Hurt Feelings - Mother of Groom not invited to participate in day of activities

I am going through the same thing. Except my son is paying for the total wedding NOT the bride.

Just remember brides you reap what you sow. Thank goodness I have other son's who are more thoughtful. Parents are people too.. Treat us rudely and WE REMEMBER.

I am sorry that your feelings are hurt. As a MOB, I have tried to consider the MOG’s feelings. We invited her family members & also allowed her to invite friends. Now here is the part that is really important for you. Get your feelings out…kickboxing, yoga, journaling, etc. I want you to show up joyful on the day of the wedding without any hurt feelings! You have already expressed stuff to your son, now let it all go! Enjoy being with your boyfriend & getting your hair done. Enjoy having a relaxed pace & having time to yourselves! And yes we all want to hear more about the rehearsal dinner!

I see this is an old thread - bet very interesting to read through.

I invited my future (step) mother in law and sister in law to do hair and make up with us and they will be their with me and my mom and girls the morning of. I did also invite my FMIL (biological) - who declined and wanted nothing to do with the wedding planning etc... Truthfully I am very happy she declined because I think it would have been awkward as his step mother and mother never met.

Interestingly enough - his step mother has stepped into the MOG role and is planning a rehearsal dinner / doing bridal things with me and my family in a very gracious and elegant way that makes sure she is not stepping on his biological mom's toes.

View Quoted Comment I was only given or allowed to invite 10 people or have 10 invitations for a wedding that is having a total of 250 people. And I’ve been left out of things but I guess I will have to get over it won’t I?

View Quoted Comment EXACTLY MY POINT

View Quoted Comment I rarely see my son and last year he told me he wanted to meet his girlfriend and mom had sent out chocolates.


I wasn't sure what to do so I took my son and his girlfriend out to dinner. I selected a nice Italian restaurant and friends told me, don't ask questions. Keep the conversation light, be friendly, and drink wine. Check.
I met them for dinner and the bill I picked up. I waa prepared, and the bill was hefty. I thought my son would appreciate my effort, but it was awkward.
A few months later, he announced he was getting married, and then he didn't want to give me an invite to the engagement party. I got one and went. I stayed out of the way, and he acted bad after.
I flew home and then asked about a rehearsal dinner, etc. No response.This is my only child and I raisedvhim alone since he was an infant because his dad left us for a new adventure.
I started to look at dresses, shoes, earings. Etc. I gave up on the rehearsal dinner.
I got everything together and his dad passed away 15 years ago, so it was just me. My son called and said he knew I felt unwelcome and he knew I wanted him yo say I was uninvited, snd so after all the expense, an altered dressed, shoes, purse,etc, hotel costs. Airfare. Etc. I'm uninvited. A friend said that's total BS --- GO! You're his mother!!!
I've tried to stay out of the way and not interfere. I'm beyond hurt!!! It's like a sword being put through your soul.
I wasn't a perfect mom, but I gave 180%. O put him through college, and hesnon his way but this is so mean.
You tried to be their. As a grooms mother your role is very limited. We don't have a lot of family. He invited a cousin from his dad's side who has declined to come. No shock there, the family has never been in our lives.
My sister's daughter is invited, and his 1/2 siblings-- who are in the wedding as a way to have his dad there, but the guy was rarely there.
My son's in laws to be are so thrilled with him and the mother told me she knew he had a good mom because he knocked her off her feet, but to me, I'm his bearing board, now I'm uninvited.
I don't know what to do. Go, snd hope for the best or quit....get back what I can get and then close the door.
I could have never of considered telling my family not to come to the wedding.
I don't thonk parents need invites to a wedding. I think it's our day too. It's not the union of just 2 people, it's the union of 2 families, and then my son wants to move back to California and then he'll expect help but if I don't go to the wedding, chances are I'll move out of his life permanently.
Here's what I think. The mother is obviously making it all about her and her daughter.
Go yo the wedding. Get you own make up person rhe day of. Go to the rehearsal f dinner--- and go to the wedding and try to enjoy.
I've told my son, I'm coming. I have a lot going on in my life at the moment and I want to get through this wedding. That comment to my son is what got me uninvited.
A wedding is stressful, but so is moving and changing jobs and when all 3vhappen at once, it's a lot.
Look, these kids will become parents and one day it will come back on them. It will be their turn to take the hit and it won't feel good.

View Quoted Comment

Instead of resurrecting old threads and others that are over ten years old, I'd start a new one if you are looking for feedback. There's obviously more to your story. It makes no sense that you were uninvited for saying you're coming to the wedding if there was no rift previous to your comment. It sounds like pushing your son without first addressing your issues is what got you uninvited. That was not a smart thing to do.

View Quoted Comment I hope the wedding went well. My son a year and a half ago told me his girlfriend wanted to meet me. I wasn't sure what to do. My friends told me to host them for dinner, be cordial. don't ask questions, smile, and drink wine. I could do that! So I made reservations at a nice zitalian Restaurant... the bill was $$$$, but I wasn't sure what was going on, so OK.


They left after and the ending was weird.
A few months later my son calls to say he's buying thisvgirl a ring. A few months later I'm in their city, I choose to stay in a hotel, and he blows up at me because I questioned him about colleges.
I saw him for about an hour.
I asked about the engagement party and he sent me an invite to which i went back cross country to attend.
In Nov of 23 he was coming out, wanted to ho to dinner. I told him I had just booked my flight and he was so angry he cancelled seeing me for the holidays...I was told to ask him all the questions. I wanted to pay for the rehearsal dinner. Months went NY and nothing
Now we are down to two weeks. I have my gown and it was altered. I have my shoes. Purse, arings. Bracelet. And DONT forget the SPANX for the big day. I have my rehearsal outfit. Nail, hair, and facials have been booked. Airlines tickets. Hotels. Uber, and the extras like a portable steamer, jewelry tote. Etc.
What happens as I've been sitting in the dark knowing nothing... I'm uninvited!!! My only child, a lot of time, effort, expense and I'm uninvited.
I'm devastated! It's like a sword going through me. Every mother waits for this date, but something happened.
I've gotten through the worst of it now. I canceled my airfares and hotels. I sent a small gift to the bride, a letter to her mom to wish her the best, and the custom wedding gift I'll send, but then I'm done.
For me. I'm taking a trip somewhere while my son marries. But I have a message for any bride and groom, leave your family out, expect a reaction to an action.
For me. I'm closing the door. My son can't come back. I want no pictures and don't call and say you had a baby-- not available!!
I gave 180% to being a mom, and if this is how you reward me, thanks. Good Luck

View Quoted Comment Your are still posting on a ten year thread and your story still makes no sense.


Apparently the rift started because you simply “asked him about colleges? And after one dinner ended awkwardly? Now it’s permanent because you believe you had a right to crash a wedding you were banned from and you want nothing to do with your own son again no matter what? Again, there’s obviously far more to this story.

Sorry, another thread was ten years old. This one is "only" almost four.

View Quoted Comment I'm in this exact boat! I. Beyond hurt