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Just Said Yes September 2022

i am feeling like our venue doesn't care about us

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Maggie, on March 27, 2021 at 12:36 PM

Posted in Planning 24

Hi all! My fiance and I booked our venue shortly after we got engaged for a September 2022 wedding and took some time away from wedding planning. The venue is blank canvas industrial, and I have some event planning experience, so I was very excited that there was a lot left up to us to plan and...

We are back in wedding planning mode, and I have been pretty frustrated with how unhelpful our venue has been with advising us on the next steps. We need to choose every vendor from catering to linens to transportation (no parking at the venue). We chose them in part because they have a lot of experienced and connected people working there, but they don't seem willing to use their resources or advise us. Additionally, they also have been showcasing couples who book weddings with them on social media and following their couples, and they seem to be ignoring us. At first, I thought it was because our wedding isn't until September 2022, but they are showcasing lots of 2022 couples online. Of course, I know there isn't necessarily a correlation between social media and helping us develop a vision and find vendors, but I feel that I am unimportant to them compared with other couples.

All that being said, I am toying with choosing another venue that takes some of the stress off of me to plan out all of these vendors and that is already more decorated. Even if the venue team is not helpful there, that would at least remove a lot of the stress I have been feeling. I loved the venue we chose long before we got engaged and we chose it. I appreciate any thoughts on how to proceed!

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24 Comments

Beginner July 2022
Kelly · on March 28, 2021 at 3:40 AM
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Everything here is speculation.
It sounds like you’re under quite a bit of stress with wedding planning. I read through some of the posts and I don’t want you to feel bullied. This is a tricky situation. Some of the gals here are right in that if you book the venue and deposit, they are very hands off.
With that being said, did your venue provide you with any direction (preferred vendor list, exclusive vendors, venue logistics)? I am very fortunate to have a full wedding planner/coordinator through my venue as I booked a package with them.Have you signed a contract and paid the deposit? I would really hate for you to lose that money because every penny adds up when it comes to weddings!If you’re “stuck” with this venue, I would hire a wedding coordinator or planner. There is a difference between planner (helps you secure vendors, timeline, layout), coordinator (ensures your wedding day runs as smoothly as possible and coordinates with vendors day of the wedding or the month before if it is a 30-day coordinator), and designer (someone who helps create the “vision” and execute the look you want).Wedding planners and coordinators often go together. Depending on which state you’re getting married in, wedding planners & coordinator can go for $2k+ for day-of and more if you’re wanting 30-day, partial planning, full planning/design. Let me know if you have other thoughts.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on March 29, 2021 at 3:36 PM
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What does your contract say about your venue's wedding planning services? They will only provide what is agreed on in the contract. This is probably not a question of them caring or not caring about you, but more about expectations vs. reality.
I agree with everyone who suggested that you hire a wedding planner or coordinator to help you with all of the parts of event planning that are overwhelming you. Help is out there, you just have to go find it!
Edited to add: I can't advise about the social media issues because I have never dealt with wanting to be showcased and/or followed by a vendor's marketing team. I hope you can find the recognition you are looking for.
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Expert September 2022
Courtney · on March 29, 2021 at 3:48 PM
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I agree with a lot of the previous posters, and if I can say as someone who was a venue coordinator, the venue does want you to have the best experience, but only you can dictate that.
Sadly, part of the planning process does involve speaking to vendors and interviewing them for your event. If your venue has a list of preferred vendors (not required) that's an excellent starting point and you should reach out to all of them to see if they have your date available.
When it comes to transport, that really is something that's arranged on the client's side. I've had to direct buses on how to get to our venue before, but that's really the limit to the contact I had with them as a coordinator. The actual logistics are always on the person footing the bill/planning the event.
Take it one step at a time with the vendors you won't/can't compromise on. You have the venue, so reach out to your caterer, photographer, and DJ picks next. Then desserts, bar, whatever else you need, but try to talk to at least a few of each type of vendor to get the best feel for what works for you and your budget.
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Just Said Yes September 2022
Maggie · on July 8, 2021 at 9:27 PM
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Hey everyone! I wanted to thank you all for your great replies. Wedding planning is definitely stressful and that mindset got the best of me when I wrote this post. We love our venue, and I was only frustrated when I was wishing that they would be more than a venue. I appreciate all the wonderful perspective on this issue!
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