i don’t want to invite my fiancé’s brother’s girlfriend, but don’t know what’s the best way to let his brother know.

So I am currently planning my wedding but my fiancé and I have been going back and forth over a little issue we have going on. I personally do not get along with my fiancé’s brother’s girlfriend. When my fiancé and I got engaged she never (even til this day) congratulated us. She’s been dating my fiancés brother for about 1 or 2 years I believe. Because they are both young, for the longest time my mother in law didn’t let them take trips on their own, so one time they asked if we wanted to go on a trip with them. We said yes thinking this would be a perfect time to form a friendship with her since she doesn’t really like going over to my mother in laws so she hasn’t even formed a strong bond with my in laws either. We agreed to drive out to SD so we can all take a trip. Throughout the entire trip not once did she bother to ask us anything to even get to know us. She basically treated the trip as if we weren’t there. They made their own plans for things and kind of left us to do our own things. Even after that trip both the brother and his girl never hit us up to hangout again or do anything together. A family member’s birthday came along and obviously all of my fiancés family was there (mind you the brother and his girl were never even invited to this party by the hosts, my fiancé was the one to invite them thinking they were already invited) so they arrive and greet everyone and she literally skips past my fiancé and I. I was already kind of holding a grudge against her for the way the whole SD trip turned out. So later that night when we are all about to leave she does the same, she says her goodbyes to everyone except my fiancé and I. To me, respect comes with having basic manners. They have been together for a while now and even til this day no one from my fiancé’s side of the family asks where she’s at in events, she’s usually not the one they ask about, they do ask about the brother though. She doesn’t make much communication with my in laws either but obviously my mother in law loves her because she makes her son happy. So after that birthday party I got mad at her being so rude and talked with my brother in law and told him the things about her that bothered me , he got so angry that I said we don’t like her personality and since my relationship with him has fallen downhill. She later messaged me after I talked to the brother and said she apologized because she tends to get nervous and quiet meeting her bf’s family. I told her first impressions always count and since the SD trip I’ve noticed she doesn’t care to get to know anyone in their family or even me. Then after she apologized she has the nerve to say “well you guys didn’t talk to me either or try to get to know me” yet we were the only ones asking about herself throughout the 5 hr drive there. So I didn’t accept her apology for saying that, which was so irrelevant. Fast forward to now, like I said it’s ruined the brother and my relationship and now my fiancé wants his brother as his best man for his wedding, problem is, my mother in law knows we don’t hangout, talk, or get along with the brother’s girlfriend and asked if we are inviting her. Which my fiancé told her we are not. She then said that the brother had talked with her in private and said if his girl isn’t invited he will not be attending the wedding. After more discussions with my fiancé we agreed we still don’t want her to be invited because we genuinely only want our closest loved ones, friends and family. And she hasn’t been any of those to us. Now we just need help figuring out the best way to sit down and express she isn’t invited.


Thanks for reading this far and for any advice in advance.