i desperately don’t want to walk down the aisle. Any alternatives?

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this.

You mentioned dead silence -- are you not having ceremony music?

Have you considered doing a first look to help calm nerves?

View Quoted Comment We are having music, but at the weddings I’ve been too it’s still been EXTREMELY quiet while the bride was walking up the aisle. So maybe not dead silence, but still super quiet and weirdly somber.

View Quoted Comment And we are doing a first look but I don’t think anything could make walking down the aisle not the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I don’t understand why it has to be this huge dramatic moment.

You could enter from the front like groomsmen normally do. Is that an option with your venue?

View Quoted Comment This was what I suggested, but FH thinks people would come up to us asking questions if I did that. I’m honestly not sure if I care about that anymore though.

Gotcha! As the PP mentioned, is there a side entrance or something else you could use?

If you don't want to do any sort of walking, you could be in position at the front while guests arrive, and do a processional for the rest of the party (or skip that part altogether as well). Alternatively, greet your guests as they arrive to the ceremony and then walk up with your FS and officiant, etc. in a more casual way?

It doesn't have to be a big dramatic moment if you don't want it to be!

View Quoted Comment I like these ideas. Now I just have to convince FH, who doesn’t understand why I’m so scared.

Would you feel better if you had someone escort you down the aisle? Maybe walk in together with FI?

Can you come in from the front?

View Quoted Comment I’m planning to walk in with both of my parents (so is he). I considered walking in together but we couldn’t figure out how to do it without hurting our parents.

View Quoted Comment I could if I changed the setup we had planned for the room (chosen to create the shortest possible aisle!)

Well you also mentioned every ceremony you’ve been to has had low music. There’s no law saying your music can’t be loud. Crank up the volume and tell your parents you are going to walk at a faster pace rather then a slow one. With a parent on either side people will have more then Just you to look at. Also I recently tripped as maid of honor in my best friends wedding while walking up the stairs to where I was to stand for the ceremony. I was terrified it would happen as she had us walk alone and it did. It was a little embarrassing but also really funny, it wasn’t as bad as I had assumed it would be. Hope you find a way to calm your fears.

View Quoted Comment Good point. Every ceremony I’ve been to has either had no music or very quiet music and that always seemed weirdly somber to me, and since we’re having music already we might as well turn it up. I’ll pick something faster too - fortunately my parents are young so walking faster won’t be a problem!

It's reassuring to know, too, that every guest that you've invited loves you and is there to support you and your FH on such an important day 🙂

View Quoted Comment Unfortunately, that’s part of the problem. There are twenty or so people out of that number who I don’t know at all because they’re FH’s parents’ friends. It’s been a bit of a sticking point for us - his parents are paying for them and we have capacity so we couldn’t really say no, but it’s really weird to me to have complete strangers at my wedding.

View Quoted Comment Glad you like my suggestions! As far as the strangers in the crowd, who cares what they think. You’ll most likely never seen them again or if you do, I’m sure it would be very minimal. Focus on what your there to do and keep your eyes locked on your fh. Like the tips from the movie run away bride lol. He’s your happy place and looking at him should give you the confidence. Act like knows there but him. Good luck to you!

I like the idea pp suggested of walking in with your fiance

I’m super scared to walk down the aisle too. I’ve always hated being the center of attention. Really I would dress so plain Jane and everything just to insure no one looks at me. I have really bad social anxiety. Lucky my wedding is going to be very small (40-60 people) I only invited people we know with a few exceptions for my parents (like aunts and uncles I barely know). I am wearing a ball gown that’s a little fancy to me (I haven’t worn a dress since I was like 10) so that makes it more nerve racking. I wonder if people will think I’m “trying to hard” or if it’s “too dramatic” what if my makeup is messed up and my face turns red, what if I fall, what if I start crying?? The last time I was the center of attention (elementary school Christmas concert) I shed tears quietly with a red face through the entire program. It was weird as carbs. But I think knowing everyone is going to help, and only focusing on my fiancée/ my parents. If I have to completely ignore everyone and stare ahead I will. If I start crying I’ll just pretend it’s tears of joy. My FH doesn’t get my worry either, he’s an ambivert, but I’m an extreme introvert with little socializing skills. It’s particularly frustrating for me, but I’m determined to do it no matter what because I know I’ll regret it in the future, but honestly if it wasn’t traditional and I could casual go up there with everyone else I definitely would. I plan to have a sign reading “no cameras or phones etc,.” Cause I hate that too. I hope you figure it out! You’re not the only bride stressing over this!

If you're absolutely set on not doing it then i would talk to your FH, parents and venue and see what other options they can provide for you! If you're on the fence, perhaps talk to your DJ about the music. Maybe you could even do something fun instead of the typical slow walk! Best of luck!