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Just Said Yes September 2021

i don't want wedding

Pelle, on August 31, 2021 at 6:07 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6
Hi guys

.getting marriednnto my boyfriend and his mother is pushing him to do a wedding, they all know that i don't want wedding but they mother want celebrate her son , i tlwould be so unhappy in that wedding and i have no interest to buy a dress or do amy makeup, so i would litteraly need.to push away my anxiety and my anger to the fact the mother will.make a wedding and i will sit there like a ghost. She is still happy and still want do wedding, while i don't want. My boyfriend is very good guy and we really love each other. The big problem is his.mother , what should I do??

6 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on August 31, 2021 at 4:35 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    The first thing you need to do is talk to your boyfriend. You’re marrying him and not his mom. Does he want a big wedding? It’s his marriage too so even if you don’t want a wedding, you may still have to do some compromising. If he doesn’t want a wedding but won’t stand up to his mom, that’s a totally different issue you should address. Couples counseling can help with setting boundaries with people outside the relationship.
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  • Amanduh
    Devoted January 2019
    Amanduh ·
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    Couldn't have said it better myself. You are marrying him, not her.

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  • Janet
    Expert October 2018
    Janet ·
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    Yep. All this. You and your fiance need to be on the same page about a wedding. If it's just a matter of standing up to his mom and he won't, it's setting up the life you will have for other life decisions/celebrations with his mom.

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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    I agree with this!

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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
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    "The big problem is his.mother"

    Honestly, the big problem seems to be your fiancé - if he is unable to stand up to his mother and advocate for what the two of you want as adults, that sets a concerning tone for how your marriage will function. Perhaps there are cultural norms in play that make that more difficult, but setting boundaries now as a united couple would be a healthy first step and worth discussing more together.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    All of this. You have a FI problem, not a FMIL problem. Boundaries are important.

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