My son is getting married in a few weeks (I'm divorced with a long time bf). He & his fiancee are paying for the wedding. The wedding is 3 hours in her hometown, but they live nearby me. The brides mother has been involved with her daughter with flowers, photos, food, etc. They are having about 100 people. I was given no guests to invite, not even family members, so just my bf & I. The bride has many aunts/uncles and cousins coming as well as family and work friends. I offered to pay for my guests if that was the issue, they said no, they just didn't want any more people so I dropped it. I offered to pay for their save the date notices which they accepted and I did, but that was before I knew I was going to be cut out of everything. I've stayed out of planning except to ask occasionally what was going on and how things were coming along. I threw her a wedding shower (cost me $$'s since I had to rent a tent & tables and order food, etc.) and invited her mom & sisters and they declined. I found out her mom was giving her a shower the next weekend, I was not invited. Since it's going to be out of town, I realized I will need a place to do my hair while there. I've booked a hotel room for myself and my bf near the wedding location. I asked the bride yesterday about a potential place to get my hair done only to find out that she, her bridesmaids and mother are all doing a hair and makeup activity at a salon that day. She said the salon was all booked up. I was not invited. I am beyond hurt. I'm trying to get over it, but I have this vision of myself going to a different salon by myself that day, my bf and I having nothing to do in our hotel hanging around while they're off getting gussied up. I get knots in my stomach just thinking about it. I texted my son and told him how hurt I was and told him not to mention it to his fiancee. He said she was preoccupied with the wedding and she just didn't think of it and she wouldn't intentionally hurt my feelings, and she would 'feel terrible' if she knew. He then said her mother booked the appointment. How have others in this situation let go of their hurt feelings? I don't want to be upset with her and of course she'll be in my life a long time, but it seems so thoughtless after I've helped them out in so many ways. (When I moved in with my bf I sold them my house at below market rate at 0% interest, she also lived with me for several years when her mother moved away and she had nowhere to go.)
I don't want to cause a rift, I just looking for help to let go of my hurt and anger.