Husband's Female Friend

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I have a couple of male friends as well, but they never call me. We text on occasional or will Snapchat each other, but it never is when I am spending time with him.

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He just defends her which makes me even more angry. He seems to think that this is how all friendships are and that I just don't understand because I don't have a lot of friends.

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I believe she has stopped discussing her sex life with him after I confronted him about it. I had enough of her constantly calling just to discuss her sex life. She would literally call and only discuss sex with him. It made me so uncomfortable. He didn't see anything from with it. One of our good friends told him he needed to put a serious stop to it and that seemed to make him see that it wasn't normal that this girl was opening talking to him about her sex life. His friend is the type of person that would probably just scream at me and tell me she is going to do whatever she wants. She isn't the type of person to respect what I say. Her and I have had our issues in the past.

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He won't do anything about it because he feels it is perfectly normal. He defends her and says that this is how friendships work.

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He wouldn't care. He feels I am being jealous and petty. He isn't the jealous type at all. Unfortunately, I don't think talking to her would help. If anything, I think it would make the situation worse. She has the attitude that she's going to do what she wants and no one is going to tell her otherwise which is probably why my husband is one of her few friends. Most of our other friends can't stand her. My entire family dislikes her because she is disrespectful. She bashed me and my bridesmaids when we went dress shopping. She also claimed to my sister-in-law about me the morning of our wedding. Her and I have had our problems in the past. Whenever my husband and I are around her we tend to get into arguments. He doesn't seem to see that though. For some reason, it's like she gets a free pass to do whatever she wants in his mind. His friends have tried talking to him about her, but he is just like that's how she is.

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I might try seeing how he responds to that, but I doubt it will do much good.

View Quoted Comment Ahhhhh she is to you what my “charming” 23yo stepdaughter to be is to me.... Sadly, she lives with us. And I hope you guys can figure out that this is a toxic person. Let me think in ways and I’ll get back to you- dealing with the “charming” one now.

It’s really disrespectful how he isn’t setting boundaries with her and letting her be disrespectful.

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Oh I know she is, but the problem is that he doesn't seem to. She has literally complained to him about me, but he still puts up with her. It's like she never does anything wrong. Hell, she even talked to me behind his back when him and I broke up for two months and he still forgave her for that. He excuses her behavior for some reason.

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I don't think he seems an issue with her behavior at all.

View Quoted Comment It doesn't matter what he thinks, here, it's how it makes you feel.


He is prioritizing her feelings and needs over yours and that is a very fast way to kill a marriage.

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It's hard because he doesn't see it this way. I hate arguing over her, but I am to the point that I am just so frustrated that I don't know what to do.

View Quoted Comment Yeah, if he's uncomfortable with it, that's a whole separate issue. It sounds like he needs to be more firm with her about what his boundaries are in the friendship.

For me...personally speaking, if a person is not a friend or friendly with you AND your spouse and makes either of you feel uncomfortable that's a friendship that needs to come to an end. When you're married it's about being one and that marriage supersedes any friendship.

If I were you I'd tell your husband flat out that you're not comfortable with the situation and do what you need to do to show you mean business.

Your Husband may need to tone it down a bit with his female friend. I understand she is important to her but you are his wife and come first

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I would become close friends with her bf and start calling him every day to ask for advice. See how she likes it.

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Yes!! He should never prioritize a friendship over a marriage. He needs to just dump her and cut ties. It's not ideal but your marriage is most important.

This may sound unhealthy to most people but my FH and I sort of have an unspoken pact that we dont have any friends of the opposite sex. i know most people will find that ridiculous but it works for us. we’ve been together 6 years no arguments.

View Quoted Comment Hahah i love Mel’s replies

I would pray about it and have a conversation about boundaries with opposite sex friendships.