HUsbands on Night Shift girls???? VENT!!!

Oh what I get to look forward to, Fh just said he prob will be working nights soon.

Girls, all of you thank you for the support, I do plan on talking to him when I actually see him! Thank you for all your advice!!

My FH and I are both in law enforcement. When we first started dating we were both on nights with the same days off. Fortunately, I was able to move to a section in our department where I work Mon-Fri, 7:30-4. My FH still works nights. What we do is when I go to bed at night he comes to bed too, and watches tv in bed. We get the best of both worlds I get to snuggle with him and fall asleep and he gets to stay up and watch tv. I hope it works out for you and you both are able to come to a compromise.

My FI works night shift as well. There are times when it really puts a strain on our relationship b/c we are just always on opposite schedules. We've just had to work really hard at taking advantage of the time we do have together.

I echo what the other ladies said on here about cuddling and finding a way to make time for each other... I had a tendency to only sleep 5-6 hours during the week so when he got home from work we would have 1-2 hours together (he worked 2nd, I work an EARLY first)... He also will get up with my alarm and help me get ready for work and then go back to bed.

My FH isn't good w/ sleeping w anyone haha I toss and turn..he snores..they dont mix well. he sleeps in the guest room and i sleep in the main bedroom. My daughter has her own room..When I'm tired I just want to sleep..so I'm ok w/ that..he's just not good about affection and I love it..lol

FH and I arent married yet, but MY 6pm - 6am overnight job makes it a challenge to find time to snuggle in bed together. All we can do is take full advantage of the time we do have together and savor it. You said "not the way newlyweds should start out," well, every relationship and every marriage is different. Theres no schedule you two SHOULD have, and jobs are a necessity, we cant always plan our work around our home life unfortunately. As Tim Gunn would say, Make it work!

FH used to work night shift but now he works 5 am- 3 pm..which means he's getting up at 3:30 every morning, and going to bed around 8:30 every night..I work 8:30 am-5 pm...don't get home until 6...but we adjusted. I now wake up at 4 am so we see each other in the morning, and I try to go to bed around 8:30 pm so I can be with him...and if I can't sleep, I just get up and go about my business.

Just make the most out of the little bit of time you have together, and talk to him (like everyone else has said)...I actually like our seperate shifts..it gives us both time to do our own thing (although I wish we had a little more together time..)

My husband has work nights ever since we got together 4 years ago. i hate it, he doesnt understand it. ive been trying to get him to quit that job also, i hate that place in all honesty cuz theres a bar there and only girls work there and they are there at night too. theres been stuff thats went on where i thought he was cheatin on me before we got married. i have bad anxiety and i am afraid of teh dark and i could swear to you that the house were housesitting is haunted...i just want to have my husband home at night with me im pregnant and i dont know how were gonna do this or get to sleep together anymore. i also think our sex life is dying theres not alot of passion; i say i look liek crap sometimes when i feel like crap he says i always look good but i think he sugar coats it sometimes. i hate it when im here at night alone with just my dog. i hate that i feel like getting a fuck machine. what do i do?

I def know how you feel! its a horrible, lonely, and depresssing feeling. i have a 7-4pm job and my husband works 230-11pm ( some nights until 1am for OT ). he is in the Navy ( and has drill one weekend a month ), so we honestly see eachother 6 days a month. its been going on for almost a year and a half now. it has ruined our relationship to the point i cry at least twice a week and feel like we have no connection. he has applied to other jobs, but no luck. he needs the job for our bills. its really frustrating and a no win situation. we dont talk to his family, and my family lives down south. so other than seeing a few girlfriends here and there, its just me and the dog. i have been to counseling about this and she said it all comes back to his shift. so at this point, i just try to stay positive, busy, and hope something will come about.

so again, your not alone. hopefully your husband will find a new job and you two can re-connect. good luck with everything

Speaking as a woman who went through 7 years of living like a monk with a husband who worked graveyard, you have one of 2 choices to make and it includes your husband. If he wants this marriage to work, the xbox has to be limited. He has to understand you are not his roommate, you are his wife and your needs are not being met and quite frankly there is only so long you can go with no laughter, no intimacy, no touch, no play, no sex, no socializing and doing everything on your own. Trust me, it killed my marriage. What is the point of being married if you are always alone? It builds up anger, frustration and resentment. Resentment can only go so long internally before it shows up externally.

You need to decide if you can spend the rest of your life like this. The hard reality is 60% of marriages with a partner who works graveyard don't survive. It already sounds after one year of marriage that you are heading down the same road I went down on my first marriage and it didn't survive.

The best marriages are the ones on the same page. The ones that last 50+ years are when each one is happy. When you're not, it's like living a prison sentence with no parole. The best marriages are the ones where each partner puts the needs of their partner ahead of their own and vice versa that way each partner gets their needs met and everyone is happy. He needs to understand that you need him more than he needs his xbox. While I get that he is a firefighter, when he comes home, you need to be his downtime not the videogames. You need intimacy for a marriage to survive (it's what holds you together) and quite frankly you need sex. There are times and places for things. Yes there is time for the xbox but his wife's needs to feel happy with him for this marriage to work long term. I wish you luck. I begged, pleaded, cried to the point of hysterics to get my ex to listen and all I ever got was a hug and an "ok". ok is not enough if that's all you get.

My husband works overnights at the local Wal-Mart and we are newlyweds and he will not sleep with me on his days off. And what's worse is that I try to be intimate and he just goes until he gets off and then it's all over and I have not got off in the past month at least he will foreplay like crazy but after that it's 2 maybe 3 mins and it's all over. What should I do?

Oh hun I really know how you feel. My partner recently started working nights and I absolutely hate it. I hate going to bed alone, and just as I'm getting up with out 1 year old daughter he is coming to bed. So we are literally like passing ships. He sleeps during the day till around 1 ish, them he's back tonwork for 8:45. So that's the only time i get with him. And with a 1 year old and a house to run, you can imagine how busy I am. So he sits on the sofa on his phone or the laptop while I'm running around doing everything else. When I do sit down he's always to busy or to tired to talk. So we don't. He then gets ready for work just as I'm putting the baby down. And that's it, he's gone again. I resent his job, I know I shouldn't and that's probably very selfish of me, cause he's the sole wage earner. But I miss him....I miss him so much. I cry myself to sleep most nights, I reach out in bed and he's not there. I am so lonely. It makes me ache.

Oh hun I really know how you feel. My partner recently started working nights and I absolutely hate it. I hate going to bed alone, and just as I'm getting up with out 1 year old daughter he is coming to bed. So we are literally like passing ships. He sleeps during the day till around 1 ish, them he's back tonwork for 8:45. So that's the only time i get with him. And with a 1 year old and a house to run, you can imagine how busy I am. So he sits on the sofa on his phone or the laptop while I'm running around doing everything else. When I do sit down he's always to busy or to tired to talk. So we don't. He then gets ready for work just as I'm putting the baby down. And that's it, he's gone again. I resent his job, I know I shouldn't and that's probably very selfish of me, cause he's the sole wage earner. But I miss him....I miss him so much. I cry myself to sleep most nights, I reach out in bed and he's not there. I am so lonely. It makes me ache.

I am going through the same exact thing! I have been married for almost 8 months, my husband works 3rd shift and I work 1st. I thought I was wrong for feeling like this but I see now that I'm not the only one. I miss my husband. He comes home around 4am, takes a shower, eat, and plays on the PS4 until about 6am. I go to bed alone too and he won't lay with me until I fall asleep on the weekends because he's not sleepy, but will get mad because I won't stay up with him! I don't know what to do...I'm sad!

Leave him !

View Quoted Comment I was going to ask this same thing. FH works different shifts at his job for X amount of days. When he's on mid shift he will come lay down with me when I go to sleep, then once I fall asleep he eats, goes through his mail from that day that I brought in and then plays his video game for a couple hours or watches tv until he gets sleepy.
Have you suggested this to your husband yet?