i am feeling like our venue doesn't care about us

I am a firm believer that having a positive relationship/vibe with your vendors is super important and definitely heightens your whole experience. If you aren’t feeling your venue, you think another more inclusive and more decorated venue would serve you better and lessen your stress (and it’s within your budget), then I say go for it!

You do have some time away to plan, but if you feel as though your venue is ignoring you then it’s probably best to find a different venue. Also it is going to be such a hassle to have to find everything from A through Z when many places do offer Things like plateware and linens and tables etc. Was there anything in particular that they said to you to make you feel this way? Or Is it something along the lines of you’ve asked them questions and they haven’t responded?

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Thank you! Nothing in particular. I have asked questions and their answers haven't been very helpful. For example, we want a big wedding (300+) and without parking, we will have to transport a lot of people to the venue. I asked which transportation company they recommended for transporting larger groups and they listed out all of their preferred transportation vendors and told me those companies typically can only help with transportation for about 100 guests. They have had larger events there in the past, so I am confused why they weren't willing to be more helpful in offering how they have handled that in the past. I followed up and asked, but have not heard back yet. We have had a few similar exchanges where I feel like I get a default answer that doesn't take into consideration the question I am asking. Maybe this is normal for wedding venues to not get too involved in assisting their clients on other vendors?

I know that finding vendors is only a temporary part of wedding planning, so I don't want to give up on the venue just because of that, but I also don't want to be frustrated with them throughout the entire process.

Thanks again for your thoughts all!

You may not like my response, but it seems like you are expecting your venue to also be your wedding planner. They are giving you leads on their preferred vendors, but it is your responsibility to then contact those vendors to see how each of them would meet your needs, etc.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. I think it's normal for venues to not really get involved in your planning. The venue should be there to answer your questions about things directly related to the venue, but your questions about what other couples with guest lists over 100 have done for transportation should instead be directed to the transportation companies.


The venue sent you their list of preferred vendors, but it's up to you to call those vendors to get more information to find which ones will work best for your wedding. If you prefer a venue that has more things included (linens, tables, chairs, etc.), I would try to find a new venue to help alleviate some of that stress of having to find vendors for all those.

The relationship you build with your venue persons says everything about how your venue is going to go. if they treat you like they don't care then that's what your going to get on your wedding day I would suggest looking

Venues typically do not plan weddings; however, they should provide you with a hefty preferred vendor list!!

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. All your venue’s job is is to provide the venue and answer questions about the venue. They’ve provided a list of vendors they worked with in the past. They’re really not required to answer/help with anything else.
It sounds like you may need a planner to assist you in your planning.

Your post said that you booked that specific venue because it was a blank canvas and you were excited that everything would be left up to you to plan and design. But now you want the venue to help with the wedding design and vendors instead? Well, you booked them as your venue, and not as your design company. So, assisting you with creating your wedding vision is not this venue’s job. You stated that it’s a blank canvas, so that means you will have to bring in everything on your own. They can offer a preferred vendor list, but that’s not mandatory. So, with that type of venue, you’ll have to use your “event planning experience” and research all the vendors you’ll need. Otherwise, hire a wedding planner (or design company) since that seems to be what you’re truly looking for.

As for the social media part, that an interesting expectation overall, because being featured on their social media isn’t relevant when it comes to planning your wedding.

Ultimately, it sounds like you excitedly booked a blank canvas venue but now you see it’s a bigger task than you can truly handle (which isn’t the venue’s fault). So, if you’re thinking of finding a new venue solely because they aren’t also acting in the capacity of a wedding planner (and because you aren’t featured on their social media), then I don’t think that’s a super solid reason. But if you want a new venue because you realized that you actually can’t handle planning a wedding from the ground-up and you need a helping hand along the way... then certainly go for a more inclusive venue. Best wishes either way!

It sounds like you don't really know what you want. You started the post by saying that you liked them because they are a blank canvas but now you are uspet that they don't handle wedding planning. You can't have it both ways. Like others mentioned, they were nice enough to provide you a list of preferred vendors but it is up to you to contact those vendors. If you don't want to handle doing everything yourself, then I would hire a wedding planner. Even our venue that handled a lot of things like catering and linens didn't handle contacting and booking vendors.

You mentioned “helping us develop a vision and find vendors.” I have to agree with others that what you’ve described literally defines a wedding planner, not a venue. Perhaps they also have a preferred list of wedding planners who they recommend? Our venue provided us their list of preferred vendors which we were grateful for as a starting point, but in no way did we expect them to play a role beyond that.

My fiancé and I chose a similar venue and had hoped they would work with us more to choose vendors. But we had a similar experience where they give preferred vendor lists (which is super helpful), but don’t otherwise help with the planning/coordination of other vendors until much closer to the date. But I’m not willing to wait/hope that happens. Our wedding is in October 2022 and vendors around here seem to be booking up fast.


We’re going to hire a wedding planner to take the stress off of us, which should be a HUGE help. Consider looking into that—in the end it might be cheaper than going out and putting a deposit on a new venue. And ours has been good about helping brainstorming ideas.

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I agree with this. Though the appeal of blank slate venues is that you have freedom to do what you want without preffered vendors, which blank slates don't have to begin with. You need to contact the vendors yourself to create the vision you want. Many require that you hire a coordinator for that reason. Their own employees only care that are following the policies you agreed to. If you want guidance every step, then an all inclusive is your best bet.

View Quoted Comment I agree with Natalie. Unless your venue is providing a wedding planner (not venue coordinator) there is nothing for them to do until your wedding day.

You really need an inclusive site, or a wedding planner for a period of months. The way they are treating you is typical. Once they have a basic order from you, cake bakers do not want to hear from you til the last month, catererers want you to stick with all choices or tell them once 2 months ahead. When you think of it, this is how most businesses act. Make an appt for a van conversion, sign, come back in 5 months. P R and wedding businesses charge 15-20% of your total for such services, and do not want to do it free so they withhold all advice til

You pay. These couples you envy, paid for à pla er or PR. If you love the venue and can afford it, hire a planner.

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Very few if any venues provide a day of coordinator as they expect you to hire an outside vendor. The venue coordinator only cares about making sure venue policies are followed.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. This is why I went with an “all inclusive” venue.

Also, the venues only have preferred vendors, they don't endorse anyone over another, bc it's a separate company and they don't want you holding them liable (even via complaints) about a third party. Also, they want to maintain neutrality with several vendors to keep referrals open and not get locked in with a overly cozy relationship with one vendor.

Just a quick bit on social media: a lot of businesses now pay an outside company to manage their social media postings for them. Keep that in mind. It may be some completely unrelated employee of a marketing company posting on their behalf, which doesn't represent the venue's staff or their workload.

I think you should first decide exactly what you want: a totally blank canvas? Or a more inclusive venue?

There are venues that have event coordinators by default - I worked for a hotel with a convention center that had a dedicated event coordinator who would help brides find all of their vendors. But there was a caveat: you had to use their vendors, and this meant you had two choices of DJs, three choices of florists, two choices of bakers, etc.

If you prefer the blank canvas that gives you the freedom to book whoever you want, then I think you should hire a wedding planner. That is typically the service they provide - helping you find vendors and design a vision.