I don't get why people don't want the bouquet/garter toss...

We are doing a bouquet and garter toss, but we are inviting everyone to participate (not just single guys/gals). Whoever catches the bouquet/garter winds a dance with the groom and I!

Here's the thing-people are going to choose to include or exclude whatever they want with their wedding, I've participated in many bouquet tosses and while I've been more interested in some than others, I've never been offended that it was done. I'll do it because I want to. Will I force people to participate? Um, no, that's in poor taste.

As for the garter toss, we'll be doing that too but there's no way in hell that FH would disrespect me by putting his head up my dress or using his teeth. It's a toss garter so it's not like it's really serving any purpose but we won't do anything else beyond just throwing it. If someone wants to smell something just because it was near my knee, knock yourself out. I'll think you a sick monkey but you won't be my problem and I won't be the one looking like a fool.

Personally I think both are stupid, but we're doing both anyway, because FH really wants to. I'm handing FH the garter, there's no up-the-skirt business (I told him if he could justify why we whould do that then I would, but he came back blank).

After the tosses we aren't making people dance with each other, or putting on the garter etc, etc, it's just over.

I also have embarassing throwing skills, so I'm hoping my tossing skills won't be as bad (I would not be surprised if my bouquet ends up completely in the wrong direction in someone else's drink).

Just wanted to comment that I caught the bouquet at a wedding where the guy who caught the garter had to put it on me. Not only did I not even want to so the bouquet toss (trying to be a good sport), but I sure as hell didn't want some guy crawling up my dress. And he didn't either. It was embarrassing and horrible. And apparently it was even funnier to the bridal party because the guy doing it never has a girlfriend and always wants one, so it was sort of creepy and sad all around. People should never ever do this to their friends.

Know your crowd. we had no single people, it was older family and friends so the bouquet toss didn't make sense and I loved having my bouquet for the weekend with us at the resort. On the garter toss, I didn't care for my groom to be climbing up my dress in front of my very conservative uncles and "tossing it" at the groomsmen whom I consider dear friends. We were thanked for not doing either.

Ooorr people could just stop being so damn sensitive and have some fun

Personally not a fan of the bouquet or garter toss. Why stop the party? I wrote about it on my wedding blog a few months ago. Check it out! Also...what's the shoe game?

http://wp.me/p4hWxd-7u

We will have very few unmarried couples at our wedding, so we are not doing it.

We are not doing it; for a variety of reasons. The bottom line is that people are going to do....or not do....whatever works for them. We may not understand it. It may be something we would never do, but we all have free will and if it works or does not work for your and your people, then you get to make the choice.

We did it. We both have a ton of single friends that like to party so it wasn't an issue. We did it later in the night. Everyone was drunk and it was pretty inappropriate. I loved it. I agree that it's about knowing your crowd. Our grandparents are all pretty modern so no one was offended.

I read all the rest of these posts and still have no clue what the shoe game is.

The shoe game is a series of questions about the couple. They sit back to back so they can't see each other answer. The bride has a shoe of hers and the grooms and vise versa. Question asked and each hold up the shoe of who they think it refers to

example: who wastes more time in the bathroom? Groom holds up brides shoe indicating she does, bride holds up grooms shoe indicating he does ect.

As far as any of that goes we're nixing all of it as it just isn't our personality.

As a guest, the garter thing had always made me feel really uncomfortable to watch. Maybe it was secondhand embarrassment, but I couldn't take it. I don't mind the bouquet toss as I think it's just a fun thing to do BUT I can see why people are opposed to it.

I'm not doing either because I just don't feel comfortable doing the garter in front of other people and because we don't have that many single ladies at our wedding. Even if we did, I feel like you can't do one without the other.

Wow, never heard of the shoe game... sounds funny but probably does take awhile! I think it depends on your wedding and what you like. My fiance and I were very serious for a long time before getting engaged, so the bouquet toss always seemed annoying to me since it just pointed out that we STILL were not engaged. We are having a smaller wedding and there are only a few single girls, I don't want to make them feel 'shamed' for being single.

If you have a bunch of single ladies and kids... it always seems to be fun!

It is super awkward no matter what...who in this day and age really wants to be the next person married and how weird is it when the guy who gets the garter and the girl who gets the bouquet don't know each other and then she is supposed to lap dance him or the other way around?! Just such a weird tradition....

Edit: I also can't think of one single girl coming to my wedding while there are about 8 single guys...so that just doesn't work out in the slightest.

@lisa it's not "traditional" for the guy who catches the garter to give the girl who catches the bouquet a lap dance or put it on her leg. That's just immature, degrading and dumb. Whoever made that up was probably drunk ...

The bouquet toss IS not putting your single friends to shame (I asked most of mine ) .its really sad that people feel "ashamed" to be single. Again I say , I really hope no one on here is getting married so they don't have that "single shame "

Also, whenever I think of garters I think of the Princess of Thailand post where he army crawled up into her crotch...nasty.

I think they can be fun (other than putting a garter up someone's leg for all to see), but we didn't even do a toss at my wedding. 99% of the guests were married and most brought their kids, and the majority were our relatives. I put my wedding bouquet on the cake table and brought the bouquet home instead.

We didn't do either one because it was pointless. The only single women at our wedding were older women who are single by choice..not to mention that I was never a fan of getting herded to a location to catch flowers. And, my dress way too form fitting for any garter to be politely removed.

At the end of the day, do what works for your event , but don't turn your nose up at what other people choose to do.

We'll be doing both, and I've never been to a wedding where the guy who caught the garter tried to put it on the girl who caught the bouquet. Maybe it's a regional thing? We do have a lot of single people attending but we won't be forcing anyone out who doesn't want to participate.