Hurt

It sounds like you're treating the relationship as transactional. I suggest having an honest conversation with your son about why you're not allowed a partner without trying to pay your way.

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I have tried, he doesn't care about my feelings. I agreed to pay for the caterer way before I knew I wasn't allowed to bring my boyfriend.

So, are you in a relationship with someone? I'm not sure what you mean by "issues". If you are in a relationship, they should be invited, according to etiquette.

A "plus one" is for truly single people and is not obligatory. However, the wedding isn't until a year away, so why are you asking about this now?

View Quoted Comment Your tone sounds to me like you may be trying to guilt him into doing what you want. Explain to him how you feel but don't blame him for your feelings. Starting with "I feel" and speaking in passive voice is usually good. Offering to help pay for vendors is very nice, but if you're expecting concessions in return it will likely be off-putting and upsetting for them. Also without assigning blame, you can ask why your partner is not invited.

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I feel like we don't have the whole story here. OP, I think more details would help us help you.

I think a lot of this depends on what you mean by “going through issues”. Do you mean you are going through issues with your spouse? If there are some serious issues in the relationship, that may very well alter the way your son views your partner and your relationship. For example, if you are constantly breaking up and making up, or if there is some kind of abuse in the relationship, your son would rightly be hesitant to invite this person to such an intimate affair.

A +1 is for truly single people. Your son is indicating that he doesn't want to invite your BF of 6 years for whatever reason. Maybe he disapproves the relationship or it has something to do with the issues going on. Or perhaps he's going by the Emily Post rule that invitations are mandatory only for those married, engaged or living together. Or it really is about the photographer.

Ultimately, polite or not, he has the right as host to make the guest list, and you have the right to discuss it with him further, or to refrain from paying for an event your partner is excluded from attending.

I've never heard of a photographer making a firm limit on the number of guests rather on their time. That's not to say it doesn't happen. You can certainly offer to pay the photographer extra if that's really the sticking point.