How we got brainwashed into diamond e-rings

Yeah ... there's apparently a trend right now in colored engagement rings, too. Admittedly, I love diamonds but my FH is not a fan (per much of what's mentioned in the article) and I get where he's coming from, so we settled on an aquamarine with a diamond halo, which I LOVE. Best of both worlds IMO.

I've never understood the fixation with diamonds honestly....

Yup. Exactly why I have my sapphire.

Partially why we got tattoos instead.

I guess my parents were trend-setters (or ahead of their time?) When they got engaged (they'll be married 62 years in July) all my dad could afford was my mom's birthstone (aquamarine). I asked mom when I was a teen if she ever wanted a diamond. She said that she didn't - she loved the ring that dad got for her, and nothing could replace it. Sadly, the ring became too fragile, and she hasn't been able to wear it for many years, so instead, she wears a "mother's ring" with all of our birthstones.

There's an episode of Adam Ruins Everything about this, it was pretty good

We were going to do a pear shaped emerald, we had it picked out and a quote from the jeweler. FH Loves to rant about how horrible the debears are and what a scam the diamond industry is. Then when he told his mom he was proposing she offered him his great grandmothers ring, which to me means so much more. It means they have accepted me into their family. So now I have a gorgeous diamond ring. But I will always love the idea of the pear cut emerald halo set engagement ring that almost was.

I'm NOT sharing. Feeling stingy today.

My exH was definitely indoctrinated into the diamond=love mindset. I asked for a colored stone and was SHUT DOWN. (shoulda been a red flag, I suppose)

Now I have a ruby ring that means the world to me.

No diamond hate here, I just love red in my jewelry, Ruby is my birthstone, and I adore them.

I mean, it's marketing. You could basically make this argument for literally anything that is popular in consumer culture.

But, get whatever ring you want. It really doesn't matter.

I don't think it's passive aggressive at all. If you love your diamonds, you love them and that's just fine. But beyond the blood diamond issue there are all kinds of reasons to really question not only diamond rings, but the construct of an engagement ring to begin with. We see those posts here; people who didn't like their ring; it wasn't big enough, the right size, the right shape, the right style, the right price. There is a weird connection between a fabulous ring and a fabulous love and that's something I've never understood. Like it's some kind of proof that one person loves another more. Proof validated by money spent.

Nothing wrong with a lovely piece of jewelry given in love, but when it turns into a competition, then there's something wrong.

I love my diamond, but you should get whatever you want.

My ring is a diamond and I love it.

I absolutely love my diamond (and I do associate it with how much FI loves me!) but I don't remember when I learned that association. I found the history fascinating - I had no idea there was so much intentional manuevering behind the creation of the romance and diamond association and how long it's lasted. Especially how they manipulated advertising for times when they wanted to focus on small diamond sales in response to Soviet pressures and managed to convince people that big diamonds were gaudy for a few years (to actually create a shortage in smaller diamonds) and then did a 180 to convince people larger is better.

Very impressive and to do it so subtly and so enduringly. I mean, it's different than that nutty pet rock trend - it's reshaping an entire culture in a pervasive way

I don't have a ring, nor do I plan on having a wedding ring. Won't make me less engaged or married.

ETA: if you look into the history of De Beers and colonial powers in the Congo during the reign of the Belgiums and French down the Ivory Coast, it will make you reconsider much of the jewellery you wear.

I think whatever you like is fine but I will only purchase conflict free and like recycled gold and vintage rings as well. Found a gorgeous one that's from 1940. I have found in general moissainite is do much pretty than diamonds. I get the most compliment on that but to each his or her own.

I think it is a matter of personal taste, I love diamonds in all shapes and sizes. I was given diamond earrings for my engagement. I was so thrilled because it was my first diamonds ever at age 26. I have been to Russia multiple times and I will be honest, you do not see many diamonds at all but you see tons of amber and saphires. When couples get married it is usually a plain band and there is no engagement rings unless you are of the most elite families and even then it is rare.

Just chiming in to say I love The Atlantic!

I love the Atlantic too! Their articles are so well written and in such depth!

@Svetlana, I can't comment on the availability of diamonds in Russia, just remarking on the article which stated that for a time De Beers was so threatened by the discovery of diamond mines in the USSR that they invented the eternity ring to deal with the supply.

Haha ahhh two camps. I have to be honest, I was engaged once before and had a diamond. I loved it, too. I wear diamond earrings my dad ought me daily, and have for almost 10 years. Part of the reason I was okay with a non-diamond though was because diamonds reminded me of my ex (who threw in my face for a year after we broke up that he lost money when re-selling my engagement ring). For me it was more about the significance than anything. I asked for what I have because it reminded me of the water, which I find incredibly soothing (I'm naturally quite anxious), and it turned out it was FH's birthstone so he got all emotional and excited when I told him that was what I wanted, too. Was a win-win. Love diamonds, too, just not as much in ring form because of past connotations