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A
Just Said Yes July 2025

i don't want to invite my relative to my wedding but I'm not sure how to explain to the rest of the family.

Amy, on April 19, 2024 at 8:21 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 2

I hate my cousin, lets call her "Josie", and I have hated her since I was a kid. She regularly insults my appearance, she's been doing that since I was eight and she also has some very narcissistic tendencies.

Josie has also thrown me under the bus for things I didn't do because the things she did matched my behavior patterns when I was succumbing to mental illness many years ago. I find her intolerable and certainly don't want her at my wedding or anywhere near me.

We're barely in contact anymore and I really only see her when I visit with the rest of my family who live a few states away. I want all of my other relatives there because they're tame and wouldn't cause problems, but I'm not sure how to explain why I don't want Josie there.

Only my parents, fiancé and a few friends know about Josie and I's feud because in the past she's gaslighted people into thinking I'm crazy and she's the victim. I didn't tell too many people because I thought it would cause more problems. I don't want to give her a wedding invitation for obvious reasons and if she wasn't close with the other family members I am inviting, I could get away with not sending her one without an explanation. But if she notices that everyone else got an invitation except her, she'll bring it up for sure.

I'm really conflicted and kinda freaking out, any advice on what I should do?

2 Comments

Latest activity by Grace, on June 27, 2024 at 11:01 AM
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    You don't need to address it at all initially. It's a given that anyone that has been abusive to you in the past doesn't need to be invited to the wedding. If people ask, and they might, I'd probably say something like "we've chosen to have people around us that are uplifting and supportive in our lives", and leave it at that. No-one is owed an explanation.

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  • Grace
    Savvy June 2024
    Grace ·
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    I had a cousin like this who found out she wasn’t invited as well, who contacted my other cousins, then they decided to call my mom’s phone and try to ask her why they weren’t invited. My other half and I had the people we felt close to and we had a memory table for the people we wish who could’ve come but they had passed away.


    Its your and your other half’s time and day to shine, if she doesn’t like the fact she wasn’t invited oh well. Have the people you want there, invite them, invite the ones you feel comfortable around and safe around. We just invited the ones we felt close to like friends and family, that was it.
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