I don't want my brother and his wife in my wedding anymore

And now without letting my MOH or other BMs know she just isn't going to show up. She was in charge of bringing soda and water for the wedding shower. I'm glad we now know she won't be showing so we don't have thristy guests. And I love my nephew like crazy so it really gets to me that he'd say those who really care would be there. It's unfair to use that against us. I wish they would just drop out of the wedding and stop adding stress. End rant.

WTF ~ if your nephew's birthday is on the 20TH why is the party not on Saturday the 23rd

Sorry your family is being such a pain in your @ss. Just concentrate on yourself and your FH and keep yourself happy. At least you have WW to vent to.

Yeah, I'm with Hayley....why is his party 10 days after his birthday?

Honestly, I would have a heart to heart with my brother. I would invite him over or go out for lunch or coffee or something and just talk to him. Ask him what's going on. Maybe there is some stress in his life and you just happen to be an easy target? Maybe he's just a jerk, lol...I don't know! But if you can calmly and specifically talk to him, maybe you can get to the bottom of things. And if he's just a jerk, then I would ask him if he really wants to attend. I would just tell him that you won't be offended if he doesn't want to come.

Either way, you'll either come to an understanding, or he will be "off the hook" as it were, in regards to attending the wedding and associated events. =)

That is pretty bad Cyndi. At this point I would put your brother on ignore.

Sorry you are dealing with drama, it really makes me angry when my family starts acting sh*tty.

Tolerate them if you can, but if they are hell bent on making your life miserable, don't let them be a part of the celebration! Just because they are family, doesn't give them a free pass to act bad to other family members without consequence.

I agree as well - not to stir coals any hotter, but it sounds like they pulled that crap on purpose. Unless this is normal diva behavior from your brother it sounds like something else is going on with him. I agree with Jen that maybe you should just flat out ask him what the deal is. I don't know how open your brother is with his feelings but if you get him to open up to you, he behavior might be put into perspective.

Or he could just be a brat who's pissed off that you're getting all the attention! lol

Either way, I hate to hear that you have to go through this, but I'm sure everything will be okay in the end. If you opt not to have him at your wedding that it completely up to you. It might make future family holidays a little awkward, but it's still your choice. Good luck!

I was going to say EXACTLY what Hayley said!

I'm still stuck on the fact that they are WAITING to throw thier son a birthday party until almost 2 weeks after his actual birthday. What kind of crappy planning on their part, feel sorry for the boy.

He's not the type to call up and say "Hey we should do lunch". The last 10 years or so he's turned into quite an ass. It's kinda hard to get him on a "good" day lol.

Yeah... you're brother sounds like a handful. Sorry sweetie!

Not to stoop to his level but it sounds like he wouldn't be calling your mom and "tattling on you" if he didn't at least care a little about how she's respond. I'd say ask your mom to tell him to stop being a big baby and let his sister enjoy her wedding!

His childish behavior isn't fair to you and if he can't knock it off then he can act like that somewhere else!

Do a lunch date somewhere and air these things out

I agree Fawn. And my mom has told him he's calling the wrong person. But he won't call me and complain about it. I don't now what his deal is he's 10 years older than I am you'd think he'd be acting a bit more mature. I love him to death but he's such a butt head! He's stuborn and if it's not his way then it's no way at all. The best part about the whole birthday thing is our son will be 3 this year and my brother hasn't showed to any of his birthday parties. I don't go around saying he doesn't "really" care about our son. Sometimes things come up or like this things were planned for months in advance and invites are already out. I just told my MOH and she asked if I wanted her to call everyone and tell them the date was changed. I told her no because I don't feel we should have to change plans.

*Update*

I called him to ask what's going on. I stayed nice and just told him it seemed like he's been really upset lateley and hasn't been happy with the wedding stuff. I asked him if he still wanted to be in the wedding and if there was anything I can do so he isn't so upset. It didn't go well. He told me (not in a nice tone) that he still wanted to be in the wedding and if I wanted to fix things I shouldn't be taking over my own nephews birthday. When I started to say it's been planned for awhile he cut me off and said he wasn't going to argue and hung up. I called back cause he p*ssed me off and I got his voicemail.

So you were being the bigger person and he was being an ass...i mean i have heard of sibling rivalry but he is taking it to a whole new level, sorry your going through this.

I'm sorry you are going through all of this but I'm still not understanding like some others why his son's birthday party has to be 10 days past his actual birthday and not the Sat before or after.

Um, yeah what Hayley said. Your brother is making zero sense.

Also, may I add that my birthday is in the middle of June. I can assure you that I have spent many of my own birthdays celebrating other people's graduations and weddings. I'm talking the actual day - not 10 days later. I'm pretty sure none of them scheduled their major life events just to eff with my Chuck-e-Cheese party.

Only child here, so I'm sure there's dynamics I don't understand, but at this point, why don't you just go ahead and relieve them of their duties? Sounds like you've done all you could.

I don't know what to do. Deep inside I really do want my brother in the wedding but I also don't want to put up with his crap. I have a feeling if I ask them to come as guests (especially this close to the wedding since SIL bought the dress) they wouldn't show up at all. Grr I just can't wait until this wedding drama is over with. My family seems to go all drama queen whenever there's a wedding about to happen.

Family drama never ends but it get quieter if you ignore it sometimes.

I'd say at this point there's nothing you can really do other than keep going with your plans and let your brother and his family join in where and when they will. It's not ideal but it sounds like if you keep pushing anything (totally not saying it's your fault! sounds like he has very sensitive buttons) he'll get madder and wont come to your wedding. In the future you both will regret it if he doesn't come so I'd say just keep being the bigger person.

Oh, but do rub it in a little and send your nephew a gift on his actual birthday with a card saying how special "this" day is because it's his birthday!!!

Meh, I don't think you should "do" anything either. Just stick to your plans, and it will be on other people if they drop out or kick a fuss.

I would like to live in this magical fantasyland where as a child, your birthday celebration lasts 10 days and overrides someone's wedding. Imagine all the ice cream you could eat!! lol.