I don't want to do it anymore

If you havn't already, you need to talk with him and see where he is in his thought process with the wedding. For if you are past picking out the venue and the major items, he might not be interested in smaller things that surround the wedding. Unfortunately this is how it goes most of the time with the guys.

From the groom

Forget about the wedding for a while. Go to the movies with him, hang out together and don't think a single thing about the wedding for a whole week. Re-route any wedding issues to your mom or somebody else who can handle it. Then, when you're back to wedding business, just don't ask for his opinion, but listen carefully in case he speaks up. If he has an opinion, he'll blurt it out. and if he doesn't, that's okay too. Assign him projects too, so you're not stuck with everything. Make him take care of the tuxedos all by himself. The people who work in the tuxedo business know how to steer him in the right direction so he doesn't look stupid. Tell him to make a folder of songs he likes on the computer, so he'll hear music he likes at the wedding, in addition to yours of course. Don't forget you. Pick out things you like freely! Enjoy your big day coming up, and don't worry about him. He already has the best part of the wedding picked out. ^_~

Mine was even better he'd use the "it's your day" line until something came along that didn't suit him... Then all of a sudden he'd remind me were noyb getting married. It was frustrating to say the least and almost made me xomtemplate murder sometimes LOL

this may sound stupid but have you tried talking to him? Mine was the same way until I really sat him down and told him how overwhelmed and fed up I was with the whole process and although it's not picture perfect, there are still days when he doesn't want to even think about wedding stuff. for the most part it's gotten better, men can tell it in

your voice when you trully are fed up with something.

I hope it gets better. Good luck!

Naynay, either you are marrying my fiance or I wrote this sleepwalking. I totally understand and I am so frustrated!!! I mean I appreciate him being flexible but I am not one of these brides that has been dreaming of my wedding day my entire life, in fact before meeting him I never really thought of weddings. I am so indecisive and for once would really appreciate an opinion on SOMETHING! Also, I agree, it is OUR day and I want him to enjoy it too and not be something he complains about behind my back. SIGH....

I completely understand where you are coming from I have kind of felt the same way, and to add onto all the stress my date may or may not change. So now I am reluctant to plan at all though I know that I need to. While I am sure other people would be willing to help me, even though I would love to relieve my stress I am too anal-retentive to hand the work over to someone else. Honestly, I think many men don't understand how stressful it is. Also, they don't want to put too much input in because they know that we have supposedly been dreaming about the day since we left the womb. His intentions probably aren't bad at all... I would sit down and talk it out with him and explain that you appreciate him wanting you to have the most input but you would really appreciate his help and input. I am sure he loves you alot and doesn't want you to be so stressed--he will pitch in! Good luck with your wedding planning and try not to let it get you down!

I know the feeling... This can be especially frustrating when you are an indecisive person like myself. lol It's funny how men don't seem to care but when you finally make in independent decision they question you: "why did you choose that? lol

Wedding planning is not my cup of tea but I am trying my best. I wish I could just skip the planning and go straight to the day of and honeymoon. People look at me crazy when I say I just want to get this part over with. I am more concerned about out future than planning. ugh!

Tell him you want the groomsmen to wear hot pink skirts. See if that gets a better answer!

YES i do have to agree with you!!! I think in general the guys thought is that we have been thinking and planning this day since we were little and we want it our way and only our way but for alot of us that IS NOT TRUE!!!!! Just sit him down and talk to him try and get him to do little things for the wedding that wont take long. we are getting married this may and he has started to come around, he still says its what ever you want its your wedding and one day i finally fliped out and SCREAMED NOOOOOOOO ITS NOT MY WEDDING ITS OUR WEDDING ME AND YOU YOU AND I WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!!!! and he realized how stressed i was adn that i needed help so maybe having a little fit may help haha it did with me!

It's REALLY hard for women to understand men sometimes. But he is not a woman. He doesn't think like a woman. Here's probably what's in his head:

He wants to marry you. He'd want to marry you in a junkyard if he had to that's how much he loves you. If there weren't any flowers, music, guests, nice food or dancing...the day wouldn't mean any less to him. All he cares about is that you are there, and you say yes. Sure he'll enjoy everything you planned, but he could take it or leave it, because the only important thing to him is that he's marrying the person he loves and he's being agreeable to everything you decide because he wants you to be happy.

Now, isn't that kind of sweet? It's not in his nature to care about color schemes. Just let go of what he's NOT doing, and think about what he IS doing. He's making the ultimate commitment to you for the REST OF HIS LIFE, and THAT'S what he cares about!

My FH was told by all his married coworkr's to just let me do what ever I want and when I ask a question to just say "yes dear". Maybe he is getting the same advise.

I have started phrasing questiong not with "what do you think or do you like..." and started with, "I cant make up my mind on this, do you have any ideas" It seemed to help with me.

other then that, all I got was "i want chocolate cake" and "no green dresses" LOL

sorry and good luck.

Its nice to know I'm not the only one who is going through this. The only time my FH has a comment is when I "add on" to something that wasnt in the budget. -He doesnt like to leave me alone on the phone with the florist (jeff)...lol. "Oh hunny you'll never guess what Jeff said he was going to do...thousands of black magic roses with diamond centers!!!!" Thats when all of a sudden he has an opinon...lol

I put my fiance in charge of getting his clothing and all his groomsmen's clothing and gifts so I could worry about one less thing. He knows if he doesn't do it now he'll be in big trouble cause him and his groomsmen will be running around last minute and probably mess it up. I told him he can ask for help from me or anyone but he has to be responsible for getting them fitted, purchasing, etc...

So delegate him something to do and make the decisions about. He's probably feeling like you would override any decision he makes any way so he might as well let you do it all.

My FH wasn't really ready to start planning and talking about wedding details ONE YEAR before the wedding. So, maybe your FH is feeling the same way. He will want to be included when the time gets closer, mine did. Till then, have fun making the decisions (he's giving you permission to do so), include your mothers, aunts, bridesmaids, this website, co-workers... There are plenty of other people to help in decision making.

We were like that too. so i just quit asking for his opinion on anything. after bout a week or so, he started asking questions about how the planning was goin, and now he is constantly putting in his advice. so he finally came around. you can try what i did and not keep him informed on anything, just let him come to you. guys arent into dresses or flowers or anything like that. even though they do want to spend the rest of your lives together, theyre not into standing in front of a bunch of ppl and stuff. i felt exactly how you do, but im glad that he finally came around. just give it some time. you can try asking him stuff that he would be interested in, like what kind of food at the reception, any specific songs to play, ect. he probably will say that he dont care if you ask bout BM dresses, or favors, or colors, themes, stuff like that. like i said even though they care about you, they may not show it on certain subjects. hell come around.

We are like that he comes for the fun stuff like the cake tasting but if i ask him anything i get the same answer i dont know or whatever u want i am sure he doesnt mean any harm guys just have no clue about stuff like this tell him that u would like him to have something to do with the planning and just invite him to certain things you think he would enjoy weddings usually arent what most guys are into at least not mine which is fine with me i tried the pushing him thing and trying to get him into it and i realized that he doesnt have the same taste as i do so see if he is willing to do the cake tasting and as long as he does go with you even if he doesnt have an opinion at least he is being supportive

I'm sorry, I'm probably in the minority here, but I do not understand why playing games (not talking with him about wedding plans for a week, always replying with "I don't know" when he asks you something, or using "I don't care") to 'get back at him' for not having input in planning details is a common approach.

Try talking to him. "When I start talking about planning this or that for the wedding and I hear "I don't care, it's your day" it really upsets me because I feel like I'm planning this by myself when we should do it together..."

Pick three things that you absolutely will go crazy with details over, and let him pick three things that he really will want to focus on. If they overlap, then you'll be able to learn to compromise together, and if they don't, you each will have your own area of responsibility.

Also, it's well over a year still until your wedding day. Take a break from it all for a few weeks! It won't blow up in your face in a few weeks, Promise!

I gotta say I agree with Kristen. Honest, open communication is the only way a long-term healthy relationship works. Better start that now

My FI tells me the same thing "whatever you want, it's your day". That's okay by me until the issue of hiring a Day-of Coordinator comes up. We didn't fight about it, all we did was discuss it and I tried to show him why we need one from my perspective.

Well, he finally gave in once we found out our church doesn't have an on-site coordinator and the person in charge of the reception facilities is on vacation the week of our wedding. He actually started to panic about it, but I had a back-up plan in place already.

I find with most men they are pretty much hands-off about wedding planning until money issues arise and then they start to have an opinion. You really need to take a break from planning and reconnect with him. He'll come around and start showing interest in what your doing.

I went thru the same thing and i was in tears until my aunt talked to him. he will continue to have that response until you either tell him how you feel or have some one he respects tell him and as you can see it was my aunt

Men just dont get it. What you need to do is give him a "job list" these are the things he is in charge of preparing or booking for the day. Tell him you dont have time to do it, so its his decision.(in the same breath, you cant dump on him if you dont like it) This will force him to make decisions and have an opinion, and maybe see how stressful it is.

I made my husband book the limos, and the entire honeymoon(plane hotels ect)