Husband's Dad Passed Away 3 Days After Wedding

I’m so sorry for this. I would encourage and help him in finding a good therapist that specializes in grief. Be patient with him, give hugs when he needs them and space when he doesn’t. ZocDoc is a helpful site for finding therapists (or any doctor) covered by your insurance.

First, I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband’s father. Regardless of the relationship or the individual’s behavior, I can’t imagine how hard that would be. The decision was made out of the safety of your loved ones for him not to attend and still was the right decision, but of course, easier said then done to accept that under these unique circumstances. Continue to be a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on and as hard as these things are they do get better in time. His father is now free of alcoholism and in a better place and his spirit understands the decision. Again I’m so sorry and hope he finds healing. ❤️🙏🏻

"How do I help him through this?"

Hard to swallow pill: you can't.

Your best course of action is to lovingly suggest a grief counselor/therapist. Even people with the best relationships with their parent when they die benefit from counseling, and your husband is dealing with a very complex grief scenario that a qualified professional will be able to help him navigate.

The best you can do is: don't expect specific behaviors out of him, and be willing to just listen. Don't try to problem-solve - there is no problem to be solved. Don't offer what-ifs, don't even try to tell him "you made the best choice you could," because that will hurt right now - it says, "the best choice was to alienate your dad right before he died." And in truth it was the best decision, but that isn't what needs to be said right now. When I say "don't expect specific behaviors out of him," I mean let him experience the grief as it comes and in whatever way it comes to him. Don't expect (or bait) him to talk, if he wants to, he will. Let him be as he will be, and be there to hold him if he wants (some people don't find touch comforting), be there to listen if he wants to talk.

You may also consider counseling, not because you are grieving, but sometimes a grieving partner can leave you feeling helpless and isolated. Counseling will help you navigate your "caretaker" feelings that are natural for you to feel right now.

Sorry for your loss all you can is be there for your husband congrats on getting married