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Just Said Yes October 2019

How to tell cousin her terrible two year old is not welcome.

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Marisol, on August 5, 2019 at 6:20 PM

So this past weekend I held a birthday party for my one year and it turned out great except for the fact that my cousins son cried about not getting a toy that was a gift for my son. He was touching the cake and jumping on the cooler to get to the toy after we put it on top of the cabinet. He almost broke the maracas that were my sons. He screamed and was slamming the doors. So this got me thinking..... what will happen on my wedding day? A birthday party you expect crying and screaming but a wedding not so much. I have already asked my mom to see who could talk to her about her child and she said no one would do that. Then i referred to my grandmother and my mom ssaid no that will not happen as my cousin is her golden granddaughter. So its my wedding i will do the talking lol. So how do i nicely tell her that she is more than welcome to come as long as she leaves her son with a babysitter? Because i dont think he will do any better in two months. Please help. P.S. I have three kids so I am well rounded on experiences with kids.

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25 Comments

Super October 2020
Renee · on August 6, 2019 at 5:04 PM
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I don't think there's an easy or polite way to do this. If possible, sit her down and just be honest with her. Say something about how you love her and her kid but his behavior at the birthday party has you concerned about how he would behave at the wedding and you'd prefer him to stay home for it. She could either get defensive or feel bad. Good luck
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Dedicated September 2019
Nadine · on August 7, 2019 at 2:06 PM
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My cousin has an extremely terrible 5 year old. I told my cousin there was limited space at the venue and due to safety regulations her son would not be able to sit on her lap. I did tell her she is able to bring her 1 year old as he will not require a seat.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Marisol · on August 7, 2019 at 3:28 PM
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Thats smart.
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Master May 2021
Cristy · on August 9, 2019 at 4:05 PM
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I'm with you. This is how I grew up as well. When we were little (like this kid), we didn't go to these events. Our parents got a babysitter. When we were older and allowed to go, we knew we better behave--or else!! My parents taught us very good manners, and we were a little bit afraid of them (perfectly normal), and so wouldn't dare act this way at someone's wedding or birthday party. But these days, with rampant political correctness ruining everything, parents think they have a right to drag their kids everywhere!
And in this instance, the mother of this child is the entire problem. If it were me, I'd be seriously considering not inviting her!! If she can't control her child's behavior at someone else's very expensive and fancy party, then she is not welcome.
If you feel the need to address this with her, I would just tell her that her son's behavior at the birthday party has you concerned about whether or not he'll be good at your wedding. You'll have to be really honest, and point out that she did nothing to control the situation at the birthday party, and that is unacceptable to you. This is not going to be easy. But if you feel a conversation is warranted, I wish you luck.
You might also take the other good advice I saw here--ask someone you trust (best friend, MOH, GM, family member) to keep an eye on things at the wedding, and if the kid starts acting up, have that person confront the kid's mother, explaining that if she can't control him, they will have to leave.
Hopefully, you'll have so many other guests, that this kid won't even be on your radar.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Marisol · on August 12, 2019 at 5:39 PM
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I just wanted to let everyone know that I have decided how I am going to address this issue. So i realized that everyone i invite to my wedding was there for the birthday party so who knows how their children may act. So i decided to put on a card (that is apart my invite package) to add at the bottom of the RECEPTION TO FOLLOW THE CEREMONY is to put CHILDREN ARE TO BE SUPERVISED AT ALL TIMES. I am hoping for the best. I know my son will be one of those crying during the ceremony he is a daddys boy and will want to be with him while we are standing up there.

So i just want to thank everyone for their advice. I appreciate it very much.
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