How to tell cousin her terrible two year old is not welcome.

Are no kids invited? If you’re inviting other kids and you’re saying she’s the only one who can’t bring her child I don’t think there’s a polite way to do that unfortunately.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this. There’s no polite way to exclude one child.

I know there isnt a polite way. And kids are invited as they were for the birthday party but he is the one everyone complained about or said something. I wouldnt have a problem with him if my cousin would keep an eye on him more. She was there at the party and just laughed at everything he did or said.

If the child is already invited/RSVP’ed this would be quite offensive to her I presume if you asked her not to bring her her child. I would perhaps let key people know (bridal party, coordinators etc) know of the situation beforehand so they can keep your cousin (afterall she is the adult and should be responsible for her child) in check during the wedding.

If you're only excluding that one kid then you're just being rude. If you want to be rude then go ahead.

I would hire a babysitter. For $100-$150 you could have the peace of mind of someone watching him every minute of your event without causing any issues with your family. Excluding him because you dont approve of his behavior will hurt alot of feelings.

View Quoted Comment This is a great idea. I’ve been thinking about doing something like this at my wedding.

View Quoted Comment No i am not. Rude is for someone to let their child act that way and find it funny. My wedding is very important to me. I didnt mind it at a birthday party but for a wedding I dont find that behavior appropriate. If rude is what i will be painted as then so be it. We all have our opinions. I am trying to see if there is another way I could bring up to her without offending her.

View Quoted Comment That sounds like a good idea.

This is what I don't get. . .when I was a kid it wasn't expected that us kids would be at a wedding. And if we did go we got picked up by a babysitter closely after the reception started. We got in the family pictures and the it was an "adult" party. I can't be the only one who had a childhood like this. Kids are not automatically invited to something when their parents are. Don't mean to offend, I just don't get how the lines have become blurred between "adult events" and "kid friendly" events.

You can't exclude him but you can 1) hire a babysitter, 2) know you will be so busy you probably won't notice him and 3) if your wedding is an evening wedding know that they will leave early to put him to bed. Bear in mind: The babysitter needs to be for every kid and be prepared for the little one to not go willingly with the sitter.

I have two sons, now in college and I, for the life of me, could never understand why parents want to haul their kids everywhere. Get a sitter and enjoy your night out!!!!

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The difference is inviting some kids and not others, especially if that decision is based off of their bad behavior. I would hope when you were a kid ALL children got sent home shortly after the ceremony. If only the "bad" kids were sent home and the "good" kids got to stay, I would bet there were hurt feelings. Nobody likes to feel like they are a bad mom or that they cant control their kids. No matter how much you love them, it's just not something you can say politely enough to not hurt their feelings.

View Quoted Comment We were not "sent home" it was the decision our parents made. There could have been times when my sister and I were the only kids picked up while other kids got to stay, again the decision of my parents. I get this was the way my parents handled it and not all parents handle it the way my parents did. Parents should be able to recognize when an event is right for their children and when it's not. Sounds that is where Marisol is struggling. . .

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Agree! Both my bestfriend and my brother had challenging, high energy toddlers. They both expressed to me how crappy of a human being they felt because their kiddo was a little unruly. Thankfully for most toddlers its just a stage and they turn into great kids. But excluding them from family events is just pouring salt in a wound during a very tough season for these folks!

View Quoted Comment It’s totally fine to have an adults only wedding. I think the difference is when someone invites kids but then only wants to exclude one then that makes things difficult.

View Quoted Comment Yes!!! I thought I was the only one!! Most of the time I was left at home. It should not be a problem that your kids are not invited. It’s drinking and partying. You shouldn’t be upset that the main ppl don’t want kids.
My little sister was a walking tornado and someone asked my mom if she would leave my little sister at home for an event and my mom had no problem with it.

My cousin has some of the worst kids I’ve ever seen. I was going to invite my siblings and my step brother and no other children and my family threw a fit. I straight up said I will not have kids acting up or children that might misbehave at the wedding.

I would say she might be upset you asking him to not go. But a wedding is a big deal and if you’re afraid of him acting up then he doesn’t need to go. He may throw a fit about sitting too long or about wanting to eat cake (when it’s not time and may even go stick his hand in it) or tear up decorations or whatever.
You have a few options:

- make a kid only area for during the ceremony and the reception and get a sitter or two. (depending on how many kids you have) have toys and things to draw and color. Make it very clear they are to stay only in the kid area
-pay for a sitter for just her and say “I want you to have a stress free night to let loose. I got a baby sitter set up for you guys so it can be just adults”
-tell her you don’t want him there and possibly make her and the family upset.
Those are the only things I can really think of.
Good luck😊

I think you should just have an adults only wedding. But if not, I think it's fine for you to tell your cousin that unfortunately based on the way her son acts she can't bring him to the wedding. Explain that this is your one special day and you don't want any crying and screaming. If she can't handle that then oh well. It's your day and I wouldn't let someone else's kid ruining it. And you shouldn't have to pay fore a sitter because she can't handle and or know how to discipline her son. it would be different if you told sue she can't bring her kids because you don't have the space but Mary can bring hers. Or you are only inviting kids 5 and up then I would say just have no kids at all. But because he is unruly he can't come.

View Quoted Comment Agree with this so much! The kid needs to be kept in line, which doesn't seem like something the mother knows how to do. A wedding should not be ruined because someone doesn't discipline their child. I could understand the OP coming off as rude if they mother had been trying or even apologized for her kid's behavior, but she didn't. I think you have every right to exclude him.

If you are close with this cousin it should be an easier conversation( still uncomfortable) but I agree weddings are expensive and I would hate to have screaming kids during my ceremony or speeches. I will not be having kids attend my wedding at all I don't like the idea of alcohol and kids. I was raised that kids stayed with kids we didn't mingle with adults unless it was a family affair but a wedding was ceremony and pick up or we left with grandma because she didnt party much.

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Same I watched the kids on FH side of the family running around his cousins wedding throwing themselves on the dance floor. the smallest lifting up their dress exposing her diaper and I almost had a heart attack. So I can imagine how you feel.