Husband Likes Oral, but i don’t

I’m sorry you are dealing with this .. obviously if you are not comfortable with it then you don’t have to do it. Maybe you guys can compromise and find a happy medium.. there are so many other things to other than oral — maybe you can try different exercises to help you be more comfortable or something to get your mind off of it ??? Idk lol I’m sorry I don’t have much advice on that

How did this not come up when you were dating and then engaged? Did you wait for sex until you were married?


I can't help out much here since I love giving and receiving oral. There are flavored lubes and flavored condoms that might help you feel more comfortable giving oral. Like the other commenter said, you dont have to do anything that you don't want to....but he might end up getting someone else give him oral if he can't get it at home (sorry, but men can suck like that).

If this is something you truly believe neither of you can get past, I suggest seeing a therapist. I don’t think you have to do something just because he wants you to, but I also think it’s cause for concern that you think he won’t get over you not doing it.

It's your body and you don't have to do anything with it that you don't want, not even for your husband. I think it's absolutely atrocious to suggest flavored lubes so that you can get over it or to use scare tactics like "he'll get it from somewhere else" if you don't do it. If he does get it from somewhere else, I guess that shows you what kind of person he is. I agree that this is something that should have been discussed and resolved before the wedding, but hindsight is 20/20. Seeking sex therapy, or general couples counseling, is a great suggestion. There's a multitude of alternatives to oral sex and there's no reason you should have to do anything you don't want to.

Anything you guys can try to make it fun? E.g. diff flavored edible things, etc.

Along with my first post - I agree maybe therapy would be a help, esp since you don’t think it’s something he can go without and you don’t see yourself ever being okay with doing it

If this was something he knew about prior to your marriage then he can't complain now. I do not agree with being pressured into doing anything you aren't comfortable with (even with flavored/condoms/etc) simply to make him happy. My fiance and I have been together ten years and there are things he likes that I simply do not enjoy. We have a policy that we try it once and if either of us are uncomfortable/hate it then we stop and never do that thing again. It's a respect thing on top of trust and it sounds like you don't have a lot of respect for each other if he's pressuring you into something you hate.

I would suggest a therapist. How did this not come up while you were engaged or even dating? Even if you were holding off until marriage, this should have been talked about. All men and most women enjoy it. If you’re not comfortable with that, he should understand.

Why dont you look into alternatives, such as only giving oral after a shower? That might help make it a little less gross to you? The only reason I say this is because while I think it is very important that you do not do anything you are uncomfortable with (your body, your choice!!), it is also important to consider your husband's wants. For example, if he gives you oral and you enjoy receiving it, it doesn't seem fair that you do not do it. Also, you can look into doing other things that will take his mind off of wanting oral? My fiance used to looove oral but once we began having more frequent sex, he stopped caring for or even asking about oral.