Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Fairybride
August 2023

i hated my wedding

Fairybride, on August 13, 2023 at 7:42 AM

Posted in Married Life 50

I got married to the love of my life a week ago and hated the whole day. It's like everything I did not have direct control of went horribly wrong. And if one more person says "all that matters is you married the love of your life" I will scream in their face. My bridesmaid decided to pay super loud...
I got married to the love of my life a week ago and hated the whole day. It's like everything I did not have direct control of went horribly wrong.


And if one more person says "all that matters is you married the love of your life" I will scream in their face.
My bridesmaid decided to pay super loud music during the processional so I couldn't hear my sister sing. The music threw off the drummer, so that was terrible.
Nobody set up the camera for the selfie station. My cake was lime green, stored in my room without my knowledge, and dyed my dress green for my first dance.
I put together tons of food, some for people with dietary needs and most of it didn't go out. The games I set up also didn't get set out. There were written instructions for things that weren't there.
The reception flopped. Almost everyone left. My stage manager friend wasn't near me the whole day and actually left the photoshoot with my father's cremation necklace right before the pictures with it.
There was so much more. I can't even write it all I'm so mad. I worked so hard to put together a team of people to support me on my day and it's like all the brains left the building. I'm so mad. I don't want to speak to most people involved ever again. Idk what to do.
Show all

50 Comments

  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    i hated my wedding 1
    In case anyone was curious. We were serious about the theme🤣🧚‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Wow! Amazing! I think just for that one photo alone the day was worth it!!

    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    I very much agree with this.

    Friends and family are not trained or experienced in wedding planning. We call them "friendors", and over and over we hear of disappointing results with this plan.

    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    The pics were definitely great! That was the most important feature of the wedding for us. Also why we spent the largest portion of our budget on the professional photographer who is also a friend of mine. I've only seen a few but I'm sure the others will be great. They have a dark & mystical style I really like!
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Do you have any suggestions for what to do instead? If the budget doesn't allow for a hired vendor for all the different elements? We're broke but crafty. Our wedding was entirely diy except for the photog. We made my dress, built the stage from scrap wood, the venue was my yard. The music was a borrowed speaker and a spotify playlist. We made our own food and baked our own cake too. I'm not sure what we could have done differently 🤷‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment

    Best way to trim the budget is the reduce the number of guests. Next would be to have a lunch/brunch reception. After that having the wedding at a non-meal time (ie 2 pm) and serve cake, coffee and appetizers. Serve sheet cake instead of a bakery cake. Cut down on decor expenses. Skip favours. Go minimal with florals. Those are the biggest ways.

    Other things to consider is budget vs. expectations. If you don't have a big budget, then have the event you can afford without having your guests do the work or subsidize your event. The key is to always put the priority on guest experience over optics or extras.

    DIY is great as long as guest experience isn't affected. In other words, build your stage, have your music dIY because that's not affecting your guests comfort. It's when it starts to be about having your guests staff your event that trouble arises.

    For things like catering/bartending/cleaning up/setting up the event space/access to bathrooms/seating/temperature control of the environment--all of this needs to be left to hired vendors in most cases.

    If you start to need your guests to help, then you can't afford what you have planned, and modifications need to be made ie cut the guest list.

    This isn't intended to criticize or pile on to what you had happen at your wedding. You asked the question, so I'm answering it for anyone else that might be reading this. Based on your photo, your wedding did look unique and lovely!

    ETA: it's not a coincidence that you were happiest with photography, ie the work of your paid professional vendor.

    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    It really seems like we just come from different worlds with vastly different budgets. Most of what you suggested, we did. Hiring paid vendors wasn't an option due to budget and location. (Tho now that you mention it, we did hire out porta potties🤣) Guest list was as trimmed as it could be. Based on your message, it seems like we really did as well as we could have while still trying to throw the nerdy larp-fantasy wedding of our dreams.
    • Reply
  • Ebonie
    Dedicated October 2023
    Ebonie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    My Fellow bride friend. I'm truly sorry you didn't have the wedding of your dreams. I wish you a happy and healthy marriage though.
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you! That is much appreciated💚
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I can't figure out how to like comments or send messages on here but I wanted to let you know your responses are greatly appreciated. I see why you have that rockstar status and I hope you keep spreading support and wisdom to other disgruntled brides. Thank you from the bottom of my bustle! (It's bigger than my heart🤣👰‍♀)
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for your response! It's comforting to hear someone else understands about the "all that matters is your married" cliché. We did try our best to throw a party everyone would enjoy. Keep spreading that love! New brides will continue to appreciate it!
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you! I did get the necklace back. She had taken it with to roll up her car windows because it started to rain. I just had to chase her down because I also wanted to beat the rain for the photos. 😅🌧


    I will do my best to focus on the positive! All the supportive commenters here have truly helped. I don't have a lot of fellow fresh brides to commiserate with over here🤣👰‍♀
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for your response! Posting here has definitely helped me realize I am not alone💚
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    This is amazing!! If you feel like sharing more photos, I’m sure a lot of people would love to see them! (You should create a completely different post for them though with a fun title!)
    • Reply
  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Awww this comment made my day! Thank you 🥰
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for commenting! I do love a good trash-the-dress. But my mother and I made mine together, and it's a pretty badass fairy costume so I'd like to keep it.


    However, the we-do-re-do idea is one we'll definitely steal! I love that name. 🤣
    I also appreciate the suggestion to purge friends if necessary. I'm not sure it will come to that. Nobody was intentionally malicious. Just... some were forgetful. Others made choices they mistakenly thought I would approve of. I'm still upset by how it all turned out but I'm trying not to burn bridges because their hearts were in the right place. The execution was just.... absolutely terrible🤣. Like, I understand how much it sucks to work on something so hard and have it not turn out. (Not referring to my wedding specifically. Projects in general) but even tho ppl tried their best... it was my wedding. And things did not work out because of stuff other people did. And that just hurts.
    So thank you for understanding! I truly appreciate your advice!
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh my gosh - gorgeous photo!!! Fits your theme perfectly, and it truly looks like a photo you'd find in a magazine!
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you for the response! To be honest I was trying to fix my face after the aggressive bridal party music. and then the flower brigades music that started at the wrong spot, stopped abruptly, and the restarted. It took till halfway down the aisle to remember I should be looking at him in the first place😅. It was a spiral aisle tho so there was plenty of time🤣🤣


    Tho I did speak with him and he definitely noticed🤣😂🤣😂
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much! We literally had the 2nd photog running behind us with a can of spray fog. It was hilarious 😂
    • Reply
  • Fairybride
    August 2023
    Fairybride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    Oooh good idea! I'll do that when I get my sneaky peaky album in a week or so!
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics