i don't really want to plan!

You might consider a small ceremony or even an elopement if it is stressing you out so much already.

View Quoted Comment

I agree with this! You could do something small and intimate!

Your experience will only be as good as you make it. If you stress, then you will have a miserable time planning. If you go with the flow and take your time, then you should have a pretty easy time planning. My advice is to start with Pinterest. Explore different ideas to maybe get a sense of what you like. Then figure out venue, date, and guest list. Those 3 things affect each other and are the first things that need to be taken care of. You and your FH should really sit down and talk about what type of wedding y'all want: big or small, destination or hometown, backyard or formal. If you don't have a huge preference, then I would use budget as the deciding factor. Wedding Wire's vendor search was a huge help when I was looking for vendors. So easy to sit in front of my computer and compare prices and reviews of vendors in my area. I wish you the best of luck!!!

Like Allie said, you could consider doing a small ceremony, maybe in your backyard or in the yard of someone you know. You could just find a dress you like (any price, style, color that fits your taste), pick some wildflowers if you’re into that, have the essential important people there to celebrate, and get someone to officiate (could be a certified friend, or a pastor, etc). As for food, most people like pizza or wings or soups. You could get some ice cream or sheet cake for dessert.

If you have the money for it, you could maybe hire a planner to help with the stressful things.

Bottom line is: a wedding does not have to be a black-tie event for it to be a valid wedding. A wedding should simply be a celebration of a new marriage. Find out if your FH has any thoughts on these things

Girl i feel you! I am the same way! I recently hired a mobile wedding planner. You should too! I can refer you to a good wedding planner if you want. Just let me know or message me

So Nolan wants a bash, a big wedding with a bnd and all night dancing and all the bells and whistles. I want courthouse and a nice dinner in town with like 20 people. We compromised with 75 guests, a short ceremony with a family member or friend officiating. I want more earthy and fresh with fresh herbs instead of flowers and brown accents. Destination isn't really an option, I would feel bad asking my mom to afford that. I have a gown I love, my mom and I just kind of stumbled upon it on a spur og the moment shopping trip, I've designed my invitations, rsvps and thank you's, have a dj and photographer in mind and back ups for both.


So maybe I just did things backwards...

View Quoted Comment

You really just need a venue and a caterer now! Have you looked at the venues on WeddingWire? What area would you like to get married?

View Quoted Comment Pretty much just venue/catering. I'm having a hard time justifying spending so much money when we own a 100 year old house with one tiny really old bathroom that needs some help. I'm looking in central/northern NJ area. I just feel like my head is swimming looking online at everything. I guess it feels like I'm compromising a bit more on my vision, because I really really really wanted something tiny/elopement.

I know it will come together just fine and I tend to have some hyper-focus issues and I easily let things consume my life. Maybe I'll work with my therapist on personal boundary setting so I don't feel so obsessive.

I found the trick in my area was to go to places that do not advertise themselves specifically as a wedding place. These places are all cookie cutter, similar prices, similar look, similar menus. If you go somewhere that's not prepared for a wedding you really get to create the day your way even though it's a bit more work. Also if you want specific catering you can ask the caterer you like where they recommend you have the wedding, they've got some great ideas usually.