Huge Family/guest List Struggles

Yeah, I think you definitely need to sit down and rough out a budget. FH's family should get some input since they're contributing, but definitely make sure the people you want to be there are there, and they can fill in the extra seats as they want to. I have a feeling you'll end up having to give them a firm number of invites to play with

Does your venue limit the number of people you can invite?

I would cut your FMIL's friends if they are not important to the groom. (we did.) Tell your FH he has to make the cuts. Agree on a number of guests and then tell him to cut.

No, there probably isn't an easy way around it. Finding a venue and creating the guest list were the hardest parts for us. I still regret not getting to invite some people. (Combined, we have a lot of family.) You will for sure upset someone a bit, but remember who is important for you guys AS A COUPLE. Maybe Cousin Whatever who you haven't met doesn't need to come.

I agree with Kelly that you need to sit down, figure out your budget and how many people you can reasonably host. Then you should each get a fixed number of guests: you, FH, your parents, and his parents. They are helping to host and you are giving them a say in the guest list, but only to an extent. Once they run out of guests, that's it. They can make cuts however they want. The same is true of FH's guests. If he wants to have more family there, then he can have fewer friends.

Oh my... finally SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS!!! This is my issue to a tee except I have heard no verbal contribution commitment. That's completely fine BUT if that's the case, I don't feel the need to invite everyone and their mother. Apparently we are "required" to invite all of the parents of the people in our wedding party who we 1. Barely know or 2. Do not speak to because that's "customary". What? Why? There are TONS of people on the list that I don't, nor my fiance, knows. We're at 260 invites as of now and we have to be under 200. All the while, me and my FH will be personally paying for 3/4 of the wedding (majority of that being me because his wedding contribution is OT checks and we can't really estimate a solid number for that) and my parents are paying for a quarter of it. I have also gotten the push back from my parents on this being a really large wedding. Do I disagree? Not at all! But it puts me in such an awkward position to say something to the in laws. We opted to have the wedding in the town that we went to college (I just recently graduated and this is mutual ground for everyone) but that isn't really "close" to a lot of the guests. Hopefully that shaves some of the list down. Girl, I feel your pain completely.

If your Future Husband will not stick up for you now, there will be more problems down the road. Sorry

That's a tough one...FH and I both have big families as well. But, we spoke about following suit with what a lot of my cousins have Done. Parents, Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles get priority invites. I'll even go as far as great aunts and uncles. We cut out children (which will filter out some people who can't get a sitter. Harsh but it worked lol) and it opens up room for close friends and cousins that can fill in spaces. I separated our guests into A, B & C listers. If A listers cannot make it and/or don't RSVP their spots are filled with B listers and so on. We let our parents know ahead of time, some feelings might get hurt, but unless someone else is forking over money to help with catering costs...then that's just how it has to be. At the end of the day, someone is going to have SOMETHING to gripe about. But don't allow this days to become stressful and not fun for you. It's yours and your FH's day!