How would you feel if your parents can’t come to your wedding

Well why aren’t they attending? Did you know their was a possibility they wouldn’t come before now?

Well to be honest with you I’ve been here in Florida for about 16 years and my parents have never made it here to visit me I’m the one that always goes back home and this time around I thought that It was going to be a little different because I’m getting married and I’m assuming due to the fact that I’m their daughter they would be here but it seems like other things come before that so that makes me feel some type away

My parents aren’t coming to my wedding, let me say, I kind of knew they probably couldn’t, I’m having an elopement ceremony in another state and I know with money and stuff it would be hard for them to come, so it’s just my fh and myself and then 2 of our friends.. so I mean does it make me sad, yes kind of, but I also knew that would be like this and I accepted it, also in a way less stress because I don’t have to worry about making sure everyone had their stuff booked etc.

I definitely understand what you’re saying and you were aware that your parents were not gonna be able to come to your wedding but in my case I just recently found out and I get marry in March so hopefully by that time thinks change . I feel sad about the situation and I would definitely understand if they had a valid excuse but so far I haven’t gotten one

View Quoted Comment I mean if they haven’t visited you once in 16 years then I wouldn’t think they’d be at your wedding. I just think you should move on and focus on the positive things and not dwell on them not being there.

You are so right thanks .

I’m sorry. I know it hurts to lose a relationship with someone who should be there for you. My fiancé’s dad won’t come to our wedding bc his mom will be there, even though they got divorced over 20 years ago. He’s not my dad but I’m still really upset and hurt. I’m insisting we send him an invite anyway and hope he will have a change of heart. My fiancé says it’s fine if he doesn’t come but to me it’s not fine. All my divorced parents and grandparents are still coming, as well as my fiancé’s ex’s brother and we’re all being adults about it. and if he has to be that petty, yes I take that personally. My fiancé says that’s just how he is accept it, but I just refuse to say that’s ok. He also wouldn’t make time to meet us for lunch when we were in his town for a whole week with a free schedule. So, I understand why you’re upset and I’d be upset too.

Thank you so much for those kind words and I definitely feel for you just like I feel for myself . I will definitely extend an invitation if they come they come if they don’t I’m still moving on even if it hurts

My parents won’t even awknowledge that I’m getting married. They’re still in love with my jerk of an ex-husband. Like, they actually talk to him more than they talk to me. And even though I’m still mad at my parents for this and a part of me doesn’t want them to go, I’m still hurt knowing they likely won’t show up. For me, if they don’t come, I don’t know if that’s something I can get past. It’s sort of a deal breaker for me. But I’m still inviting them and hoping they show.

Are your parents not going for a specific reason? If you really want them there and it’s important you, I can understand how that would be hard for you to get past. You may need to have a serious talk with them about it. Figure out why they might not come and explain what it means to you if they do come. It’s one of those things that they can’t take back.

But whatever ends up happening, try not to let it put a damper on your day. Trust me, I know how hard that is. But for me, I’m doing everything I can to make it easy for my parents to go. So if they don’t go, that’s their choice. And I’m going to focus on all of the people who are there and not let it ruin the day for myself or my FH.

I’m sorry you have to deal with this. It’s definitely not an easy situation.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this. I understand being hurt that they can't be there, regardless of the reason. But, if there are some pretty compelling reasons like their health makes it almost impossible for them to travel or their financial situation is so difficult that they truly cannot afford to come, I'd be less hurt than if the reasons were more frivolous, like they don't like the weather in Florida or they're thinking of booking a vacation at the same time for another location. If you haven't yet had a loving, serious conversation with them about how much it will mean to you, if they can be there, I definitely would do that asap. If they have serious financial constraints, maybe there are ways you can lessen the impact on them, like helping them find an inexpensive place to stay or possibly helping with their expenses. If after having an honest conversation, they can't come, then I agree that while it will be disappointing, I'd try to focus on the friends and family who will be there to share your day. Best wishes!

Thanks for understanding

Thank you everyone for your comments I really appreciate it.

The other ladies have said it best.
I am soooo sorry that this is happening. If it IS because of health or money- and not because they are just being jerks- maybe try and Skype or FaceTime the Wedding?
I know it’s not what you’d like, but this way they can still be a, small, part of your big day...
Best wishes to you and your fiancé!

I dont feel bad at all!! Even with both of FHs parents attending I still dont feel bad. Both of mine are toxic. Will do a FIL/DIL dance with FHs father and im good with that.

People have these stereotypes about what happens at weddings, expecting their parents to be excited, maybe to be involved in wedding planning, etc. Unfortunately, your relatives don't change just because it's a wedding. If they were selfish before, they will be selfish now. All you can do is recognize you didn't exactly luck out in the parent department, and work at establishing a better family with your FI now.

Hi Gloria,

I think it all depends on where they live or your relationship with them.

I am extremely close to mine and my mother is ill and I take care of her and recently moved her and my dad in with us so if they did not come I would be very upset and sad that I probably would not go forward in the wedding and make arrangements to make sure they come.

Everyone's situations are different though so my situation cannot really answer or relate to anyones to much. But to answer your question, I would not be able to do it without them. Like I said it depends on everyones relationships.

Arlene sorry to hear that ur mom is ill, and yes ur so right every situation is different but at the end they are my parents ,and money or health is the issue.i talked to my mom and she said they had to work and then said how they were going to Central America in May but they can’t come to my wedding so I’m going to stop feeling hurt and just move on from this.im still going to marry my FH and enjoy that day.

View Quoted Comment I am so very sorry that your parents are choosing to skip your wedding for their trip. Work is something I can, almost, understand, but, Not the taking a trip and skipping their daughters wedding!

Move on and enjoy celebrating with those who decided to help you celebrate.

Thanks Jennifer for your kind words and I would definitely go ahead and move on and celebrate my wedding I’m super excited that I’m getting married and I’m not gonna let that bring my day down anymore.