i am engaged and my parents don’t approve, for a variety of reasons.

This is such a personal thing. You know your relationship and your partner much better than us, so take my advice and experience with a grain of salt.

Personally, I wouldn't.

It's totally not impossible that you will be the one in a million that are the perfect couple and will stay together, but the average person changes so much between 15 and 30. I am so, so grateful I didn't marry my high school boyfriends. Beyond that, if you had full time careers I think my thoughts would be different. My parents met in their very early 20s, married within 6 months and have been together for 53 years. But... they were in their careers when they did that and had fairly set expectations of how their lives would look before they dived in.

Your parents are correct in saying that if you're right for each other, then there is no harm in waiting until you are both settled in your careers and more financially stable.

The other thing is, you've been together such a long time and have grown up with each other. Have you had an opportunity to date other people? It's hard to know whether your relationship is healthy and whether anything is a red flag if it's all you've ever known - I normalised so much in my teen and early 20s relationships that in retrospect were super unhealthy and I can't believe I put up with any of it looking back.

I do believe that when you know, you know - and I wish a long and happy marriage for you - hopefully to your guy! But I also think that it's understandable that your parents have concerns.

Like Rosie said, it's such a personal decision and you know yourself and your relationship better than anyone else. I do know of 2 different couples that were high school sweethearts that are still together, one of which has 4 kids and they're in their 30s, so it is possible that you are one of those few lucky ones.

I, personally, would at least wait until after graduation to really consider marriage.

I have changed so much since I was 15, and even since I was 20 and I'm only 24 now. I learned A LOT about myself during my single years in college and I've grown so much because of it. I also always knew I wanted to wait until after graduation to decide on getting engaged/married. Your lives will be totally different after school and that can really change a relationship. For us, it changed for the better, but for some they aren't so lucky.

So, to answer your question, yes I think their reasons/concerns are valid. But again, you know your relationship better than anyone else. If you are confident in your decision stick to that.

There seem to be a lot of these lately, wonder what's in the water?

I was a young bride. I married my husband at 19, after we had dated for five years. We have been married over 18 years now.

On one hand, I agree with those who say, if you're committed, then waiting shouldn't matter. You should be just as committed five years from now as you are currently, so there is no harm in waiting. Marriage will always be there (assuming your SO is also okay with waiting - there are two people in this, after all. That's a conversation between the two of you.)

On the other hand, I will confidently state that I am glad I didn't wait. I'm glad I didn't hinge my marriage on arbitrary life events like graduating, because my plans for those events changed over time (I ended up graduating four different times - which graduation was "the one to wait for"?)

I will also both echo and contest something else that has been said multiple times - "people change." Yes, they do. But the idea that this happens in some specific time frame is absurd. Anyone who is getting married, at any age, should be prepared that their partner will change over the duration of their marriage, whether you marry at 20 or 60. The statement "people grow and change" is not a good argument against marrying before a certain age.

Now, as I told another young prospective bride on here, wanting to "build a life" is not a good reason to get married. None of your reasons are good reasons to get married. You believe in commitment? Great - but aren't you already committed? You want to buy a house - fabulous, you can do that unmarried, too. If you can do them without being married, they aren't reasons to get married.

When I decided to get married, I didn't have any other reason than "because I want to be married to him." We already lived together, we already had a life together that was wonderful just as it was, and he wasn't going anywhere. He'd have happily waited another fifty years for me to marry him if I'd told him that's what I wanted, and our lives wouldn't have been any different. In my opinion, that is the right reason and time to get married - when you aren't expecting that piece of paper will change things.

If you're wanting to know if they have valid concerns - well, my personal opinion is no, at least of those you've mentioned. "You're too young" is arbitrary, they don't get to decide that you are too young because they could still say that five years from now - then what? Waiting until he has a career is arbitrary, because some people never have "careers" - some people just have jobs, and their marriages are just as valid. And "we wouldn't have gotten married at your age" is utterly irrelevant, because you aren't them. My mom had a baby at 18, and I absolutely never would have done such a thing. What your parents would or would not have done doesn't matter. If those are their only objections, then I wouldn't let those affect my decision. If they have more valid concerns, such as whether or not you will finish college if you get married, how you will support yourselves (you mentioned you have an apartment - are you paying for it with jobs, or college money? If the latter, this is a valid concern), or something about your SO (this isn't always true, but often times outsiders see things you don't - when I got married, my parents expressed absolutely no concerns about my husband whatsoever and in fact assured me that he was a wonderful man), then hear them out.

I will tell you that marrying young is not all sunshine and lollipops - our first year of marriage, we lived in a 500-square-foot apartment and ate ramen noodles and peanut butter sandwiches because it was all we could afford. But I will also tell you that I wouldn't do a single thing differently if I could go back, either.

I would wait I got married when I was 18 and it only lasted 2 years I think you should wait a couple of years and grow as a couple wait until he has a career

Every person and situation is different and some people are able to make things work at a young age. However, that being said and through my own personal experiences, I would probably wait a bit. As Eniale said, many of the things you are listing that you want to do you can do unmarried and those are never reasons to get married. People do grow and change as time goes on, and that goes for every age, but the years between 15 to 20 and then 20 to 30 even are pretty big ones because you're trying to establish yourself and really figure out what you want. Do you feel that you've established that and are confident that he is it? I got engaged at 21 as well and thought he was everything I wanted. Turns out, he wasn't, we ended our relationship and that was that. Now I'm 33 and getting married in a month. But I know people who could make it work much much younger than me.