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Champion July 2019

Husband's Female Friend

Veronica, on May 11, 2020 at 8:50 PM

Posted in Married Life 40

My husband has a female friend that he has been best friends with for about 10 years. She was even in our wedding. I have never really liked her, but she is important to him so I have tolerated her for his sake. She is dating one of his friends. I have recently found myself growing more avoided with...

My husband has a female friend that he has been best friends with for about 10 years. She was even in our wedding. I have never really liked her, but she is important to him so I have tolerated her for his sake. She is dating one of his friends. I have recently found myself growing more avoided with her than usual. She is currently searching for a house and has been constantly calling my husband who is in construction for his opinions and things on each house she sees. She is buying the house with the boyfriend so he goes with her to look at them and I feel it is a decision she needs to make with him without calling my husband all of the time. My husband says he boyfriend doesn't know as much about houses which is why she comes to my husband. We have gotten into several arguments because her constant calling is getting on my nerves. I am not sure how to deal with these feelings. Any advice?

40 Comments

  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I have a couple of male friends as well, but they never call me. We text on occasional or will Snapchat each other, but it never is when I am spending time with him.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    He just defends her which makes me even more angry. He seems to think that this is how all friendships are and that I just don't understand because I don't have a lot of friends.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I believe she has stopped discussing her sex life with him after I confronted him about it. I had enough of her constantly calling just to discuss her sex life. She would literally call and only discuss sex with him. It made me so uncomfortable. He didn't see anything from with it. One of our good friends told him he needed to put a serious stop to it and that seemed to make him see that it wasn't normal that this girl was opening talking to him about her sex life. His friend is the type of person that would probably just scream at me and tell me she is going to do whatever she wants. She isn't the type of person to respect what I say. Her and I have had our issues in the past.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    He won't do anything about it because he feels it is perfectly normal. He defends her and says that this is how friendships work.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    He wouldn't care. He feels I am being jealous and petty. He isn't the jealous type at all. Unfortunately, I don't think talking to her would help. If anything, I think it would make the situation worse. She has the attitude that she's going to do what she wants and no one is going to tell her otherwise which is probably why my husband is one of her few friends. Most of our other friends can't stand her. My entire family dislikes her because she is disrespectful. She bashed me and my bridesmaids when we went dress shopping. She also claimed to my sister-in-law about me the morning of our wedding. Her and I have had our problems in the past. Whenever my husband and I are around her we tend to get into arguments. He doesn't seem to see that though. For some reason, it's like she gets a free pass to do whatever she wants in his mind. His friends have tried talking to him about her, but he is just like that's how she is.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I might try seeing how he responds to that, but I doubt it will do much good.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP October 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    Ahhhhh she is to you what my “charming” 23yo stepdaughter to be is to me.... Sadly, she lives with us. And I hope you guys can figure out that this is a toxic person. Let me think in ways and I’ll get back to you- dealing with the “charming” one now.
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  • Jasmine
    Devoted May 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    It’s really disrespectful how he isn’t setting boundaries with her and letting her be disrespectful.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    Oh I know she is, but the problem is that he doesn't seem to. She has literally complained to him about me, but he still puts up with her. It's like she never does anything wrong. Hell, she even talked to me behind his back when him and I broke up for two months and he still forgave her for that. He excuses her behavior for some reason.

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    I don't think he seems an issue with her behavior at all.

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  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
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    It doesn't matter what he thinks, here, it's how it makes you feel.


    He is prioritizing her feelings and needs over yours and that is a very fast way to kill a marriage.
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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    It's hard because he doesn't see it this way. I hate arguing over her, but I am to the point that I am just so frustrated that I don't know what to do.

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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    Yeah, if he's uncomfortable with it, that's a whole separate issue. It sounds like he needs to be more firm with her about what his boundaries are in the friendship.
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  • Ellie
    Devoted January 2020
    Ellie ·
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    For me...personally speaking, if a person is not a friend or friendly with you AND your spouse and makes either of you feel uncomfortable that's a friendship that needs to come to an end. When you're married it's about being one and that marriage supersedes any friendship.

    If I were you I'd tell your husband flat out that you're not comfortable with the situation and do what you need to do to show you mean business.

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  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
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    Your Husband may need to tone it down a bit with his female friend. I understand she is important to her but you are his wife and come first

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  • M
    Savvy June 2021
    Mel H ·
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    I would become close friends with her bf and start calling him every day to ask for advice. See how she likes it.

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  • M
    Savvy June 2021
    Mel H ·
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    Yes!! He should never prioritize a friendship over a marriage. He needs to just dump her and cut ties. It's not ideal but your marriage is most important.

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  • Queen Cone
    Devoted September 2020
    Queen Cone ·
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    This may sound unhealthy to most people but my FH and I sort of have an unspoken pact that we dont have any friends of the opposite sex. i know most people will find that ridiculous but it works for us. we’ve been together 6 years no arguments.
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  • Queen Cone
    Devoted September 2020
    Queen Cone ·
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    Hahah i love Mel’s replies
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  • Mson
    Savvy February 2020
    Mson ·
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    I would pray about it and have a conversation about boundaries with opposite sex friendships.
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