I don't get why people don't want the bouquet/garter toss...

It's insulting/embarrassing to older single people. We didn't do it and replaced it with nothing. I don't even know what the shoe game is.

We had maybe 4 unmarried people at our wedding.

We didn't do either one because most of our guests are no longer single..which makes the whole thing pointless.

Never liked them, didn't do them.

But, to each their own

We're not doing either. The only single people at our wedding will be a couple of cousins and all of our parents. It would be in extremely bad taste, as would the anniversary dance (which I personally LOVE at other weddings and wish it was appropriate for us). The shoe game isn't really a replacement, as we're not doing that either.

Both of those traditions seem creepy and sexist to me. I'm not doing either or playing games. Drinks, dinner and dancing.

My wedding was very formal and traditional in other aspects. I don't find these particular "traditions" meshed well with the elegant ambiance I was trying to set. They're pretty outdated in my option. I agree with PP's (sexiest, degrading, creepy, insulting, embarrassing). When I was single I never participated. Garter tosses, IMO, are lowbrow. For the bouquet toss there would have two single ladies and I'd have hated subjecting them to something so silly.

The shoe game sounds awful.

I'd actually never heard of/seen a garter toss until watching Four Weddings. It's not something that appeals to me or FH at all, maybe because it's not something we view as tradition. The bouquet toss on the other hand I am considering doing depending on how many single ladies we have. I went to a wedding where the only single ladies were me and the children. Awkward!

I don't feel the bouquet toss is degrading ...I am still iffy about the garter toss as I never liked the groom going up the brides dress in front of everyone ...of course there are ways around this like removing it during your alone time ...or coming up with something else to toss. Honestly I've always liked participating in the toss. As for the anniversary dance ...well doesn't this still single out your single friends ? This means your single friends can't take anything home.

I say bouquet toss AND anniversary dance ...(my wedding party will consist of quite a few singles ...as in more than 10...) (and NO shoe game)

We are going to do them. I understand all the points about why one might not want to, but I'm with you, I think they are fun, so we're sticking with tradition. I don't know if I've been to a wedding where they didn't do it! I think either way is fine but if it makes you happy, do it!

Just asked a few of my SINGLE friends , and they do not agree that it's degrading to them.

We are not doing them. A lot of my single friends are quite self-conscious of the fact they are still single, so I don't want to push that feeling any further.

I also went to a wedding with FH about 3 years ago where the couple did the tradition and FMIL caught the bouquet and handed it to me before I knew what was going on. Well, it turns out I got stuck on a chair in the middle of 400 people and the guy who caught the garter was told to put the garter on MY leg (FH was in the restroom this whole time). It was extremely embarrassing for both me and the guy who caught the garter, and never want to have any part in this tradition again. I never liked participating to begin with though.

I hate games in general and the garter thing is just embarrassing to participate in and watch.

With our wedding guests it just seems weird. There will be very few unwed adults and my FH didn't want to throw my garter to a kid. Ewwww. It is a personal preference and I know my family will think the shoe game is hilarious!

I'm not doing either one... but you don't need to 'entertain' your guests with any games at all, to be honest! I've never been to a wedding that had music that people got bored... people who don't want to dance socialize; the guys go outside to smoke cigars; people look for the photographer to take funny photos... it's a few hours - people will not be bored. (Especially, sorry to say, with smartphones).

I'm going to be totally honest here - what follows is just my feeling, and is not a critique of anyone who chooses to do these... I don't care if someone else does it, and I don't have a problem with someone else doing it. That disclaimer in place, here are my reasons for not doing them:

The bouquet toss I'm cutting out because I hated being a single girl and literally forced onto the dance floor to catch a bouquet because then poor, sad sack single me will supposedly be the next girl to get married. Except, I didn't WANT to get married, and I did not appreciate the implication that I should want it so badly I'd fight other girls to catch that bouquet. At more than one wedding where I was forced onto the floor, all the girls stepped aside when the bouquet was tossed, and the bouquet landed with a thud on the floor, and it was super-awkward for the brides...

The garter tradition harkons back to the tradition of people entering the bridal bedchamber to witness and confirm the consumation of marriage, which is icky to me - but even before I learned that, it was super-icky to me that my FH's friends would clamor to catch a garter off MY leg! Then if you add to it second part, where the bouquet catcher has to sit on a chair and have a stranger reach up her dress, touching her in an intimate way that would in any other circumstance be considered inappropriate and harassment, but which peer pressure forces her to accept... i cannot imagine doing that. Again, no judgement towards you or anyone else doing it - plenty of brides still do these games - but that's why I choose not to.

I honestly think games at weddings are tacky. Unless you are having a backyard wedding and are doing lawn games. Then whatever floats your boat!

I just don't think I want my grandma to see my FH going up my dress and retrieving my garter with his teeth... But to each their own. I just think if you have good music and good food, you don't NEED to "entertain" your guests with games. Most people go to weddings are not thinking.. "Oh gee I wonder what awesome games we are going to play!?"

But if you want to do them then do them.

We're doing the garter & bouquet toss but we're having everyone (whether single, married or in a relationship) participate. I mentioned this idea to a friend who has been married for 35 years & she was excited about it. She's never participated in a bouquet toss so she's looking forward to it.

I think we've all been to a wedding where they went to do the bouquet toss/garter toss and only like 3 people stood there to catch it, lol! That's why I didn't do it.

@ Diana.. Exactly what I think. I do not want my husband going up my dress to take off a part of my lingerie and throwing it at some random (although familiar) group of men. As for the bouquet toss, I'm indifferent to it but won't have it because I'm not spending more money on a smaller toss bouquet.

I did the bouquet toss but not the garter. Garter toss is "too much" for me. Kinda tacky.

I'm not "worried" about entertaining my guests with the Bouquet toss. It litterally is a 2 minute ordeal (that my single friends do NOT think is degrading to single people). Of course we don't actually take it "seriously" as the one who catches the bouquet will be the next one married..more like the one who catches it gets to take home so pretty flowers. Anybody who freaks out about "catching" the bouquet because this means they have to find a guy and marry him needs to get real. It's a 2 min "game"...and those that want to participate/watch can participate/watch..those that don't can still socialize.

As far as the whole FH up my dress in front of some 80 year-olds...not my thing..like I said this can be done in private or have something guys will actually want thrown...

Funny story though, I caught the Bouquet at my Friends' wedding..and the only girl that got married before me was already engaged at the time...