i don’t know if i should invite my father to my wedding

Is he supportive in general of your life? Is not acknowledging the engagement in line with his normal behavior or is it new? If someone degrades you and badmouths your relationship with fiancé, they don’t support your relationship and they should not be invited to the wedding. Sometimes unfortunately family who should love us are the most hurtful and boundaries need to be set. That doesn’t mean automatically cutting them off but be firm that you will not tolerate their emotional abuse. If they don’t care and intentionally overstep the boundaries then you limit or cut contact for your mental health. Attending the wedding says to you that you have their full emotional support. Hopefully this is a phase but be prepared to deal with it how you need to if it isn’t.

View Quoted Comment He says that he’s has always been supportive of what I do but looking back on things…. If it’s what he has already thought about and planned ( meaning what he wants done) then yes he’s supportive. Other than that no he is not supportive of most things in my life

View Quoted Comment I completely sympathize. My father is the same way. Honestly, I would not feel comfortable at all inviting someone like that and I would definitely limit contact moving forward. Life is too short to be miserable and walk on eggshells to make someone else happy who will never be. Surround yourself instead with people who love and support you no matter what.

I'm sorry you're going through this. If you feel like your father should not be there, then he should not. Your day should be filled with love & support!🙃

💓💓** idk how I ended up hitting 🙃. Definitely meant 💓💓

Is he specifically opposed to the wedding? Has he said he actually doesn't support it? I know it's hard when the reaction you expected isn't there but is that a reason to not invite him? If he's being abusive, that's a whole other issue. If he's said he doesn't support it, then inviting him is not necessary I think.

Based on what you’ve said, He doesn’t deserve to be a guest at your wedding.

Sadly, it seems like your Dad is being manipulative.

Personally, I would cut him off, at least temporarily. If you do talk to him, and if he brings up the wedding, simply leave it as, "(Fiancé's name) and I are still planning." or , "Yes, the wedding is still on" followed by, "Let's change subject".

If he pries, just become a broken record, or go, "Dad, I told you we aren't going to discuss this any more. I would like to continue talking about something else, or I can hang up/leave".

If he's one to continue to instigate, leave. He may just try to give you second thoughts. Don't fall for it. Sometimes parents can't stand that now they won't be #1. Or, and I hate to say this, if your fiancé isn't the same ethnicity or religion as you, they may not approve, and they can't bring themselves to say it.

My mom has tried to say that my fiancé was the reason why I didn't want to visit home or was ignoring her while we were dating if she was in a bad mood. I just cut her off for a while, and not I always show up with my fiancé. We have the clear boundary that if she makes me uncomfortable, I'll just say, "We're leaving" and no questions asked. Or, if she makes him feel uncomfortable, and he wants to leave, I extend him the same courtesy.