i hate my venue!!!

Girl if you hated then change it, I am sure your wedding designer will understand. Also you will have to be communicating with them every step of the way, especially if they are going to be providing servers, and other services, not to mention if they have approved vendors they want to to go through.

I think I understand how you feel! I would try to cancel your contract with that venue. You might not be able to get your deposit refunded to you so you might lose quite a lot of money.




If losing that money is not an option then I think you could try to learn to love your venue again. Maybe ask your fiancé to handle all communication with the venue from now on so you don’t have to deal with the management. This happened to me with our first venue. The wedding coordinator and I did not jive well. She was very pushy and tried changing our contract on us multiple times. My fiancé took the lead on communication with her and was able to stand his ground without it getting him stressed.

Good luck in anything that you decide!!!

If you have signed a contract with this venue, you may want to look to see what it will cost to cancel. Also, before making a decision to cancel, check availability of other venues and tour them in person to ensure they are exactly what you are looking for.

First will you lose any money? Second, Do these other venues have your date available? Third, Your happiness is more important than design.

I completely understand how you feel with this, feel in love with a venue and everything, but with the whole process of booking was just a mess and we walked away before signing.


For yourself though I would definitely agree with everyone else in checking about if you’d lose your deposit, and if you could afford another. If you can I would definitely say tour acouple other venues and see if you find on you love!

This is your day! It’s about you and your partner! Have you put a deposit down yet? What was it and is it refundable? If you can get a refund (or if you didn’t put down a huge deposit and can live without it) i would say change the venue so you can enjoy your day!

You and your partner's happiness comes first. So if you truly hate this venue with everything you have, why have your wedding there? I feel like staying at the venue you have now for the sake of 'design' isn't the best idea, and I'm worried you'll later resent and regret sticking with this venue.

Have you put a deposit down, and if so, is it refundable? Have you signed a contract with them yet? I see that your wedding is in Feb 2023, so you still have an entire year to make adjustments.

I'd honestly suggest backing out of this venue asap because it sounds like you dislike it A LOT. You'll be communicating with the venue throughout the entire wedding planning process, so think about it...do you really want to have your wedding somewhere you can't stand, and also have to communicate with them this entire year? There are plenty of venues out there, and you want to be happy with the venue & vendors you choose!!

If you are not happy with your venue, then by all means, move on! This day is about you and your FH, and no one is going to remember the details as much as you. Your wedding designer is being paid and I’m sure he or she has plenty of time to adapt. Not quite sure what your financial situation is or what their cancellation process is. Personally, we cancelled our first ceremony & reception venues because our wedding was turning into something we didn’t want. We were only out about $1,700 BUT our wedding is also 100% out of our own pockets so no one could tell me nothing lol. That might be something to consider though if you have family contributing money and if you already paid a lot or not plus cancellation and whatnot. But like I said, your happiness is key and I think you should do whatever the heck you want!

Have you made a deposit to hold the date? If so, are you willing to lose it? If so, then by all means keep looking. You don't want to be forced to work with a venue you hate.

You have just over a year before your wedding (if your date is 2/1/2023), I would say cut your losses, and take it as lessons learned. You are going to drive yourself even more crazy with dread for the next year, and that alone is not worth it. Learn to trust your gut, and NOT overlook things. This is the time to be very discerning and selective, but not insufferably picky.

You should definitely say things like,

"I am not sure about ____. I want to think about it for (set a specific time frame) with my fiancé, and then I will get back to you. Is it possible to put a soft hold on (your date/specific item or service) in the meantime?"

Is your wedding designer independent from the venue? If they are, express gratitude for their services and maybe treat them out to lunch as an effort to smooth things between you. Explain what went wrong with the venue's management and the direction you and your fiancé want to go. This lets the designer know that it was nothing personal against them and you want to be respectful of their time and energy.

I would say for your wedding designer, that unless you have extra $$$, keep it more "simple" the second time around. Hold off on making any serious decoration commitments until after you and your fiancé find a venue you love, and have a budget in mind.

You can say something to the effect of:

"We sincerely appreciate that you took the time to design _______ for us. It truly exceeded our expectations and we were excited. However, due to how our communications have been with management at (venue's name), we have decided to cancel our plans, and look for another venue. We just wanted to let you know it had nothing to do with you, and wanted to make it clear that it is only because of the unfortunate outcome of this circumstance where I could not trust the integrity of the management."

Definitely change your venue. You want to love everything about it. Not have this type of negativity hover over your wedding.

This is your day, a day you will always remember with a venue that’ll always be showcased in your photos and videos. it’ll be such a shame to look back on that and the first thing you think is “I hate this venue”. your wedding designer will understand and she’ll be there every step of the way, that’s her job. she wants you to enjoy it as well. you do what you feel is right, but I’m rooting for you to get the venue of your dreams on your special day!

What is it about the venue that you hate? The aesthetics, the person you are working with, location, etc? If you don't want or can't lose the money it will cost to change, perhaps there is a way to change the things you hate about it. If losing the money doesn't matter, then definitely start looking now, because tons of places are booking up for 2023!

If having switching all communication over to your fiance, or someone else you trust isn't an option, I definitely recommend looking into other venues! The majority of your day is spent there, so if you're not happy with it, it will most likely put a damper on your day and you definitely don't deserve that. I'd say don't cancel until you can confirm that the other venue(s) you're considering have your date open.

If you do find another venue, when it comes to cancelling your current one, I'd reach out to the General Manager and inform them you're cancelling due to issues/concerns with their staff. I'm not sure if when you stated management, that included the GM? There's a possibility you may get a financial break if you converse with the GM over your sales/catering manager... I work in hospitality and one thing GM's hate hearing is that their staff is not hospitable. If going through the GM doesn't work, try reaching out to the hospitality group that operates/oversees the venue.

All the luck girlie!