reason.

this is also part of the reason why i tell my friends that they should actually think carefully about being in someone's wedding party because it is responsibility and although it can be hard to say no, sometimes you just don't need to be a part of everyone's wedding in that capacity, even if asked.

best of luck with your health!!